Logs:Dimpled Encouragement
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| RL Date: 13 December, 2015 |
| Who: Lys, Telavi |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: Lys and Tela are such girls. |
| Where: Glitter and Glass Weyr, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 14, Month 7, Turn 39 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: C'ris/Mentions, Jocelyn/Mentions, K'zin/Mentions, P'tras/Mentions, T'gar/Mentions, T'zul/Mentions, V'ret/Mentions |
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| "Someday," Lys tells the other greenrider as she unboxes dinner onto the table intended for that purpose, "we'll be able to do this more than once in-- well, forever." The younger woman makes a face. Someday, when training is done. She makes a 'dig in' gesture for Tela to help herself, flopping down in one of the wooden chairs whose padding could use a little replacing but aren't unserviceable. "Someday," Telavi repeats, encourages, as a toast with the white wine she'd brought with her; the pleasantness doesn't pause her from portioning out those little egg wraps. the savories, the munchies. "It's so much nicer, so much cleaner. How does it feel?" "Better. I still don't want to move in yet. It seems like a lot of transitions all at once. There's so much going on, but I'm-- well, I'm using my tools. I'm taking Quinlys' advice. And Jocelyn's. It feels so strange to be listening to my teachers." That's wry from Lys, but also sincere. "To like what I'm doing for a change." Telavi hints at a dimple. "Wouldn't it have been nice if it had been sooner? But then maybe you wouldn't be who you are now. I hope it stays that way, I do, and I don't see why it shouldn't." "I think it happened just how it needed to." Lys answers Telavi with a smile. "I think it probably will. I just need to make sure I keep putting work first. I intend to get through this month with my silver thread. I heard people tend to lose them this month or next." She has a hard look for that, one of resolve. "I have C'ris tutoring me and V'ret helping me with the wing, and Jocelyn studying with me for silver threads and I'll be doing the same thing with T'gar soon, and then he'll manage some of the morning workouts for me." It's all very adult, really. "Like my clutchmates." Tela sniffs. "Of course, some people get them; it does happen, not just K'zin. Though really it's a lot of you already. Nobody's bothering you by now about being," she waves a green bean, "the only chromatic and all, or anything?" Then she bites off the green bean's head. "No, though there's been speculation about why so few since it's not Quinlys' usual pattern." Lys shrugs her shoulders, finally starting to collect herself a plate. "I didn't really expect to like them. My clutchmates. I didn't expect to make friends. You know how I am, how I've been. An acquired taste." Tela turns up her nose at that; "Unkind," she says of those who said such of her friend. She starts to continue, then stops in favor of another bite; then, "I'm glad. I'm really, really glad. And look at you, not just sticking with T'zul." "I'm sure they said that too," Lys jokes. Then, there's suddenly a blush. A sudden, telling blush. "No. I thought V'ret would-- I thought I'd work better with him. That he'd-- be-- more motivated to help take some of the workload." There's an obvious connection between the blush and the person spoken of, and yet, Lys feigns distraction and says, "Quinlys warned me that taking a second 'second would mean others after me could do so too." It doesn't worry Lys but it's a valiant attempt at misdirection. Tela looks pained in that moment, that joke, or 'joke'; that blush, now, those pauses... "Is that a problem? Are you worrried about being... taken?" "No. But I'd bet you marks if I had any that V'ret will tap me to helping him when his turn comes around, if it does." Lys only seems to realize in retrospect that that's telling too. She sighs a little, as if now having to face a confession. "We kissed." There it is. The big confession. Wide eyes! Flatteringly wide, blue-today eyes (in part thanks to her fetching turquoise toque). "And you liked it," Telavi breathes what's almost, almost not a question. "I liked it," Lys confirms, her cheeks darkening and her chin dipping, as she quietly adds, "So much." It's so embarrassing! Telavi doesn't actually clap, but her hands press together as though she might. "V'ret, of all people! I can see it. He looks better with his hair cut." Lys looks like she might squeal for a moment, but then she doesn't, pinching her face together - eyes, nose, lips. As if she can't bear to see Telavi's happiness for her. "I like him, Tela." That's helpless. "He's being patient and thoughtful and-- it's fucking terrifying." Then there's a laugh; that probably feels good to admit in such candid terms and not worry anyone will take it wrong. Telavi beams at her. Really, really beams. "I won't tell him," she says, and dimples. "What do you like about him?" Since this appears to be a like-like scenario, and not just kiss-or-whatever his brains out. This seems to require some genuine thought and so Lys is quiet as she eats. Then, carefully, "I like the way he is when he's real. Or seems to be. He can do this thing where he's so slick, but when he misunderstands my meaning or over-thinks or just talks, it's-- I like who he is. How he is." She rubs one hand on the thigh of her pants, just easing out some nerves, "When he's focused on me, he's really focused. Intensely. It's-- I've never had that." It's probably at once terrifying and exciting for her. This 'real' thing-- Tela colors, just slightly, nothing that clashes with her toque too much. But, "Does it feel like he, I don't know, 'sees' you? It's fun that it sounds... different with you, special with you." There's an unmistakable curiosity for Tela's blush and a look, but possibly Lys doesn't know where to begin in phrasing a question that would address it. "It feels like he could see me, if he wants to. I think he's still figuring out if he wants to. I think I'm still figuring out if I want him to. But I think I do. Even if he sees me and then doesn't ever want to see me again. It... would be nice to be seen. Once in my life." At least. "I like that part, too, the differentness. The specialness. When he tries to be slick and compliment me in front of other people... I don't like that. I wouldn't like that even if he weren't being slick. This isn't for them. It's for us. They don't need to know. Is that weird?" "All those ifs," Tela breathes, heedless of curiosity about her, wistfulness