Logs:Forty
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| RL Date: 14 July, 2015 |
| Who: Hattie, Nimarie, Elaruth |
| Involves: Fort Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: On her fortieth turnday, Hattie rewrites a list. |
| Where: Weyrleaders' Weyr, Fort Weyr |
| When: Day 8, Month 4, Turn 38 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: N'muir/Mentions, G'dreyn/Mentions, P'draig/Mentions, Nehmet/Mentions, Larentia/Mentions |
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| The paper was fragile now, curled at its edges and ink beginning to fade. Dark eyes darted between the old list and the new, taking in what had been and what was. What had changed and what hadn't. What might never change. What seemed absurd, now. What seemed wiser, but could not now be undone. I am forty turns old. I have been Elaruth's for over nineteen turns. I was Weyrwoman for over fourteen turns. I am one of the blood of Ruatha River. I have six children. Seven, if I let myself hope. One of these children is really my sister's child. She knows this now. I don't think she hates me for it. I have a(nother) weyrmate and a family. I love them. They and Elaruth are all I need. Elaruth is lucky to be alive. I have orders left with the Healers for if she ever goes Between forever without me. I have awful nightmares. I don't think they will ever stop. I used to enjoy flights. Then they terrified me, until N'muir and Bijedth. Now, the thought of Elaruth being caught by another frightens me. I have one firelizard. I had two. One of them was killed by Larentia. I got my own back. Love can be unconditional. I am in love with my Weyrleader. I know he loves me. He is not the Weyrleader, but he was mine. Will always be mine. I have caused a lot of pain. My family would not be better off without me. I left my once-weyrmate for my Weyrleader. I can't imagine having chosen anything else. I think I have two healers for friends. Faranth help me. ...Maybe I could have friends now. Nimarie had still been in her cradle when she had written that first list, the one she had meant to burn. She supposed it was for the better that she had forgotten to, no matter what truths it made her acknowledge of the past decade, or what weaknesses lay before her. Now, the girl herself walked through from the ledge, worrying and smoothing at the skirts of a dress she looked a little awkward in, thanks to her latest growth spurt. Nimarie would be taller than she was, Hattie hazarded. Maybe not by much. "Mum! Come on! You and baby and Elaruth have to come and see what Daddy and me and Tabs and..." she flushed with the embarrassment of getting carried away, "...other people have done for you and Nehmet!" She hoped it was nothing to do with the kitchen. Nimarie and N'muir and food preparation never seemed to go well. Amusing as it was. ...Maybe having annoyed anyone stuck with kitchen duty would be worth it. As she pushed her chair away from her desk, Hattie called back, "You mean we're not taking Kitty with us too?" Nimarie coloured again. Pouted. Girl was going to break hearts, one day. Hopefully not a day in the very near future. "...No. I got yelled at pretty bad the last time I took her everywhere with me." "Really? You never told me that." Her daughter fidgeted awkwardly on the spot. "...Must've forgotten." Hattie made a noise that she felt adequately expressed her doubt. "Yes, well, she might be having babies of her own soon, and you will not be taking those everywhere with you." "Really?" "...Really." "I'm going to be a mum! Or a grandma? Does that mean I'm a grandma?" She wished for nothing more than for N'muir to walk in and hear their daughter say those words decades too early, so she could watch him pale as much as she felt she had. Hattie reached out a hand towards her. "Come on, Nim. Let's go." "...Er... Uncle G'dreyn said you'd need your straps. And that I should borrow one of Daddy's jackets..." "And...?" "And that I shouldn't tell you where we're going until we're in the air." "Nimarie... You know I can't go Between?" "I know," the girl chirped. "It's not far." « They mean well, » Elaruth promised, stirring on the ledge. « She means well. » Do you know where we're going? « ...Yes. » Then why-- « It is more important to her to tell you and be grown-up. You know that. We will be safe, and so will she. I will not let anything happen to us. » Us, meaning more; meaning the baby. They'd flown together only a handful of times since the healers had delivered their verdict. Hattie liked to call it common sense, but knew it as fear. Okay, darl. Okay. "MUM! Stop trying to get Elaruth to tell you. Get your straps." Nimarie was already practically in the wardrobe, pulling at one of N'muir's leather jackets. Did she sound that officious? Was that where Nimarie got it from? "Yes, ma'am..." Wherever she was going, she was going with family. To family. She didn't need to know anything else. |
Comments
Aleudre (12:20, 16 July 2015 (PDT)) said...
<3 <3 <3
Squishy (16:12, 21 July 2015 (PDT)) said...
This was excellent to read, also wonderful to see what changed and what hadn't.
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