Logs:Motivations
| |
|---|
| |
| RL Date: 21 March, 2013 |
| Who: Aishani, D'kan |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: Aishani and D'kan catch up over lunch. |
| Where: Living Cavern, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 19, Month 4, Turn 31 (Interval 10) |
| Weather: The sky is clear today. The air remains cool and damp, but the weather is overall pleasant today. |
  |
| It's lunchtime. The height of lunchtime, in fact, so crowded and busy and gossipy and so on - what a lovely time for Aishani to find herself coming out of the kitchens, presumably to get food with the rest of the Weyr and not with the mostly-not-hating-her kitchen staff. And there's likely not a lot of overt, obvious sort of hate directed the Weyrwoman's way, given she's the Weyrwoman - but she's still the Weyrwoman who took the job, and a Vijay besides, so how can she be trusted? That's likely part of the buzz; part of it's sympathetic; part of it's about something else entirely. By her expression, she can't hear it, doesn't care, just lifts her chin and waits in line. Like she thinks she's like the rest of them. Timing, fate, or a combination of the two has D'kan entering from the bowl right around the same time Aishani is exiting the kitchens. As their destination is the same, the weyrling ends up in the lunch queue right behind the Weyrwoman. To be fair, there might have been some jostling to make that happen, and not on D'kan's part. The person who ends up just behind him is being rather unsubtle with his glares at the back of Aishani's head, but D'kan seems not to care. Feet shuffle, gossips buzz. After a short time, the weyrling finally speaks, trying for a bit of awkward small talk. "With all that snow we go, I suppose it's no wonder this is shaping up to be a wet spring." Even if Shani can feel someone glaring at her, it doesn't really change her stance or her expression, though when their part of the line comes to pick up plates, she does turn to look behind her; D'kan is offered a lovely smile, which makes the look she gives the hater, by contrast, that much more terrifying, flinty and cold. But it's gone when she looks back to the weyrling, as if nothing's happened at all... which might be a little unsettling in and of itself. "Mm. It's always muddy." Her nose wrinkles, she turns back to move down the line, looking over the food critically. "I hope you're well. And Kazavoth. Iesaryth is quite pleased." D'kan picks up a plate and waits for the line to advance far enough that he can start choosing some food. "Is she?" he asks, grinning over at Aishani before he starts the process of taking a little bit of almost everything offered. It's easier than actually making choices. "That's really nice to hear. We're doing all right, though sleep is still an issue. More for me than for Kaz." His hand pauses over the bread rolls, but he decides against them for a change. "How are you and Iesaryth doing now that--" he has to stop to look at the person behind him in the line, after a bump nearly sends him into the Weyrwoman, but the guy refuses to look away from the food. "Now that you've had a couple sevens to get back to normal?" Perhaps unsurprisingly, Aishani is picky. She takes her time in being just generally critical and adjusting things along the way, but she also is slow to choose what she wants. Not so slow that she holds up the line, but she's got to have some decent reflexes to move out of D'kan's way as quickly as she does when that bump comes. As she gets a mug, shooting another sharp, dark look behind the brownrider, "I suppose it would be, but she has little reason to be otherwise. None of them are stupid, she says." A wry smile. Given the line, the jerk behind them, she moves aside once she has everything, but seems inclined to wait for him, echoing, "Normal." A quirk of lips. "We're fine, thank you. There are difficulties, but all were expected. Speaking of which..." A pause. Careful, "I didn't get the chance to ask about your hatching party." There's a question in there, unasked, easy enough to ignore. "Well... none of hers, maybe," D'kan murmurs as he reaches in for a large spoonful of what looks like curry. He doesn't elaborate, however, as the line continues to move. That last has filled his plate, so he's only a moment behind Aishani in stepping out of the queue. He grins back at her for the repeated "Normal", then shrugs. It's all relative, right? At her question, the grin fades, though not completely. He regards her with dark eyes for a moment, then gestured toward the seating area in an unspoken "lead the way". A beat later, he answers, or at least gives her the beginning of an answer in, "It was interesting, to say the least." By his own tone, he's also being a little careful with his words just then. For that quiet comment, Aishani merely arches fine brows a touch, but doesn't ask. It's not for her to go encouraging that sort of thing... even if she might have betrayed a little bit of pleasure for that. As D'kan's grin fades, there's a faint look of apology before she turns away, presumably to find a place to sit. Aiming for a place with seats that's not ridiculously loud, and mostly managing around the edges of the cavern, "I like interesting. We'd be bored otherwise, I think." Glancing over her shoulder to him as she puts her plate down, "I suppose it depends on the kind of