Logs:A New Way of Being
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| RL Date: 3 January, 2016 |
| Who: Dahlia, Ka'ge |
| Involves: Fort Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: Ka'ge stops by a few days after Zymadiath loses Taeliyth's flight. New and old paths are discussed. |
| Where: Dahlia and Taeliyth's Weyr, Fort Weyr |
| When: Day 21, Month 9, Turn 39 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: A'sran/Mentions, Mirinda/Mentions, N'rov/Mentions |
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>---< Dahlia and Taeliyth's Weyr, Fort Weyr(#1064RJs$) >---------------------<
In a time long past, this spacious and well appointed weyr belonged to the
legendary Moreta. Though the time of legend is past, it still serves its
purpose. The first room is a lopsided cavern that would be longer than it
was wide were it not for the bulge that provides space for the be-pillowed
dragon wallow. On the long side of this area is set a trio of finely
furnished comfortable chairs, two fine chaise lounges and a short round
table that must be meant for entertaining company. Hung on the wall
opposite the dragon couch is a fine tapestry, though it doesn't fill the
length of the space, depicting dragonriders meeting Thread over a Hold.
Farther back there's a square table with accompanying chairs for taking
meals beside a small hearth. The walls here are plain stone with glows
hung at even intervals.
A rich tapestry covers the person-sized entrance to the tip-tilted oblong
sleeping room at the rear of the weyr. The room houses a bed broad enough
to be comfortable for two with sinfully soft pink sheets and a grey
blanket covering. The decorations and small hearth here are homey with a
tropical bent. The furniture doesn't quite fit the theme, being more
elegant and finely upholstered than what would be found in a Southern
bungalow. The oddest part of this private space is that one side of the
sleeping chamber has looks like a construction zone, with piles of
reclaimed wood, tools and other odds and ends.
At the far end of the sleeping room another curtained arch leads to a
small bathing room with a hot spring and the necessary shelves, hooks and
cabinets to contain items for personal care.
-----------------------------< Active Players >-----------------------------
Dahlia F 19 5'9" sturdy, dk. brown hair, hazel eyes 0s
Ka'ge M 17 6' toned, black hair, blue-green eyes 1m Zymadiath's arrival outside, a dark dragon in the darkening evening of the bowl, is far enough away to not be so obvious as to his rider's intentions. Nor does he announce himself, or Ka'ge. The young bronzerider steps up onto Taeliyth's ledge, not quite as familiar as with her old one, skirting along the same wall he'd occupied at the start of her flight. His expression, awash of anything obvious even before he lifts a gloved hand to pull his hood down from his head prematurely, remains blank. Rough, unkempt black hair is more like that of the pre-rider Kael, and beneath his jacket he wears the same greys Dee had once stitched a heart into. But when he rounds the corner through the entrance way into the main weyr itself, he pauses at that distance- whatever initial distance may bring Dee into view- in that particularly silent, still, watchful and of course creepy nature he has. Taeliyth slumbers deeply in her wallow, her sleeping thoughts quiet and smug (if less so than when she had a clear memory of events a few days before). Dahlia, however, remains at work. Impressively, no food remains on her plate as so often has been the case in the days and months since her illness. Her focus is impressive, but every now and again a little smile ghosts to her lips, or a little trace of a blush. She doesn't look up until Crin helpfully squawks from somewhere behind and well above the bronzerider. When she does, there's surprise first but then a warm smile blossoms. "Kael," is quiet but carries in the space, and she makes an inviting gesture to the seat across from her and one to the collection of booze on a sideboard near the more cozy entertaining area closer to him. The darkling bronze beyond in the bowl waits for a time- perhaps as long as it takes for Dahlia to notice his rider and respond to his presence- before heavy wings take him back up into the almost-night sky. Ka'ge remains at his post until the welcoming gesture is granted, undoubtably ready to vanish again if it hadn't. There's a faint lopsided grin that strikes something across his face, wisps of his usual arrogrance present more in the stride he takes to begin closing the distance than the quieter tone of his voice, "Post-flight suits you." Kael notes as he reaches the table, opposite her, placing gloved fingers on its top while he studies her. "That smile, I've missed it." Dahlia sets her pen down and watches him come. Only after he's settled himself does she slide out of her seat, not just now responding to his first comment, or even the second. Instead she