reflected in her empathizing with that once. "Slick, ugh. Or would-be slick, when it's not just a tongue-in-cheek sharing funny... I don't think it's weird, not one little bit. Secrets are fun. Just as long as it's not like you're ashamed of him, you know?" "I'm not." It's not even too defensive when she says it, just candid. "It's just that this is hard for me, and I don't need anyone prying in their nose without invitation." Lys chews and then leans forward to grab up her cup. "And really, until he decides if he wants to see me, until I decide if sex is even at all fun or worthwhile," which seems a big if to Lys, "I don't need other people telling me what to feel or why." Telavi wiggles her nose, just a little, teasingly. "What, you don't want them all... oh, never mind, I'll spare you," though dimples are showing. "If you enjoy kissing, then kiss! Cheek-kisses? Nose-kisses? Lip-kisses?" The list could go on. "I enjoy kissing him." Specifically V'ret. "Not that I've been going around kissing other people to know if I'd enjoy kissing other people too, now," Lys considers. "But I expect I'll have a chance to try that anyway, with Evyth and I guess I'll enjoy that anyway?" She looks to the older, wiser greenrider. She would know, wouldn't she? Telavi nods, decisively nods, only-- "When push comes to shove, yes!" Bad choice of words? Her unselfconscious tone is apt to sell it anyway, plus she doesn't pause; "There can be awkward bits before, I hear, and fine, I've woken up with some really strange people, but that's not now, that's much much later, and it's fun. But, all right, you're kissing, so what's the problem? Is there a problem, when those other people aren't around, or is it all sheer kissy bliss?" "It's good in the moment, but then I think about the things I did or said after it's all over and-- I feel so out of my own control. And I wonder if I've said moronic things or done moronic things, and I don't know how this is supposed to go and I never know what to do with my hands and--" Lys sighs. Why does it all have to be so hard and complicated? Control. Tela sniffs, and she says, "If you like it and they like it, nothing's moronic." If she's made fun of certain other people's o-faces, and sounds, in the past... bygones! "And part of what you like, the real, is real. If it's all, I don't know, choreographed, that can be fun and feel good too, but not like the real-ness you like. It's okay if someone farts even, though it sometimes wrecks the mood if it's too stinky or someone is giggling," that would be Tela, "but then there's later. What do you want to do with your hands?" "I don't know, I never know, that's the problem." Lys tells Tela with a sigh. It's through her next bite that she adds, "But I think you have a good point about that real thing. "I think I have trouble not knowing where my boundaries are, even. Like I feel like they should be one place, and then they turn out to be farther than I expect, and then I wonder if maybe there really is something to greenriders being naturally slutty." She wiggles her brows expressively at Telavi. And, of course, she gets dimples back. "I could name names of people who aren't," Tela says, "or at least who claim they aren't," but why take the time? "What's with the 'should's? Do you feel bad afterward? Or as though you plan that this will be it so you think you know what you're going to do... and he's just too tempting in the moment?" "I feel self-conscious after. It's not necessarily bad, just..." Lys hesitates, "I'm not the most comfortable with that kind of introspection, you know? Like, there's thinking about things and life, and then there's obsessing over what you did or didn't do and what I maybe should've done differently. It's as bad as when I think about a day of wingleading. But I expect it with wingleading. It surprises me every time with this." She sets her plate back on the table and wipes her hands on her napkin. "I don't even think it's that, really. Just that it's all so new, and it feels like I shouldn't go from kissing to fucking without-- I don't know, time?" She seems uncertain. Tela shudders just a ittle, sympatheticaly: ugh, obsessing. "Maybe," she hesitates, "when you catch yourself doing it, remind yourself that it's okay to, but nicer not to? Think of it like... oh, like embroidery iterations. You sew one, and you figure out what you like about it and what you don't, and the next one is different or just exactly the same," though that might be just her, "except of course you don't have a living cloth that you're sewing on, then. Or dancing? Different songs are fun to dance to, and sometimes the harpers play them differently, or you're at a different Gather and there comes that song again, and as long as you're not sick of it, it's fun. But anyway, if it feels like you 'shouldn't,' that's one thing, but make sure it's not somebody else's voice in your head saying 'Nice girls don't' or, or whatever that is people come up with. Are you on tea?" "Like embroidery iterations," Lys repeats with an amused look. "That reminds me-- oh, but I've been on tea for turns, in case." Totally an afterthought and back to the reminded topic: "Do you think I could trade you some colors? This greenrider guy I met made me new boots and I want to do something nice for him in return. I was thinking maybe something men don't think about. Like a sachet for his sock drawer or something? Unless you have better ideas." The darker blonde seems all out. "Like embroidery iterations," Lys repeats with an amused look. "That reminds me-- oh, but I've been on tea for turns, in case." Totally an afterthought and back to the reminded topic: "Do you think I could trade you some colors? This greenrider guy I met made me new boots and I want to do something nice for him in return. I was thinking maybe something men don't think about. Like a sachet for his sock drawer or something? Unless you have better ideas." The darker blonde seems all out. Turns. Without actual-- Tela is all dimples, the more so from everything she's not saying before she has to turn her attention to boots. "He just made you new boots? And they fit? Just like that? Lys." Maybe that's the real greenrider trait: free toys. "Tell me all about it, and of course I'll help; I'm sure he wouldn't think of a sachet for his socks, not if it took him until the end of the Interval, unless he is especially creative. Tell me more," might let the discussion of ideas and colors go on and on, unless the weyrling wingleader is particularly judicious with her time. |
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