interesting, how things went." D'kan takes the seat across the table from Aishani and settles in before looking across at her. "Well. Let's see." His hands pause in the act of setting down his fork, but only for a second. There's an aside of, "Pardon my reach," to the folks nearer the center of the table and D'kan grabs a pitcher of water and two glasses, just in case Aishani wants one. He doesn't continue until he's filled the first glass and motioned toward the Weyrwoman to see if she'd like one. "First, it turned out my parents had caught a ride up from the Hold after all." His hands settle to either side of his plate as he studies its full contents before picking up his fork. Sitting down, Aishani doesn't seem in a huge hurry to start in on her meal, instead crossing long legs, resting elbow on table, chin in hand - listening. She waves off the offer of water, her free hand cupped over her mug, letting the condensation collect there. She doesn't speak until she's certain D'kan's done for the moment, her dark gaze steady on the weyrling's expression. It's not till she's lifted her mug to her lips that she asks over it, "Did you ask for someone to bring them? Or did they just... come of their own accord?" After a moment of poking at the curry with his fork, D'kan glances over at Aishani and lifts one corner of his mouth in a crooked grin. "Early on, I sort of explained the options in a letter." The curry is pushed over onto the rice. "So they'd know what to watch for when the time came. I guess they'd been waiting for it. They, uh..." He trails off into a light laugh and abandons the fork for the glass of water. "I think they were hoping to bring me back with them after the party. Originally, I mean." He takes a drink of water and leans his elbows on the table with the cup in both hands. "Anyway, just little family stuff. Your own bit of news made mine seem such a pittance, after all." He's grinning slightly as he says it, but he also drops the volume a bit. Immediately, "It's not little. Family is important." Aishani pauses, then straightens, looking down into her mug. In a low tone, "Everything I've done was for my family. Don't pretend it's nothing just because..." She shakes her head a little before taking a drink, looking out over the crowded cavern rather than at D'kan directly. "I'm sorry that it was that night. I couldn't think of a better time. Or perhaps I couldn't wait for turnover, or hoped the hatching would buy goodwill. But that was gone before it was over." When she glances back, there's a wry smile for him; she puts down the mug. "I hope... well. They came in the first place. Perhaps that means something." D'kan shrugs off the part about it being that night, then he sets down the glass. "This stuff happened long before your, uh... your statement," he informs her before scooping up a small bite of rice and curry. "It made sense. Everyone was around. That many witnesses, you avoid some of the he-said-she-said stuff. Everyone got to hear the same thing from one source." He stops for another quick bite, intent on digging in now before Kazavoth wakes from his nap. He starts to reach for his glass, but pauses with his fingers just touching the side. Finally, not quite looking at Aishani, he nods, stating, "I hope so," before drinking nearly half the water and turning back to his lunch. "That was the thought. To get it over with." Mostly poking at her food with her fork for the moment, Aishani seems faintly concerned - which is likely as concerned as she ever gets, at least publicly, but it still doesn't quite work for her. That pause of D'kan's is observed with sharp, dark gaze flickering between glass and expression before she turns her attention to her plate. Quietly, "I understand." It doesn't have to be a thing, or go any further than that. He never has to talk about it again, but - she does. Now that D'kan has started eating, he continues doing so almost mechanically. After eighteen days, he definitely knows the importance of eating while he can. He's not sloppy or rude about it, just bizarrely efficient. The mechanical part of it grinds to a halt about halfway through, however, as he stops mid-scoop to look across the table at Aishani again, following her last quiet statement. His expression is largely neutral, though as close as they are, Aishani might be able to pick out the faintest frown that briefly touches his brows. Finally, he swallows the previous bite of food and washes it down with the last of his water, reaching to refill his glass. "Permission to speak freely, ma'am?" D'kan asks, a hint of humor in his dark eyes now, the militaristic feel of the question not entirely necessary. Looking up with a brow arched, amused, "Go ahead." Aishani's cautious even if she seems entertained by the way D'kan puts the question, always just a touch wary. She'll even put down her fork to give her full attention to the young man across the table, curious. D'kan has also set aside both fork and glass as he folds his arms on the edge of the table and leans in. "You don't have to answer, but I want to ask the question anyway." Even then, now that he's already set himself up to ask the question, the weyrling hesitates. He could just be waiting to feel out whether or not there are eavesdroppers; it's a crowded lunch. However, the volume of that crowd also lends them a small amount of privacy, so he finally