moves to stand rather closely next to him, the smile there, softer, "Stand up?" she requests. Dark brows furrow gently, but he obliges, sliding from the seat to stand before Dee. Ka'ge is unassuming, but faces her directly and closely. His proximity is an inch or so closer than what she'd already granted, and standing still, he searches her hazel eyes with a slightly tilted head and the lingering traces of that grin. Lower still, his voice is not inappropriate, only private, "Did he treat you well?" Again, she doesn't answer him just now. First Dee shifts to slip her arms around his waist, pulling herself to him in a hug that finds her cheek against his shoulder. It's only after that's gone on some peaceful moments that she speaks. "A'sran was very understanding. He helped me let go of some things I thought I needed to hold onto." Things that perhaps Ka'ge can be grateful for, since that's probably the only thing that's letting her hug him now without tears. Her hug is unexpected. Ka'ge's hands hover at her sides and his silence stretches. When the peaceful moments begin to tick by, he does eventually let himself embrace her in return. Though he doesn't easily speak gratitude, that is more what's in the pressure he holds her with than anything else. Eventually, he even lets his chin and cheek rest on her brown haired head. "If it's he that I owe for this, I have quite a debt to pay." Although darkly spoken, it still has a teasing flare to it. "I came only to see how you fared. I haven't exactly spent much time here." He lifts his head to look around, before looking down at her with one raised brow- suggesting only his dedicated winged spy has frequented her quarters uninvited. "I'm better," and really what, other than the flight, could have happened that would make Dahlia's answer to the last this after their last encounter. She gives him a final squeeze and stepping back. "Kael, I need to say something," which was probably not part of the conversation. "I'm not ready for relationships. For different reasons than before. I'm just not. But we were some kind of friends before we were other things," sort of, "and I miss my friend. I miss you." She looks entirely earnest when she says it, the weight of her gaze heavy on his face. "Is that something that you can handle?" It's not a small question, of course, but she asks anyway. Ka'ge releases her as she steps back, but not without a small bit of reluctance as his hands fall away from her. "My pursuit of you has been detrimental to us both from the first day we met." There's an ease to his expression despite the weight of those words and all the memories they carry with them, though a hardness that's grown behind it is more prominent with the setting of his jaw. "I never believed in happy for myself, but it's something I've found I wish to see in you." He loses his grin for some more thoughtful, serious look. "To see you cry by just the sight of me.." There's an exhale, a slight tilt of his head as he dismisses the rest of that sentiment, though his attentions never stray from her hazel eyes. And after he either finds- or doesn't- whatever he was looking for, he adds slowly, deliberately, "I'm a useful friend to have." Dahlia's eyes and expression cloud with confusion then upset that comes with a shaking of her head. "Kael," she starts but then has to figure out what to say, where the real 'start' is. Apparently, it starts with, "I love you," a sentiment quickly followed by, "It's been and continues to be too complicated to feel that way about anyone. It probably sounds crazy but that's what's made this hard, not the lack of--" and now she can't say the same word she just said. Now she looks awkward and unsure, seeking to step back from him, to create the physical distance that she feels those words somehow require. As she steps back to claim more distance, he steps forward to close it. Ka'ge kisses the top of her head- a very brief thing- with an unworried sort of grin ghosting back to him. Further, he grants her that distance himself, turning away as if to take in the rest of her weyr. "I don't help making things less.. complicated," He prefaces with his back to her, and there may be a smirk that curls those words, but it's as short-lived as the rest of his potentially earnest expression. Then, graver, "I wish to speak freely to you, but not at the cost of that smile I walked in on. The color back in your face." The young bronzerider turns to glance at her, a sidelong thing, blue-green eyes brighter against his dark brows and hair backed by the hearth, "Your innocence once captivated me. But what you've grown into, continue to grow into, is only better. I wasn't.. warm to your needs, never have been. I suppose I don't know how to be. When I saw death in your face." He pauses, a gloved grip on one of the chairs tightening too much before he deliberately releases, "I need you, Dee." And, for once, there fails to be inappropriate implications within