Logs:Blood Ties
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| RL Date: 7 May, 2013 |
| Who: Devaki, Madilla |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr, High Reaches Hold |
| Type: Log |
| What: After more than five turns, Madilla comes clean: no more secrets. It's less awful than her imagination may have conjured. |
| Where: Cove, High Reaches Hold |
| When: Day 20, Month 9, Turn 31 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Aishani/Mentions, Braeden/Mentions, Dilan/Mentions, Issedi/Mentions, Lilabet/Mentions, Seani/Mentions, Vinien/Mentions, Yuliye/Mentions |
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| Cove, High Reaches Hold Waves pound the rocky coastline night and day along the edges of this small cove, just a short walk from the main hold. Standing watch, the tall column of the lighthouse stretches high into the sky above the beach its rosy stones sparkling faintly when the sun's rays catch just right. The beach stretches as far as the eye can see, eternally washed by the salty sea as it relentlessly carves pockets and crags out of the scattered boulders and spiny ridges of Reaches' shores. Heavy, driving rain makes everything a wet and muddy mess today. It's been a chilly, wet sort of day at High Reaches -- both the Weyr, and the Hold. By late afternoon the rain has faded by the ground is still muddy and slippery underfoot, particularly out by the cove. Unfortunately for Madilla, this is where one of the Hold's guards directs her when she inquires after the whereabouts of Devaki, along with a gruffly chuckled, "You're lucky you caught him, he's just returned." By the water, the wind is particularly biting, though some of the taller rock formations here and there provide shelter on the way down to the beach. Devaki is standing on the shoreline watching the sea, dressed in a thick fur coat suitable both for the cold of Between, and for the chilly beach weather. His lack of shoes is probably less so, however -- his boots are sitting on a rock a few paces up the beach where they'll avoid the incoming spray of the waves. Madilla's formal attire - formal in a business sense rather than in a fancy occasion kind of sense - is really designed to be worn without a coat, which rather diminishes the effect. Walking on a beach isn't likely to help much, either, but the healer tries: tries to look authoritative and official, tries not to look terrified and uncertain. She's still quite some distance away when Devaki first comes into view, and it's there that she pauses, swallowing hard several times before she finally continues on her way. The wind, and the rush and roll of the waves, covers the sound of her approach for a while, but it can't do so forever: crunch, crunch, crunch, goes the sand underfoot. The first crunch to be heard earns a tensing of posture, the second an audible sigh, and the third, a tired breath: "You want to talk about what happened at Telgar; I know. I'll be in in a moment." Devaki takes a couple of steps forward into the ocean, the water swirling around his ankles and brushing the edge of his cloak, unnoticed, and he stays that way for a moment, until the lack of retreat of who he probably expected isn't obeyed. That, he's not used to, and it turns his gaze with a frown over his shoulder, only for eyes to widen when he sees who it is. Warmth creeps across his expression slowly -- like he's evaluating her presence, her clothes, and then finally her expression. "Maddy," he says, surprise obvious in his voice. "What are you... why... it's good to see you," he finally settles on, with a smile, stepping away from the water and towards her -- bare feet certain on the uneven ground -- stretching a hand towards her as he approaches to offer her additional balance. "... Telgar?" The question escapes Madilla's mouth before she can stop herself, even if she's so quick to shake her head, dismissing it. Her cheeks colour as she's recognised, an awkward stiffness obvious, though it doesn't stop her from taking that offered hand. She is certainly less comfortable, here, but there's more to it than that. "I have to talk to you." Whether or not it's good to see him will have to go unsaid: she has to blurt that out instead. "It's something I should have said-- I'm sorry." It's very likely that Devaki misreads the color in Madilla's cheeks as something else, given he releases her hand in order to shrug out of his fur coat and moves to settle it around the healer's shoulders. The smile slips briefly; he's looking past her at a figure further up near the lighthouse, and there's the faintest shake of his head, almost imperceptible. "Did you change your mind?" he asks, with a sudden smile that returns. "You're going to come to the Hold? I'd have written the Healer Hall if I'd thought you'd consider it..." The coat only seems to make Madilla's expression more