continues. "Why did you tell us? I mean, sure there were some who didn't want you in that knot before, but you had the upper hand. With a little more time, people wouldn't even remember the 'acting weyrwoman' part at all. You had to know the news would make your job that much harder." Amused still, that lending a warmth to her tone, "I never have to answer. But you can always ask." Aishani's attention has shifted now and again, to pay attention to their surroundings; how close people are, how much attention they pay. It has her voice lowered and her leaned in slightly as she takes up her mug. Dark eyes bright, "You have to tell me why you asked. But..." She considers the question for a time before simply, "I did know. And it didn't matter, by comparison. To them knowing. If they can't see past it to what I've done for the Weyr, so be it. But they had to know. Why would I have given up my name in the first place if no one ever knew it again?" Amusement gives a crooked lean to D'kan's smile following Aishani's first resonse, but it soon settles down to something more serious. "Motivations are important," he answers after a beat of silence. "Sometimes I they're they're more vital than what a person's done or said. Especially if that person is in a position of power." His own dark eyes meet hers for a moment before he lifts his shoulders in a small, possibly uncomfortable shrug. "I guess I just like to know the people I'm following. It matters." He leans back far enough to pick up his fork again, but he doesn't continue eating just yet. With a nod, "They are." Aishani too falls momentarily silent, taking a sip from her mug. "And it does matter. I'm sorry there's not something more noble to it. I made a promise to myself, to my father a long time ago. And then..." She trails off, considers. "Some things. Some people made me less angry. I could see that some things that I wanted would be...the same as what I suffered. I wouldn't do that." When she looks up, it's to seek D'kan's gaze again, or at least gauge his expression. Carefully, "When I chose to lead, it wasn't for this. It was because I thought it was necessary." "It was," D'kan quickly agrees after Aishani's last. "A place as big as the Weyr, you just can't leave it in limbo. It's like putting a herd on thin ice. The ice might hold for a while, but all it takes is one 'beast panicking or making the wrong move..." He lets the rest of the simile explain itself. It's likely he's just started feeling those first waking tendrils from Kazavoth because his gaze suddenly flicks toward the exit for a long, ponderous second, followed by efforts to move his food to the middle of his plate for easier carrying. Midway through one of the scrapes with the fork, however, his hand stops, then he looks across the table with a considering look. There is a brief glimmer in his expression that wasn't there a moment earlier, a touch of... perhaps scrutiny? "So, Brieli's motivations and yours... are now different?" he asks carefully, voice pitched prudently low. "I rather thought so... and there was no other way. Or, it felt that way." Aishani shakes her head, again considering the lunchtime crowd with a purse of her lips. "It's still not the same as a leadership flight, it won't ever be, but. There was a necessity. And..." She seems about to add more, but even now, there's something that stops her. When she looks back, she catches D'kan's glance to the exit, giving him a questioning look - does he have to go? Though that fades as he regards her, into something more neutral and serious, as she's likewise careful in her reply. "Brieli and Shani were never that different. My intentions are now different. Perhaps... my motivations have changed. It's hard to say." A pause. "I had good influences." It's also hard to say whether Aishani's answer is a comfort or confusion to D'kan, as he doesn't immediately reply. What he does is finish with the food, explaining quietly that he's going to need to get back to Kazavoth. He finishes the last of the water in his glass, then pauses with both hands on the edge of his plate. For a long moment, he stares unseeing at his food, then looks up to study Aishani's face for a long moment, definitely choosing his next words. Finally he takes a small, emotional leap and says in voice pitched to only carry as far as the Weyrwoman, "For all our sakes, I hope your influences and motivations continue to be good ones, Aishani. As long as they are, I'll follow you." With a last, parting nod, D'kan gets to his feet, apologizing more loudly that, "I'm sorry, ma'am, but I need to run. Kazavoth's nearly awake." Getting back to a small dragon is something that Aishani can understand, nodding easily when he explains. It doesn't seem to bother her, nor does the idea that D'kan might go off without some sort of resolution, to think this over. It's something of a heavy lunchtime conversation. But those low-pitched words are unexpected and she blinks across the table at him for a moment, dark eyes widened. Maybe it's that the louder apologies come so close on the heels of the quieter words - or maybe it's that it's just easier - but the goldrider only responds to the last, nodding up to the weyrling as he stands. "Of course. Thank you for the conversation." A slight smile. "My regards to Kazavoth." And then she'll finally, maybe, get to her lunch. |
Leave A Comment