that. Dahlia shrinks a little from his pursuit but when it proves only to be a kiss to her forehead and then the space she wanted, she seems relieved, perhaps having wildly imagined that such a confession would have him seeking something more that she wasn't prepared to entertain. She watches him as he turns, listens as he talks. "My appetite is better," she murmurs, perhaps more to herself than him. More direct is her thoughtful, "I feel a bit like a rowboat that capsized, only just now having flipped back over, still a little waterlogged, but finding my balance again." She chews on her lower lip. "I don't want to ask you not to speak freely with me," now that he's finally willing to do so, "but it might be better for us both if you were able to wait a time. Let me finish finding my balance, let me become more sure of it before there might be--" she can't seem to get away from the metaphor, "-another wave." Still, she moves to stand beside him, reaching to place one hand over one of his gloved ones. "I don't intend to die anytime soon, Kael. And we've never been uncomplicated. Maybe we could try it for a while. Uncomplicated friends who need each other." She looks up at him with a soft, small hopeful smile. "I see that." Ka'ge replies first, feigning amusement as he flicks a couple of fingers in gesture at her empty plate. But at her warning, he's more uneasy, more strained demonstrated in a set expression and tension over his shoulders. "I've been waiting since the day I met you." Is cryptic, non-romantic, but paused all the same when she puts a hand over his. He stares at that hand, the heaviness easing a few degrees until he manages to shift, placing his other hand over hers, "Words have always made us more complicated if you recall." Is his return warning, with a playful catch to it and an amused churn of expression. "The worst boat is the one left afloat to face the storms without a paddle." The edge of his lips twitch, "Or at least the silent stars to guide from afar when you get turned around after you've faced the wave alone." "Do you suppose never speaking again would solve anything for us? Or would we simply find some form of pantomime that let us be just as complicated in a new medium?" Dahlia picks up the thread of his playfulness and reflects it in her too innocent tone and smile. Her expression sobers a little, softens, but doesn't darken, "Good thing that we have paddles and stars, then, isn't it." She looks up at him and squeezes his hand lightly. "You know, Kael, I know you've always held yourself apart from this life, from this place, even when Zymadiath wants so badly to just protect it from even the impossible, but I can't be everything you need. Fort, though... it can, if you let it. Find the people who can fill in the gaps." She's probably not talking about girls. She's talking about people, about community, about embracing his role in it. "Every person in Fort is a star. Find the right ones to follow, Kael, and our boats will never be too far from one another." "Aye, something along the lines of pictures in the dirt and secret hand gestures." Ka'ge follows, in almost a mumble, though doesn't look back up at her until he adds more somber and almost more to himself than to her. "You are everything that makes me want to follow these stars." He shakes his head, as if trying to take it back, "Even Zymadiath, for all that he may want to protect it, and would never let me do it wrong, is no different than me. I can't change so easily." His top hand squeezes hers back, and then corrects more directly. "I don't want to change." Which, of course, makes it even less easy. And although there's certainly more things he wishes to say, he turns to face her instead with her hand still lightly in his grasp, "But," There's a bit of mocking in the rest of his words, a little grudgingly, but not entirely crafted into a joke. "Maybe I could try just a little harder to play nice with the other kids." Dee listens; she always does. Of course, with the way that her free hand reaches up to place her palm flat against his chest, just where his heart is and she replies, "You may not want other reasons for following these stars, but if you let yourself, you'll find them. Or they you," and with her response that, it's easy to think she didn't listen to everything that was said. "You know N'rov is my best-friend," she asks but doesn't ask. "It was luck or skill that made it so, but when I found out about the Weyr Council vote, I asked him to be the back up plan, if I couldn't overturn the vote in time. I asked him to chase and try to win if a foreign gold came here. We are fortunate that Vhaeryth won." This is her truth. "I think he's a star worth following, a boat I like to have in sight. Maybe start there." It's a suggestion. "And if you'll listen, I might have other suggestions in time." "As strong as you've gotten, you can't force the stars to follow different paths, or for stars to get along