wretched-- that, and the conclusion he reaches. She has to shake her head, dropping her gaze towards the sand below her feet. "No," she says, quietly, not much above a whisper. "No, it's not that. It's--" She's been planning for this meeting for all these months, and yet, here she is, unable to figure out how to actually come out and say it. Finally: "Lily said she saw you, at the hatching. Said you saw us. And then Aishani--" Madilla swallows. "I knew I had to tell you. Should have told you a long time ago. It was just-- you saw three of us." The healer's expression evokes a frown from Devaki. "We could go inside?" he offers, half turning to cast about for his discarded boots. "I saw her," he confirms, with a fond smile for the girl. "I've missed her; I wasn't sure that she remembered me or not." Straightening with his boots in hand, he turns his full attention back to Madilla, now, going quiet, cocking his head and regarding her quizzically. "No." She may not be making a whole lot of sense on anything else, but of that much, Madilla is sure. "No, we can stay here. We should. It's better." Finally, she lifts her gaze again, all the better to meet his with it. She looks bereft-- apologetic, but also terrified. It's very unlike her (these days, at least, and even when he knew her). "I have a son. He's four." She waits, but only for a second or two, not long enough to let him respond. "He's yours." Turns of practice -- both on the Island, and in his current role, have enabled him to conceal any traces of 'humoring the distraught woman'; he's still watching her evenly. At her first words, he doesn't seem overly surprised: "I wondered. He looked like you." But her latter words, spoken so quickly, doesn't sink in quite so fast. He stares down at her, blue eyes even and schooled. The fact that he's holding his breath is likely greater indication of his shock than his expression, drawing the silence out, until finally: "Are you sure? Yes, of course you are -- or you would've have come." He swallows, and he's looking away from her to the sea; perhaps not quite fast enough to hide the anguish. Not fast enough, no. If he were looking at her, he'd see the moment she sees it: her own misery abruptly tenfold. Her hands twist around each other again, before one breaks away, as though she'd like to reach it up to offer comfort-- but it's comfort she doesn't dare offer, not here, not now. "I'm sorry," she says. "If I'd been able to tell you at the time--" She breaks off, shaking her head. He's perfectly still, looking at the sea, as if that's easier than looking at her for the moment. Devaki's voice is -- mostly -- deliberately neutral. "Does he know?" Madilla lets a long, low breath escape. "No," she says. "It helps that Lily doesn't have a father, either. He's never really asked. I didn't... I've never known what I would say, if he did." There's pleading in her voice, and in the gaze she aims at him; her eyes have filled with tears, even if none of them are falling, just yet. "He's my son. I'd like to know him; him to know me. He has my Blood." Surely Devaki must realize how this sounds, because it makes him -- finally -- turn back from the sea to look at her. He's not immune to near-tears, and it makes him pause. He stretches out a hand to brush against her chin, with the intention of meeting her gaze. His is clouded; he's struggling to maintain an equilibrium, and there's a raw sense of emotion there, held in check. "You could have told me when I was at the Weyr. What are you afraid of, Maddy?" Her cheek is cold, and one of those tears does fall, right then and there, as his hand touches her skin. But Madilla takes in a deep, careful breath, and then lets it go in order to say, "I'm afraid of what it means for him. You always hear about Blooded bastards," the word makes her voice, which had been even, crack, "and how they never belong. I don't want my son to grow up thinking he's less than your other children, because his mother isn't a lady. Because he doesn't have all the prospects they do." His hand hovers near, his thumb tracing that tear, his gaze focusing on that point. "I, my family... my entire people were denied our Blood rights. I would never deny a child of mine his rights, should he wish them. But--" he glances up at the Hold proper, distant -- but the first flicker of emotion sneaking through, now -- uncertainty and fear in his distracted gaze. "He will not be my heir. You understand that." "No." Hasty, now, though Madilla avoids the head-shake that would dislodge his hand. "I wouldn't want him to be. No. But that's just it-- what can he be? I don't want to be the one who upsets your wife. And I don't want him to feel-- I don't want to deny him anything. I don't want to deny you. I just don't know what-- or how-- do you see?" Finally, his gaze draws back towards her at her vehement tone. "I'll