Logs:A Gentle Start
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| RL Date: 17 August, 2015 |
| Who: Hattie, E'dre |
| Involves: Fort Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: Acting Weyrleaders lay out some expectations and make some plans. |
| When: Day 24, Month 7, Turn 38 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Lilah/Mentions, X'vin/Mentions, Dee/Mentions, N'muir/Mentions, Ebeny/Mentions |
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| Rather than trust his dragon to relay a message to Hattie, knowing Wroth's tendency to be rude for the sake of enjoyment, a note was delivered to the Weyrwoman early in the morning requesting a meeting with her after the midday meal. E'dre's finishing off what's left of a lunch behind the Weyrleader's desk as he flips through a stack of reports from that morning. He shakes his head over one, turns to his left and makes a brief note on another, and then flips to read another. The office door is open, signaling his availability, but otherwise he remains focused on the tasks at hand. Most of Hattie's morning has been spent in the caverns, attending meeting after meeting, and whether she's bothered to stop for any lunch yet is debatable, given that she's already beginning to look a little weary and unkempt only halfway through the day. She's on time when she reaches the ledge, though she's brought Harriet with her, the baby asleep in a soft sling that keeps her close to her mother's heart. "Weyrleader," she greets just a bit dryly, her pose one that has her leaning against the doorframe to look in on E'dre and around at the weyr. E'dre looks up from the desk at Hattie's dry greeting, a twitch of a smirk at the corner of his lips a response to her. "Come, sit," he tells her, indicating the chair in front of him. He pauses, thinking better of that and rises. "Here, this chairs the most comfortable. Have you eaten?" he queries, politely eying her and noting her weariness. "I've got a meatroll left. It's yours." He slides out from behind the desk and moves to pour Hattie some tea. "It's gone cold by now, but it's something," he remarks as he moves to set it down on the desk. "Now that you're up and helping, I wanted to discuss what limitations you may need enforced. I don't want the Weyr placing too much demand on you right now." He slides into the chair in front of the desk and watches Hattie. Hattie seems halfway to protest about any number of things, but it all happens so quickly that she doesn't manage to put the first bit of her argument together before needing more, and so she sits where she's told and accepts lunch and tea all without saying a word but for a late, "Thank you," as she settles down. "I don't need limitations enforced," the goldrider insists near immediately. "What I can do, I will do, and what I can't, I won't. I intended on being up and around much sooner, but after all but keeling over the day after she was born, I had healers and N'muir pinning me down. I'm sorry you've had to do so much on your own." Yet, after that refusal of limitations, she declares, "I won't leave Harriet in the nursery all day." E'dre's flash of concern at her commentary is not shaken off when he shakes his head in an attempt to do so. "I wish you didn't make light of your situation," he murmurs, "and I would've kept on longer if needed. The Weyr, surprisingly, did not burn down around me." He lifts a hand to scrub through his hair and then rubs at the back of his neck briefly. "Why should you leave her? It makes sense she'd stay with you," he answers that declaration with surprise. "Has it been suggested you should hide the fact you are a new mother?" He blinks and then tightens his fingers on the armrest of the chair. "People of this Weyr better learn to be more accommodating." He shakes his head and leans back in the chair, "And learn to fall in line when it's requested of them." "I'm not making light of it," Hattie murmurs, glancing down at her sleeping child. "But needs must. Is this what I expected to happen? No. If I'm honest, my head's still half-full of what I could or should have done so far as my knot goes, so I'm sorry if I get sharp sometimes, but I don't really know whether I feel guilty or sick or sad or angry of a moment right now." She shakes her head and looks up again. "It's not that anyone's suggested anything, it's... I gave up my knot so I would be there for her and my family. I have expectations for myself, but I mean what I say. What I can't do immediately will have to wait. Sometimes... I'm going to be selfish." And yet: "But I'll do anything I can to help you and I do want to work with you." Sadness flickers across E'dre's face and he turns to avoid eye-contact with Hattie. "Ben and I sent the girls to stay with family for now," he informs her, keeping his voice low and as steadily matter-of-fact as he can. "I can understand why you chose to do what you did with your knot in the first place." He takes a moment, staring at a wall unblinkingly, before he returns his somber expression to Hattie. "It took us some turns to be able to feel relief when working with each other, hm? I'm glad you were able to make your sacrifices to be able to take the knot once more. We," he pauses, shakes his head and clarifies, "I need your help." He taps his fingers on his knees a few times, considering her as he thinks. "I haven't figured out