with the darkness behind them." Ka'ge states finally, releasing her hand to hook his fingers in his hood, to pull it up. That comfort blanket. "He's a clever man, I don't disagree, but I won't go hunting across the Weyr like a baby canine lost for guidance. I'm not so lost." Though he doesn't directly agree with her 'truth', he doesn't disagree either, only glancing away again in his own thoughts. "You're still just recovering. Don't worry about me. Faranth knows you have enough to worry about in this place." "No," Dahlia agrees even as her hands go up to try to push that hood right back, stepping a little closer, her smile one of warmth and acceptance, "but it doesn't mean that I can't encourage you to put down more roots. You spend a lot of time away from home, Kael. I've got my roots now as much as Taeliyth does. Is it so wrong to want you to put some of yours where mine are nurtured?" She reaches up a hand to cup his cheek, her look earnest. "You could stand to trust my judgment in matters of the heart... where it's not our hearts," she pinches an eye as she realizes the holes there and gives him a guilty smile. "I'll always worry. It's in my nature to take the weight of the world when people can't wrest it from me." Ka'ge lets her draw his hood back, stilled by it, watching her. And her efforts bring back a softening of his face. His hand reaches towards her as she cups his cheek, lightly pushing back strands of hair and lingering with his touch behind her ear. "Aye," He offers in light of the traveling and the roots, "But I'll always return, to here. Your roots make this much more doable." 'This' being undefined, and yet all-encompassing. "When you're ready to hear me, I will try to explain myself. Until then, trust that what I do is for Fort, and even when I'm not around, I still have my ears to these walls." There's a more sly, more relaxed look to that, "You keep trying to teach me those matters. Maybe someday I'll listen." His finger slides from her ear to her jaw, pausing as he rubs a thumb over her cheek. Dahlia's hand moves from his cheek to his hand near hers, capturing it to her cheek for a moment. She closes her eyes briefly and then just as briefly turns her face to his palm and kisses the leather before releasing it and stepping back. "I won't give up on you again, even if I'm not sure I can ever be what you want me to be." She steps around him to go to the sidebar and pour a drink for herself. "And even though I'm not sure you'll ever learn." There's something light and teasing in that remark, glancing back at him with a fond smile that doesn't cross emotional borders to more or invitation. "And yet I always remind you that you already are. Funny, you never seem to believe me." On this concept of what he 'wants'. "It's more likely I will never be what you want me to be. But sometimes our wants aren't always our needs." This is less serious, and continues to gravitate that way as there's a breathy chuckle, Ka'ge taking that moment to shrug a lopsided shrug and run the unkissed hand through his messy black hair. "I've a hard head, but you have your ways. You've beaten odds on many other occassions. And in return, if you'd let me-" he follows her, though with more slow deliberance, allowing space and distance, until he can lean on the bar- with it inbetween them both as if he's mostly participating in that respect of borders. "I would really like to teach you just a couple things to keep.. them.." The slyness of his grin wavers, though he maintains the more friendly facade despite his thoughts, "In line. When you need to." "I think perhaps that's a lie you tell yourself, Kael. If I were what you wanted, I'd be ready to be with you," Dahlia probably has him there, but her tone is a little sad. She takes a deep breath and picks up her glass, bringing it to her lips. She drinks and then sets the glass back down, raising her brows. "Who am I keeping in line? And I might let you try to teach me, though I've a hard head," she smirks a little for being able to quote him right back, "but I want a few things from you in return. Nothing too taxing, I imagine." They wouldn't be for her at any rate. That's when she reaches to pour him a drink and slide it toward him. Ka'ge's look falters, though he stares down at the drink instead of her. Her words clearly meet with confusion, as he's silent for a time while gloved fingers curl around the glass and attention sinks into the beverage within it. "I don't lie to myself." He says with an abrupt harshness that's quickly dissolved by the time he looks up at her again. "I've always known what I wanted." Is far more broad than relationship-goals. "You'll be ready to be with whoever, or none, at your own pace. Your decision, on your time. If I lose you again for being patient, well," He shrugs vaguely, though it's hard to miss the strain in it that he fails to hide, "I will just wait longer. Or just stay as I am. Here, around." He spreads his free hand, a