tell Issedi," Devaki says. "It was before I met her; she'll understand." He might be sleeping on the floor for the rest of her pregnancy, but-- he has other things on his mind, right now. With an exhale, the exile lord leans towards the healer, lips brushing against her other cheek. "We have a son," he says, in a kind of marvelling whisper, something genuinely excited in his voice, now. Madilla's expression suggests that she's not entirely sure how understanding she expects Issedi to be, but she won't argue it. She's quite still as he leans in, and at the brush of his lips, though she doesn't pull away. Mostly, even if he can't see it given their proximity, she seems surprised. "We have a son," she agrees, her voice as soft as his. "Dilan. He... looks like you." "Dilan," Devaki echoes, a smile audible in his voice even before he pulls back enough to see her expression. "We'll make it work, Maddy. I promise." His hand drops from her cheek, seeking her fingers to squeeze them; his delight is practically irrepressible. "Maybe he and Lily could come and stay at the Hold for a couple of days now and then, if you're comfortable with it. I'd like him to know both sides of his heritage -- and he wouldn't feel as anxious if he had his big sister by his side." Madilla lets her fingers be squeezed, and even squeezes Devaki's back in return, drawing a smile onto her face; his excitement is too much to resist. Her shoulders are relaxing, too, as some of the tension begins to drain from them. Some of it. "I-- if Issedi doesn't object," she says, cautiously. "I know you have a lot of catching up to do. I just-- don't want to upset her. Or him. It's going to be a lot for him. And Lily. Can we take it slowly?" "Isse loves children." Clearly Devaki isn't as cautious as Madilla is about his wife's reaction; could be he's in for a rude awakening. Her request to take it slowly leeches some of the excitement out of the islander's expression, but a faint smile still lingers. "Okay. Perhaps next time you can bring them with you; they can help the Hold children collect the last of the apples from the orchards and make cider with it." For that, Madilla can only look gently, but sincerely, apologetic. "He's shy. It takes him a little while to warm up to people, but he has a big heart. Your idea of having Lily come too is a good one, though-- she's his idol." She's nodding, too, and her smile is warmer, now. "I'll do that. Of course. I'm sure they would enjoy it, both of them." Abruptly, her mouth twists: still smiling, but rather more thoughtful. "Dee has wished for another sibling for a while, now. I suppose he really does have one" If it's obvious from her expression that she still worries about what that relationship will mean-- well, she won't say it, not this time. Not now. "He must get that from you," Devaki says with a teasing smile, of Dilan's shyness. "He'll have two siblings, soon," the blond corrects, with a smile that is partly proud, partly excited. "But yes; Vini will love the idea of an older brother. And step sister." He doesn't seem as worried about the relationship, as he says easily, "They're family. Blood." "Two," says Madilla, and this time, she sounds unreservedly pleased; she's quick, now, to push aside any indication of her remaining concerns. "Congratulations, Devaki. That's wonderful-- you must both be very pleased. I remember how much you wanted children." Her mouth opens again, to say something else; she pauses. Then, "Lady Yuliye hasn't--?" The answer seems to matter, not quite managing to be as idle a question as she may have intended it to be. "It is wonderful," Devaki agrees, brimming with barely concealed delight. "Isse's hoping for a girl; I'm hoping for a brother for Vini. Or..." he pauses to consider, before flashing Madilla a smile. "I suppose he already has a brother." He's aware of her pause, and it earns a tip of head, before the latter earns a somewhat thin-lipped smile. "Not yet." That's the politically correct, well-practiced response he's probably said plenty of times recently. "We should... I'd like to keep it quiet for a little while, if we could. Just until I can find the right time to break it to Isse, you understand." And totally not because of political machinations; no. What Madilla also can't hide is her reaction to Yuliye's situation: one part presumed sympathy for the other woman, another part deep, and somewhat uncomfortable, thought. It matters to the healer, despite the fact that she's quick to address the rest of his words, instead. Pink-cheeked, she admits, "You're the first person I've told outright, as such." Which doesn't mean she's the only person who knows. "I won't say anything. I don't even know how to. After all this time. Or even at the time. There are still those at the Weyr who blame you for Seani." Devaki very deliberately avoids further conversation of