all Lilah was actively doing.. but she had X'vin travel with her to meet Holders without me, and his wing has been doing extra for Holds as well. I haven't done anything yet and wasn't sure I was going to when Lilah was involved but now? I can't tolerate it. Or I should say I don't want to." It's easier that he doesn't look at her, especially since Hattie tries to hide her guilt by staring at some random spot on the wall behind him. "I'm sorry," she says softly, no less sincere for the quiet of her voice. "But the sooner we get things back in order around here, the sooner you might be able to bring them back?" It's as much question as proposition and answer to E'dre's request for help. She listens, thoughtful, and her eventual answer is slow and measured. "...If she'd chosen him as her top candidate for Weyrleader, or he had chosen her as a likely chance for being Weyrleader, it's obvious what she - they - were doing," she supposes. "Flint doing more for the Holds isn't necessarily a bad thing unless he's selling his riders and Weyr resources for a knot he wants. If he's having Flint voice what they're doing as something outside your jurisdiction... then it's a problem more focused on your leadership." E'dre steeples his fingers together, raises his two pointer-fingers to rest against each other and presses them against his lips in thought as he listens to Hattie's reply. "I suppose I cannot justify it as outright mutiny or disobedience. You know my thoughts on the Holders. Focusing additional energy on a select few seems like a bid for political backing. It sits sourly in my stomach." He sighs, lowering his hands fully to his lap. He allows himself to slouch and the exhaustion of long days settles on his features as he looks to her. "I don't imagine it's worth the fight though, is it? I just have to bite my tongue." He smiles at her, a weak enough attempt at lightening his mood that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "What did I call you here for? To whine? Ebeny would be disgusted with me right now." "It is a bid for political backing," Hattie agrees. "Though it may mean little when a queen rises. They can back X'vin all they want now, but he's not the one making the decisions. He doesn't decide his own fate, any more than you or I can decide ours, now." She glances down at Harriet again and settles a gentle hand against her. "It's worth the fight if it makes you look bad or the Weyr look weak or gullible. Whether it does either... we don't know just yet." E'dre's smile is returned more or less in kind, as she finally reaches for the cold tea and drinks, watching him over the rim of the mug. "I imagine your weyrmate is annoyed that I have my children and you don't have yours at the moment," she says candidly. "So, let's do what we can to smooth over what we can. When Taeliyth can fly distances, I'll need to take Dee to the Holds. In the meantime, we're technically new leaders. You want them to respect and acknowledge you? We go to the Holds. Starting tomorrow." "Ebeny isn't like that," E'dre assures Hattie, "Our decision wasn't made lightly. Our girls are not newborns. And it was a sound decision for both of us since neither of us are in a position to step down from our knots. It's not as if we banished them to Southern." Mention of Southern and the memories that it stirs gives E'dre pause. "I'm so tired these days," he admits to her, scrubbing a hand down his face, "that I catch myself obsessing over past things." He shifts his focus on Hattie and he sits up. "You're right," he agrees, "I should've been more proactive about that since I first took over. Are you sure," he shakes his head, waving his hand to signal he isn't going to ask the question. "You let me know what time and what schedule for visitation works for you. I'll work around your needs." "A sound decision, but I'm not ignorant to the fact that it must hurt." Whether mirroring him or otherwise, Hattie sits up a little straighter in her seat. "You need sleep," she decides, her voice one that doesn't invite argument. "You should sleep. Now. Go home and get some rest. I don't foresee anything too dramatic happening in the next few hours." A mouthful or more of tea, then she carefully eases up from her seat. "We could start with Ruatha River. With any luck, they'll ask me about Harriet and they might tease you, but they'll know who you are and there shouldn't be too much by way of politics. A gentle start." She reaches out to collect up the meatroll offered earlier. "For both of us," she adds. "Sleep," is nearly a plea. "I'm kidnapping the last of your lunch. You did say." "And I meant what I said," E'dre agrees as he rises shortly after she announces her plan for sleep. "I won't argue with you. I've learned that to be a fruitless venture turns ago." He moves away from the chair and pauses near the back of it, resting his hand for a moment on it as he looks to Hattie. "Thank you," he offers, meaning more than those two words but that is all he can manage. He doesn't bother with anything else as he turns and heads out of the office and towards his own weyr. A few hours of sleep will be attempted and whether or not it's enough to refresh him, his later meetings that day aren't met with the same amount of exhaustion he has been feeling of late. It's a start in the right direction. |
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