gesture outwards, "Eyes and ears if you want another pair." Her request earns a raised glass, a sort of cheer, and an indirect agreement of, "I've yet to deny you crazier things." Dahlia's hazel gaze lifts with some surprise as Ka'ge speaks, watching him, her expression thoughtful. She lifts her glass and tips it slowly. "I suppose you're right," she admits. "Someday I'll likely be ready again. For now, it's easiest for me not to think in those terms even a little. It's hard to imagine feeling ready for something that requires emotional commitment. I can't imagine losing someone I love, not again." Her face briefly shows the depth of her feelings on that point. She finishes her drink quickly, letting that act as segue for her to step toward him, around the bar even as her drink is set upon it. "Alright, tell me, what do you want to teach me? And we'll see if it's worth the favors I want in return." Ka'ge tips back the glass, downing all she'd given him in the moments she speaks. The grimace following is helpful in hiding how he likely would have reacted, instead giving nothing more on it. With one elbow he leans on the bar, until she comes around the bar to him. Alcohol- the best remedy for oh so many situations. "Little something to keep the handsy ones off you. The loud mouths seem to get themselves taken care of." Noted with playful-aggression and implied threat on the matter, though left vague for the fact Zymadiath has only taken him to two flights to date. "You don't need the greatest reaction time to give 'em a nice little warning. Here-" He holds out his arm for her to hold his wrist- a common place for many to grab. "Oh, that kind of thing," Dahlia realizes as he explains, looking both amused and chagrined. "Alright, but you know how miserable I was at self-defense." So he knows what he's in for. She seems unbothered by his pretended aggression. She doesn't reach for his wrist. "And we haven't come to an agreement. I want favors too, remember?" So no learning yet. "I want you to tend Chiv better." That's first. "Love him. Feed him." She stresses that with a look. "He's a sweetheart," she thinks, "and he deserves your care as hard as he works for you. I don't mind him coming to me when he just wants to, but--" She takes a breath, "We've grown up, Ka'ge. It's time for your little spy to be put to better use elsewhere. I want my privacy." It's a topic that's been broached before, now it seems like a line in the sand where before it was a gentler thing. Ka'ge lowers his hand, replacing his elbow on the bar top; the lesson apparently will have to wait. "Aye, we've grown. But you are no less important. Becoming more so as time goes on, not less. Your privacy," There's a slight shake of his head as he adds, a little grim, "There's not much of that, even without my help. And his eyes aren't for my pleasure." A firelizard's 'image', so vague, more feelings- is it not better than he himself dropping by? "More for my peace of mind. His visits are brief enough- you'd really have me withdraw him?" It's probably fairly telling that he comments nothing on the little creature's care. "If you treat him better, perhaps he'll come more often of his own volition for my companionship. It's fair that on those times he might clue you in." Dahlia allows. See? She can compromise. "But it's not something I'm comfortable with anymore, Kael. No firelizard, no going through my things, not that I think you've done so lately," rightly or wrongly, "but I need my solitude. You can get your peace of mind by visiting me once a seven, if you like. Twice some sevens, maybe. Lunch or dinner or a lesson." See? Compromising. "It was never something done for comfort, but done transparently so that you knew." Ka'ge returns. There's many things implied in that response, and he lets it sit for a good moment before continuing. "But.. your wish is my command." The bronzerider says after with a slight palm-upturned gesture of forfeit, as if all of her terms would be met without complaint or desire for.. more forgiving 'compromise'. She doesn't move until he agrees. She releases a relieved breath. "Thank you, Kael. It means a lot to me. I do hope you'll visit me, though." It would be nice her tone tells him. Of course, she wouldn't be Dee if that was the only thing she wanted. "We're going to start having new faces. I don't know where we'll get them, but we barely managed to get enough for Zaisavyth's eggs. Unless Taeliyth--" she doesn't let herself go there, shaking her head, "It's likely to be a healthy clutch. Even if she doesn't match Zaisavyth, there will be new faces. My duties are time-consuming. I don't think I'll get to know everyone as well as I'd like. May I ask you to-- nicely-- get to know them in case you can glean more than I can?" Ka'ge messes with the glass, sliding it back and forth a couple inches between forefinger and thumb, staring at it as she offers appreciation. There's a heavy exhale that follows the end