Logs:Endure
| |
|---|
| |
| RL Date: 5 May, 2015 |
| Who: Hattie, Elaruth |
| Involves: Fort Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: It's a time for sleepless nights. |
| Where: Weyrleaders' Weyr, Fort Weyr |
| When: Day 20, Month 9, Turn 37 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: N'muir/Mentions, Tess/Mentions |
  |
| Over a fortnight of forever lending her concentration to try and keep Elaruth centred and steady as pain and anxiety and fractiousness built up and up in the minds of those around her had begun to take its toll. It was a combination of too many things that found Hattie curled beneath the blankets, her back to N'muir, in the early hours of the morning, arms folded over her head that she might make herself as small as possible. She remained as still as she could, conscious of the desire to not wake or worry him, and attempted to just breathe and slow her heart from the gallop it kept adopting, unbidden. She was learning to pause before she spoke, to make sure that she had all of the right words in order and wouldn't be left staring blankly at anyone while she tried to think of what she meant to say. Hidework, she checked more thoroughly, handing some off to Tabitha to scan through, no longer sure of her own ability. If it was only what Tess had suggested it to be, she was trying to make her peace with it, but the niggling doubt would not leave her. What if it was something else? Did she only have downhill to go from here? Would people start patronising her and correcting her mistakes behind her back? They were minor things, in reality. Little slip-ups here and there. But for one who had always defined themselves by their competency, it was humiliating. Even if no-one else noticed, she did. She wasn't losing her mind, her better sense told her. It only felt like it. Add lack of sleep and the stress of worrying about Elaruth's stress; of worrying about the Weyr and the holders and casualty reports - and how many had they been forced to let suffer and lose everything or worse? - and something was soon going to give. When she closed her eyes, the list was never-ending. Names. Tasks. Failures. What ifs. Elaruth. Elaruth. « Hattie. Hattie, come here. » Of course she was awake. Had been from the moment she woke. There was no trying to stay still and quiet and fool her; not when it mattered. Sometimes, she wondered if Elaruth played along and just let her think she was the stronger of the two of them. « Come here, » the little queen called again, voice gentle, a soft wave of mist drifting between them to soothe and push all those other thoughts away, expanding to fill her rider's aching mind. The headache had gone beyond an annoyance now; it felt as if it were part of her. Carefully, Hattie slipped from the bed, mindful not to tug on the sheets, and padded her way across the weyr, past the door and out to the wallow. Was it a trick of the not-light, or did Elaruth seem too pale? « Hush. » She had adopted that word from her queen. She knew that now. Are you-- « Hattie. » The lick of yellow in blue eyes was there, but not dominant. It vanished almost entirely as her rider stepped down into the wallow and folded herself in against her, face pressed into her hide. They healed better together. Hattie wasn't sure why she didn't let herself remember that more often. Because she could, and because she wanted to, Elaruth let the thought that was keeping her going murmur its way between them. « My babies will be kind and beautiful and happy. » She couldn't let her concerns taint that. Perhaps her queen understood that. Hattie exhaled and closed her eyes. Yes, darl. They will be. |
Leave A Comment