Logs:Close to Alive
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| RL Date: 18 October, 2014 |
| Who: H'vier, Tahvra, Tayre, Tayte, Yvalia |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: After the storm, Tayte, H'vier, and family process. |
| Where: Tayte's Room, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 13, Month 1, Turn 36 (Interval 10) |
| OOC Notes: Sex. Angst. Part collab vig, part scene. Back-dated. |
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| Of course she hadn't turned him away in the wake of the news. The girls had come back from the nannies' and Tayre was with her, of course. When H'vier showed up, in spite of all they'd been through, it made her feel safer, somehow. Weird, right? Less weird is how things happened after that. They talked, all of them. H'vier sat on the loveseat, holding the baby; Tayte sat cross-legged with Tavi in her lap and Yvalia on the floor. She was working on her lessons even though her mother had told her she wouldn't expect anyone to mind them the next day. Even for Vali it was easier to have something to focus on. Tavi played with her dolls and Tayte focused on the girls while H'vier focused on his son who still slept more than he was awake, who ate as much as he cried, and who-- ... well. When all of the children were asleep, Vali and Tavi in their shared bed around the curve of the kidney-shaped room, and Tayre in the bassinet so rarely used when it's just Tayte and the girls. That's when she took his hand and led him to the bed. This time, he didn't refuse her. She hadn't technically been cleared by the healers, but her appointment was the following day and-- she needed to feel close to someone now, she needed to feel alive and what better way is there? She communicated in hushed words the need for gentility, for caution, but by the time things were underway, much of the caution simply went out the window, if not the conscious need for all but absolute silence. Tayte is curled against him now, her body tucked in the way that is so achingly familiar, her cheek on his chest. But let's get one thing straight: they're not back together even if her hand is seeking his to entwine her fingers, to feel joined with him still, somehow. She doesn't speak except to say, "Stay, please?" At least until dawn, at least until he can slip out before the girls rouse, at least until they have to part to avoid explanations. H'vier has never been a stranger to death, but there's something to be said for having a family. He'd never really had to deal with the thought that he might lose one of them sooner than he'd like to. Not like that. So he came to his family rather than dealing with his feelings alone with the more typical bottle of something alcoholic. By the time the children were asleep, H'vier was expecting to take his leave. The invitation to Tayte's bed was infinitely better than leaving and he didn't have the wherewithal or the desire to turn her away again. He could be gentle, though, or try despite the fervency of being with her again, the urgency to have this familiar intimacy with the woman he never stopped loving. They might not be back together. They might not ever be back together. But this feels good right now, having Tayte curled up against him. H'vier doesn't answer so much as rumble something affirmative, tilting his head slightly closer to hers. It might be harder to get him to leave. She stays close, until Tayre's waking shifts steal her from the bed to pick him up, to bring him close. There's more than one waking before dawn, but at the closest one to it, once Tayre is asleep again between herself and the raised of the bed, she rolls to face H'vier, watching him sleep some moments before she leans in to brush a kiss across his lips, followed by gentle insistent hands seeking to wake him. "Havi, it's time." She sounds regretful when she says it, but resigned. It's been awhile since H'vier has slept so soundly. He only stirs quietly when Tayte tends to their son and when she wakes him up properly to usher him off, H'vier is reluctant, but not unwilling to do as she asks for the sake of the girls. He rises to dress himself, but before he leaves, he comes back to kiss her tenderly and murmur, "Thank you." It's when he comes back and after he kisses her that she throws her arms around his neck for a moment. "I love you, Havi." It's probably because the losses of the previous day are still so fresh that she says it. "Stay safe. They need their father." She looks up at him earnestly as her arms fall back to her sides. Those words are unexpected, almost as unexpected as the arms around his neck, and they have an equally unexpected effect on the bronzerider. One that makes his voice a little rough when he says, "I love you, too, baby." H'vier draws away as her arms drop down and he offers a small smile that's probably meant to say that he'll be fine. He glances toward Tayre, then back to Tayte one last time before he's turning toward the door to let himself out. There's a three count where Tayte stares at the door once it's closed. Then she closes her eyes and forces herself to lay back, snuggling into the warmth he left behind, smelling the scent of him still on her pillow. They're not together, she tells herself. They'll never be together again. It's better for everyone this way. And then she buries her face in the pillow and smothers her tears. The ones that aren't just for everyone who died or everyone she loves who could have and didn't. The ones that are for things far more stupid and inconsequential. That helps her stop them, knowing that. She draws slow breaths as the baby stirs and then she's needed, needed to be whole, needed to be smiling, needed to be calm. So she is what she needs to be. The rest can wait. Tayre can't. When the door is closed very carefully behind him, H'vier stands there for a handful of seconds, eyes shut, to take a deep breath and gather himself. When those seconds have passed, he moves on, ignoring the few people he passes on his way out to the bowl. « You can't have her again. Not after-- » H'vier interrupted the bronze with a growled, "I know." And that was that. |
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