of the first, a narrowing of his eyes as he considers the second. There's a faint change of expression, a quiet laugh that's almost believable. "I'm nice." He complains first, glancing back at her from his now slightly turned position, "Can't be too nice, or you don't get to know people- how they really are. You don't want another one of me Impressing Taeliyth's eggs, do you?" Is a joke, but how deep of one? "No, that's not it," Dahlia's response is immediate enough that she either needs to have become a good liar or it really isn't the case. "It might be mostly that I don't want another of me. Think what we did as candidates, uninformed and well-intentioned, but now I'm in Lilah's position. I want to understand the people who are standing. I don't want you to provoke them, much. Some people have delicate sensibilities and that's doubly true if we get holdbred. Holdbred who are likely to be women." She bites her lower lip, thinking on that a moment before shaking her head. "You know how you like to know things? I do too. Just different reasons." She offers with a small smile. "You mean a pure-hearted young girl that cares for everyone and was able to lead even the most bullheaded youths into doing something clearly crazy, and then Impresses gold? How terrible." Ka'ge's tease is a little dark, a little ironic. "All candidates are uninformed, most are well-intentioned. But I can get an eye on their personalities, sure. The dragons have interesting.. choices." With her last, he straightens a little, turning to face her more directly. "Different reasons? But you don't know mine, not yet. We might be a little more alike than you think." She looks bemused by Ka'ge's description. "More terrible than you could imagine," Dee agrees gravely, though it's hard to say how much she jests and how much is real. She considers the last seriously enough. "Maybe," she allows. "We can talk about that at length later," she suggests. "Later." Ka'ge confirms, but with a drawn-out tone that has a caveat, a silent 'but' built into it. Relinquishing his post at the bar table, he closes the distance in that ghosting manner he has, quick but intentional. "When- if," The correction comes a little exaggerated as he lifts a hand to touch a gloved knuckle under her chin to tip it up just so, "I can be certain of any of this. All those answers you used to want to know so badly and I made you evade them so often. All the games I used to play-" He trails off briefly, seeking her hazel eyes, his voice falling lower, "There is something I'm waiting for in you, but not what you think I want." He's again so-close, as if he'd kiss her, but the feeling isn't right. The mood he has is different; severe, stern, that of someone searching. It's eased, if she doesn't pull away early, when his touch on her chin brushes up her cheek instead and the expression fades into a partial grin. "Unless you're happier not knowing. Ignorance is bliss, they say." Dee's eyes track his movement, study his face, gauge his mood. Surely, if he had moved in for the kiss that could have been, it would've been met with an attempt to shift away, but seeing as how even with that closeness, he doesn't truly attempt to push the goldrider's boundaries, she seems to trust him with that lack of space. She lets him study her, brush her cheek, she just looks at him, hazel eyes holding their untold depths. "Is it something you think I need to know now?" She's willing, it seems, to at least take his opinion into account in considering her own readiness to hear whatever it may be. Maybe it's the lack of reaction that sees to his hand falling away, the young bronzerider stepping back to give her back her space. "You never need to hear any of it." Ka'ge states, letting his blank eyes look at hers a lingering moment until he decides it's been enough. Then, somewhat abruptly, "Thank you for inviting me in." Or, at least, inviting to stay since he let himself in. "Let me know if you're in the mood for a lesson--" A nonspecific gesture is made, waved slightly at the room, "whenever. I would appreciate the opportunity to help you help yourself." Since he's been further restricted from doing so, he implies. Each glove hem is tugged, one of those ticks he'd probably never grow out of, and his hood would shortly after be shrugged into place. "Goodnight, Dee." Dee reaches to catch one of those gloved hands before the hood gets put in place. For all that she seems no good at defending herself, she's wily about getting in her hugs when she wants them, and it's under his guard she slips to wrap her arms around him. It's briefer than the first, but no less sincere. She won't keep him longer than he wants to be kept and not long in any case. "I'll make time," she tells him, for the lessons probably. "I'm glad you came." She means that too, but parting ways seems to suit her well now so with only a smile she offers, "Goodnight, Kael." |
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