Yuliye; perhaps because he's focused on Madilla's words, a faint, but noticeable exhale as she admits she's the only one who knows. The exile lord visibly stiffens at the latter; presumably at the accusations of murder. That's probably why his voice is tight as he says, "I heard them; it was hard not to. But you know otherwise." A statement, not a question. "Do Lily and... and Dee?" "I do," confirms Madilla, quietly. "If you had been there, I would have come forward to say as much." But he wasn't. Green eyes consider him, watchful. "Dee's too young to understand what people say about you. You don't mean anything to him, as a person." She sounds apologetic. "Yet. You will. Lily-- she didn't put it together until after she saw you at the hatching. When she remembered you. She knows that you would never hurt anyone, and that you were our friend, and with us that day, and that other people are just sad and want someone to blame." A slight shake of Devaki's head seems intended to indicate a lack of blame. "I wasn't there. I used the chaos of so many strangers leaving the Weyr to make my leave too; the Weyrleaders hadn't lifted the ban on us leaving, yet. They didn't want to risk--" he stops abruptly, and doesn't bother even pretending like he cut himself short. Instead, he nods to her comment of Dee being too young; it's her comment of Lily understanding that makes the Blood release his breath and smile. "I'm glad she remembers me." Wiggling his toes against the sand, "Do you remember that day when we got our first chance to talk properly, out in the snow? As I recall we talked of children and marriage." The notion, in hindsight, of having that conversation with her seems to amuse him. Madilla's nod is timed to answer his explanations of why he left, though there's a half second of delay that hints to a question unasked. She knows he didn't kill Seani, and in the end, that's probably enough. Instead; "Yes, I remember that. You implied you would marry me, if only I'd been Blooded." She can laugh about that, now, and shake her head. "And here you are, married to the sister of a Lord. I suppose, for now, your so-- Vinien is Lord Braeden's heir, even. How things change." "I would have," Devaki says, with a (mostly) straight face, only a twitching at the corner of his lips. "If I'd known about Dilan..." but it's probably best for all concerned that he doesn't finish that thought. Instead, still keeping hold of Madilla's hand, he starts to lead her along the shore, a slow circle up towards the more stable path. He keeps to her left, mostly blocking the chill wind that still rides in over the water, his expression falling into a pleasant, practiced sort of neutral at her latter words. "I suppose he would be," he says, like he's never given it much thought. "At least, until my brother in law has a child of his own." But he doubts that: and he makes it obvious in the tone of his voice that he does. Mostly straight face or not, Madilla doesn't seem to entirely believe Devaki on that front, and, anyway: "I wouldn't have let you," she says. Matching his stride as they walk, she turns her head to regard him, once again showing a certain amount of dubiousness in reply to his words, as if to say 'I know you better than that'. Still, her answer is neutral enough: "Until then, of course." More genuine is her, "It must be so difficult for them. I remember Lady Yuliye from when she was at the Weyr. She may not be the most... maternal of women, but I liked her." There's a quick lift-and-drop of one shoulder, as if Madilla not allowing him is a minor hurdle; he's grinning, now. "Lady Yuliye makes it difficult not to like her," Devaki adds, which is pretty much what the healer said, only it's deliberately rephrased. But he doesn't linger overly long on the High Reaches Hold lady; instead, he says, "Won't you come in and have something warm before you go? We can sneak in through the kitchen, I can thaw my feet -- Hold living has made me soft. I used to be able to walk on snow in bare feet." For short periods, anyway. That shoulder makes Madilla laugh and shake her head. Yuliye-- well, she smiles, breathing out something akin to a snort, though it's far too light to actually be one: just an exhale, somewhere short of a laugh. "I-- well, yes, if you like. I suspect my ride is waiting inside, in any case, though I can't stay too long. You could just wear your shoes, you know. Or do you deliberately cultivate the 'wild exile' persona?" Wild exile. That makes Devaki laugh. "No; that part of my life makes other Blooded unaccountably nervous. As much as I'd like to exploit that--" joking or serious, hard to tell, "--it seems best to put them at their ease. Still. One should never forget one's roots." He glances over his shoulder, briefly, at the sea, then back to the healer at his side. "You should take my coat with you; it'll be