Logs:Never Enough Time
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| RL Date: 13 November, 2012 |
| Who: Delifa, Delvana, Madilla |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: Delifa's illness has progressed too far to allow her to keep working. Changes must be made. |
| Where: High Reaches |
| When: Day 24, Month 3, Turn 30 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Azaylia/Mentions, Brieli/Mentions, Iolene/Mentions |
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| They were supposed to have had more time. A turn or more, Delifa had told her, that day when it had all been laid out. Plenty of time. As if even five turns, ten turns, would be enough. Selfishly, Madilla wanted her mentor to be there forever, for all that she knew all too well that there was pain the other woman wasn't admitting to, and that when the time came it would in some ways be a relief. But in the midst of everything else, it hurt. She'd hide to bite back her tears when Delifa sat her down that morning, and laid it out. "I can't keep working," she'd said. "I've talked to the Hall, and they just don't think I'm strong enough. They want me to go somewhere warm. It might give me more time." It wasn't enough time. Madilla knew, could see, how little time it really was. How tired and old and small her mentor seemed, for all that she was only fifty-one. Going south might give her some time, some space, and yet... "We've known this day would come, Madilla," she said, wrapping too-thin arms around her mentee's shoulders and holding tight. "You're as ready as you can ever be, I promise. I know the timing isn't... I know it's not good. But you're going to do beautifully." For her mentor's sake - for her friend's sake - Madilla hid her tears. "I'll make you proud," she told her. "I'll try." "Oh, Madilla. I'm already proud. How could I not be?" She leaned on L'van as he escorted her out to Viarisuth; Delvana trailed behind then, pale-faced and quiet. They were all going: L'van had requested the transfer to Southern, and though he might - in time - return, there was no guarantee. It didn't seem right to split the family, not when it would be their last chance to be together. Madilla grabbed Delvana's hand, squeezing it within her own, and was rewarded by a tiny smile. "Will you come and visit us, Aunty Dilly? You will, won't you? Please?" It was hard to believe that the tiny baby Madilla had held - had helped deliver - was so big, now. Too big to be held, but not too big to be hugged. Madilla did that, now. "Of course I will," she murmured into her adopted niece's hair. "You know I will. As often as I can. With Lily and Dee, too." Vana pulled back, trying to keep her smile from wavering. "I don't want to go," she admitted. "I want to stay here with my friends. I know we need to. For Mama. I know. I wish she could just get better." "Me too," said Madilla, fighting the urge to cry. "Me too." She watched until they were out of sight: L'van with his arms around Delifa, Delvana clutching on to her father from behind. But she still couldn't cry: there was work to be done. Delifa's office was empty of all of the personal touches that had made it hers. Madilla had sat at this desk, before - on both sides of the desk - but there was something different, now, about sitting at it. There'd never been any question that it would become hers. She wasn't the oldest of the healers, nor the most experienced, but she'd been Delifa's chosen successor, and none of the others had argued with that. Madilla had no idea if there was disappointment amongst her colleagues; she rather suspected she'd find out, now, over the weeks and months that would follow. She didn't know how she was going to manage. There would be no Delifa to ask advice from - no one to sit at her right hand and help. She was friendly with her colleagues, and enjoyed working with them, but none of them could be what she needed. She had dreamed about another baby. Dilan was three, now, after all. That dream would now need to be put aside. She couldn't afford the additional stresses that a pregnancy and new baby would incur, and without the childcare on offer from Delifa's niece... she could not imagine turning over a new baby to the nurseries, no matter how much she appreciated their efforts. For the foreseeable future, she would have to put the Infirmary first. Especially, she reminded herself, with that sad, sick feeling in her stomach, given everything else that was going on. The Infirmary needed her. The Weyr needed her. It didn't matter if she wasn't sure that she could do it. It was her duty. Brieli and Azaylia had picked up a far greater burden, she reminded herself, and with far less experience. If they could do that, then she could do this. Her mentor was also being taken from her too soon, but at least she had warning. Time to prepare. If she hadn't prepared herself well enough, well, that was her own fault. Her heart ached for them, even as it resolved itself. She could do this. She had to do this. There were no other options. |
Comments
Comments on "Logs:Never Enough Time"Azaylia (Dragonshy) left a comment on Wed, 14 Nov 2012 02:29:08 GMT.
And that's why Madilla is her hero~ *_*
Honestly though, getting a glimpse at what she's dealing with on top of what the rest of the weyr is going through... poor Madilla.
Madilla (K'del) left a comment on Wed, 14 Nov 2012 03:00:06 GMT.
I find that really funny, because I bet Madilla doesn't see herself as much of a hero right now! She admires Azaylia (though granted, I suspect there's a lot she doesn't know about, with how Aza is dealing).
Brieli (Brieli) left a comment on Wed, 14 Nov 2012 04:30:26 GMT.
SO MUCH CHANGE
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