Logs:Grief
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| RL Date: 4 December, 2014 |
| Who: K'del |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: K'del does not take Iskiveth's death all that well. |
| Where: High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 9 - 12, Month 6, Turn 36 |
| Mentions: Teris/Mentions |
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| It hit him like he imagined it would feel to be hit by Cadejoth, with all his bulk. It him him hard and deep, and then harder still; it hit him where it hurt. The first night, he'd retreated to the bottle. He'd been supposed to go to Southern, but he couldn't. Teris was dead, and it didn't matter that he'd never been in love with her, she was still a part of his history; he needed to be home, here, where he'd known her. A lifetime ago, and yet... he remembered it all. He drank until he passed out. The hangover hung over him for all of the next day; it seeped through everything, left him drowning in his own sweat, remorse, and bitter sorrow. He kept to his weyr; it was easier to stay away. It was only when he emerged, finally, that he found out what was really going on: that Teris was - against all reason and logic - being kept alive. That just made it ten times worse. He was - and he knew he was - running away. It was the least leader-y thing he could possibly have done, and he could not bring himself to care. He should've gone to the infirmary; he couldn't. He couldn't see Teris like that. It was better to remember her as she had been; as she'd been when they knew each other, when they were... friends? If they had been. No, they had been. He knew, too, that if he did see her, he'd rush in there, haul her over his shoulder, and damn the healers. He'd take her between himself. Was it worse, that part of him didn't want to do that because he didn't want to deal with potential repercussions? Better if someone else did it; plausible deniability, if it came to that. If the healers took issue. That was bullshit, too. In the end, the truth was that he was putting himself - his own feelings - ahead of everyone else's, even Teris', and he hated himself for it. He didn't want to see her like this. He couldn't bear it. "She should've just been allowed to die," he told Cadejoth, one hand flat upon the bronze's side. They were high above the mountain ranges; as far from anywhere as he could get. How could anyone force a person to live without their other half? On the third day, he forced himself back. The show had to go on. The Weyr did. He did. |
Comments
Edyis (15:14, 2 December 2014 (EST)) said...
Poor K'del, just can't win for losing.
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