Logs:Destiny
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| RL Date: 15 November, 2014 |
| Who: Lycinea, Madilla |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: Lycinea has questions. Madilla, answers. |
| Where: Weyrhealer's Office, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 13, Month 4, Turn 36 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Delifa/Mentions, Oliwer/Mentions, Satiet/Mentions |
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>---< Weyrhealer's Office, High Reaches Weyr >-------------------------------<
The Weyrhealer's Office has clearly been recently redecorated; much of the
furniture looks quite new. The room has been set out into several
different spaces: a desk, with a chair behind it and two set out in front,
several bookcases, and then a little sitting area. The hangings on the
wall, the rugs, and the fabrics used to cover the chairs all match: a
color scheme of purples and reds that aim for warmth and comfort.
A kettle hangs above the little hearth that provides warmth to the room,
with a small shelf next to it where a collection of teas, as well as mugs
and spoons, can be found.
-----------------------------< Active Players >-----------------------------
Lycinea F 17 5'5" Slender, Blonde hair, Blue-green eyes 11s
Madilla F 33 5'7" Average, Brown hair, Green eyes 0s
----------------------------------< Exits >---------------------------------
Infirmary
>-------------------------------------< 13D 4M 36T I10, spring afternoon >---< She'd done her best (which wasn't very good) when shadowing Oliwer months before the storm. She'd show up as scheduled once or twice a seven when the Journeyman was on duty and follow him through his rounds, help with the infirmary aide work, annoy Treinan with her flippant attitude and mouthiness (two things she largely reserved for Oliwer otherwise, lucky him!). After the storm, however, she stayed away. This makes hers a rather unexpected face to see in the doorway to the Weyrhealer's office after the knock and the bidding to enter. "Weyrhealer, do you--" Already Lya doubts herself, not that Madilla is rumored to be in any way intimidating (unless you don't follow healer's orders, and even then...), but after a drawn breath, she continues in a rush. "Do you have a moment-- to talk?" Indeed, Madilla's expression holds genuine surprise in it when the door opens to reveal Lycinea, and not the half a dozen or more owners of female voices it might likely have been, instead. She's sitting at the couch near the hearth, feet curled up beneath her, surrounded by papers. She has to glance back over her shoulder in order to see the younger girl, but that doesn't stop her from beckoning her in, nodding as she does so. "Of course I do. Come in, have a seat. Would you like tea? The water's freshly brewed." "No," the teen rejects the offer out of hand as she sits and then remembers some manners and adds, "Thank you though," an awkward beat later. Lya's blue-green gaze sweeps her surroundings, taking in the office, the furniture, the fire, the papers and eventually Madilla herself again. "I'm sorry. You're busy, I should--" Chicken out, evidently as she makes to stand, the blush in her cheeks visible in the firelight. Madilla lifts a hand, the gesture clearly intended to stay Lya's imminent departure. "No, I've time," she says, reaching out to gather up some of the papers and set them aside. "I always find people more important than paperwork; they take priority. How can I help, Lycinea? I understand you've given up your work with us." There's anxiety in the way Lycinea picks at the purple patch on the left knee of the pair of old burnt orange leggings she wears, but she keeps her seat. "I wasn't very good at it." She takes a slow breath. "I went, when they asked for volunteers, to help at the Hold. I thought I could change bandages or something," she was probably proficient enough to do that much. "Only-- I couldn't." She swallows hard. "I've never seen an infirmary so full. So I went to help with something else, and I ended up-- helping with the ones that nothing could be done for." She swallows, her eyes on that patch as if the stitching she's pulling at is somehow helping her keep it together. "How do you do it, ma'am?" She asks, tone vulnerable, eyes uncertain as she looks to the older woman, to the healer. "They weren't even old," as if being old might somehow have made it better or easier to handle. Madilla's exhale is just short of a sigh, and comes as her eyes close, though neither seem to imply any dismissal or reluctance to talk on the subject. "It doesn't really get easier," she admits, a few moments later, when she's able to open her eyes and turn her attention back upon Lya. "I was about your age when Weyrwoman Satiet died, and my Journeyman was her healer. Knowing there was nothing we could do... ate me up inside. In the end, sometimes all you can do is be there, and sometimes... it's enough to help. I hate losing patients, but I've learned to live with it." Lycinea's lip is getting a little bit of a work over by her upper teeth as she listens, expression unusually somber, but then, this is an unusually serious topic. "Did you ever want to quit? Because it was impossible?" "Yes," says Madilla, no pause for thought required. "Seventeen turns ago, today, when Satiet died. And later, too, even though... but I knew I needed to keep at it. I knew that quitting would just mean that there would be other people, people I could've helped, who might die without me. Which sounds arrogant, but it's not." She presses her hands into the folds of her skirt. The teen blows out a breath. "Were you always good at healering?" This seems to be a lot of questions without a lot of explanation behind her words, but maybe that's what Lya is here to do: ask questions, get answers, maybe make sense of things obviously rolling around in all the empty space she has in her head. If it helps, Madilla doesn't seem bothered by the barrage of questions, nor by the apparent randomness of them. "No," she says in answer to this question, mouth drawn into a wry smile. "But perhaps not in the way you mean. I was... shy and unsure. I knew the theory, but I was terrified to put it into practice. I don't believe that a good healer is necessarily a good healer to begin with, though, no. You learn; that's why we have apprenticeships. Aptitude is important, though." Lycinea's expression falls, just a little. This time her blown out breath comes in the form of a sigh. "I wish I was good at it." She pulls at the patch with her fingertips. "I don't think I am." She's not. "But I'm-- it was nice of Healer Oliwer to offer." She clears her throat, starting to get to her feet again, "Thank you, Weyrhealer, for-- letting me try." This is... apparently, her resignation? She looks a little surprised to hear the words coming out of her mouth. Madilla, despite any misgivings she might have, and despite everything else, hesitates. "When there are things you want, Lycinea," she says, very quietly. "Sometimes, you need to work at them. Fight for them. There's not much in this life that comes easy; sometimes you need to take charge of your own destiny." That halts Lya before she even takes steps toward the door. "I don't know what I want." The girl's voice is quiet and not altogether strong. "I wanted to be of more use than I was after the storm." That much she can say with certainty. "I felt like I wasn't much and maybe could've been." She reaches a hand to tuck a tress behind her ear. "How did you decide what you wanted to do?" Madilla's gaze follows Lya, serious without being solemn. She nods, just once, as the girl talks, though that last question draws her mouth into a wry smile. "I didn't; it was decided for me. You're lucky; you have agency. You can figure out what it is you want, and do it. You're not too old for that. You're never too old to make a choice. Just... make a conscientious one. An active one." Lycinea sucks in a breath, thinking on what the Weyrhealer says. Slowly, she says, "What would be the next step-- in finding out if this is what I wanted. After shadowing, I mean." Since she's done that. Madilla straightens, adjusting her position upon the couch so that she can watch Lycinea. She lifts her hand towards her mouth, tapping one finger in front of it. "I could arrange for you to spend a seven at the Hall," she offers, after a moment. "Not as an actual apprentice, but effectively shadowing them. To see what it would be like, properly." She thinks. It's visible on her face, her lips pulled tight in concentration. "Can I get back to you about that?" Lya asks after some moments. Madilla waits, no pressure, no rush. "Of course," she says. "Take as long as you need. I'd rather you make sure you want it." Lycinea's nod is short, as is her, "Thank you," which is all the warning Madilla gets before the girl is hastily retreating from the room. Do they teach basic manners at healer? Lya may never know. |
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