cold on the way back, and I have others." "I suppose so. They do have a reputation for being... traditional." Madilla's thoughts on the subject are hesitant, likely because unless things have changed dramatically in the past few turns, she's had little enough exposure to the Bloods. "Roots are important. Family. I'm--" The way she adjusts his coat around her shoulders must be intended to count for a thanks you, along with her nod, because the focus of her thoughts is, instead, on saying: "Thank you for being so-- understanding. About everything. I hope we can-- make this work." Devaki, for his part, doesn't hope; he knows: "We'll make it work," he says, certain. "Family is important. I'd like to be a father to Dilan. And Lily, if she wants." A moment's hesitation as he guides them towards the kitchen door. It's open, and the heat from within spills out towards them as he pauses. "Are you... are you happy, Maddy?" Madilla may not yet be ready to share Devaki's confidence, but she seems pleased by it, smiling immediately, and acknowledging his words with a nod. His question, however, leaves her surprised; it takes her several seconds to come up with an answer, though that answer seems sure enough. "Yes," she says. "I'm happy. I have work I love, two wonderful children. I've been seeing someone. I'm happy." Her head tilts, just slightly, as she studies Devaki's expression in return. "Are you? Is all of this what you'd hoped it would be?" It might be difficult to tell if it's deliberate or unconscious that Devaki echoes her phrasing almost precisely: "I have work I love, I have... two, soon to be three wonderful children. I'm married to a lovely woman, and my people are... they have a home, and they're safe. That's more than I hoped for, more than I dreamed of on the island." He's smiling, and it's fuelled by a genuine sentiment, even if it might not be read strictly as 'happy'. "I smell fresh klah. Shall we see if you can sneak a cup in before your ride notices you're back?" He gestures, over grandly, waiting for her to precede him. The way Madilla's gaze lingers several seconds after Devaki's gesture could well imply that she's taken note of his failure to actually use the word 'happy'; certainly, there's something thoughtful and considering in her expression. A moment later, however, she smiles, saying, "I'm glad," in a quiet, earnest voice, as she steps through the door, and into the kitchen. "I'm sure we can manage it. I'll hide behind you, if I need to--!" Besides, not even a High Reaches rider would hassle someone in Devaki's company here. It'd be hard for someone like Devaki to miss the lingering look, but he doesn't try to explain further, or embellish; he just smiles, a little more wryly now, as if knowing she knows. As he paces in behind her: "You could always hide in the cabinets underneath the sink; Vini likes to sneak in there sometimes and listen to the kitchen staff." Devaki seems to find that amusing; it wouldn't be hard to guess that his wife finds it rather less so. Still, they definitely won't be bothered, by rider or by kitchen staff, and it's only after Madilla has the insisted mug of klah that he escorts her back into the care of her ride. The Blood notes, too, the Iceberg patch on the rider's shoulder, and it's with a measured look and a respectful nod to the man that he parts ways. Laughing, "Do you really want my two to give him more bad habits?" Madilla's tease is warm, and quickly, firmly, moves the conversation more permanently about subjects that might tend towards the bittersweet, in as long as it lasts. As she leaves, she promises another visit soon, when the time comes. And her ride? If he's cautiously wary of the Blood at first glance, that respectful nod seem to encourage him-- he offers one of his own, before he and his dragon carry Madilla safely off home. |
Comments
Comments on "Logs:Blood Ties"Nicky (Nicky (talk)) left a comment on Wed, 08 May 2013 17:08:21 GMT.
I'm so glad it went well for Madilla. :) Devaki was lovely!
Great scene. ^^
Aishani (Brieli (talk)) left a comment on Wed, 08 May 2013 17:55:12 GMT.
Go Madilla. :)
Ceawlin (Ceawlin (talk)) left a comment on Wed, 08 May 2013 18:01:59 GMT.
Lovely scene!
Azaylia (Dragonshy (talk)) left a comment on Wed, 08 May 2013 22:09:42 GMT.
Wow. I'm so relieved for Madilla's sake that Devaki was so understanding. That he wants to be there not just for Dilan, but Lily. Still... his own feelings on his family, his duty. It's bittersweet that he seems to have succeeded in what he wanted but it's hard to say if he's happy.
Fantastic scene, you two!
K'zin (K'zin (talk)) left a comment on Thu, 09 May 2013 11:58:11 GMT.
Aw maaaan. That like... pulled on my heart-strings (for Devaki, even!), and then I was anxious and then I was happy. You made me feeeeeel. It was awesome. :D
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