Difference between revisions of "Logs:Lies"

Latest revision as of 10:20, 21 April 2015

Lies
Maybe it was time.
RL Date: 22 March, 2013
Who: Madilla
Involves: High Reaches Weyr
Type: Vignette
What: Aishani's revelation has an impact on multiple levels.
Where: Madilla's Quarters, High Reaches Weyr
When: Day 21, Month 4, Turn 31 (Interval 10)

Mentions: Aishani/Mentions, Devaki/Mentions, Dilan/Mentions, H'kon/Mentions, Lilabet/Mentions, Leova/Mentions, Satiet/Mentions

OOC Notes: Why hello there, middle of the night realisation. I didn't need the sleep, really. XD


Madilla sat on the floor beside the bunkbeds her children slept in, watching the way their chests rose and fell with each deep breath. Dilan slept in his side, curled up into a little ball, his little face turned towards her. Even in the dim light of the room, she could see his features clearly; they weren't her features, not even really a little bit. It had been three sevens, now, since Bri-- since Aishani had made her announcement. She had so many thoughts about it, she found it difficult to really keep up with them all. She'd not known what to think about the raids, when they'd happened, and she remembered all too well the sick awfulness that followed the execution. The lying, though: that bothered her most. She lied to me, she found herself thinking. To all of us. And for what? Was it necessary? Was it worth it? And yet, sitting here, watching her sleeping son, she felt a guilt of her own. She was lying, too. She'd been lying for the better part of five turns, now, if only by omission. After the hatching, Lilabet had been unusually verbose, rambling on about the hatchlings, the candidates, all the new weyrlings. And the blonde man, the one who used to play with her. He'd seemed so familiar, and it had taken her a while, and then she'd remembered. "He waved at me, Mama. He looked at us all." All. She'd sent them off to their days, to eat breakfast with the other children and get on with things; that's what seemed best. At the feast, she'd caught sight of Devaki across the other side of the room just once, and she'd kept her gaze away. She'd hid. A lie. She hadn't thought of it in those terms at the time, though. It had just been the natural thing to do: stay away from him. It was only a moment, and then she'd been gone anyway, gone with H'kon long before any announcements were made, any revelations. Hers... or anyone else's. Now, however, it wore at her. What right did she have to feel uncomfortable with Aishani's secrets, her deceptions, when she had secrets and deceptions of her own? Her intentions were good, she knew that: she wanted to protect her son. But was that a good enough reason to lie? She hated lies. She abhorred dishonesty. She remembered how sick she'd felt, keeping Satiet's secret, all those turns before. She remembered, too, how freeing it had felt (fever-drunk, admittedly) to even hint about the truth, Dilan's truth, to Leova. Dee-lightful. They'd not talked about it since. What happens in quarantine stays in quarantine, right? But she wondered. She should have told him while he was at the Weyr, but she'd been afraid. Now... Perhaps she should go and tell him. Lay it out. He'd be unlikely to catch a glimpse of her son (her son) at the Hold. He'd still be safe. They could... perhaps they could agree on something. To keep him safe. Lies hurt people, she reminded herself. It was the one thing she was sure about, in all of this business. Maybe it was time.

Comments

Comments on "Logs:Lies"

Aishani (Brieli (talk)) left a comment on Fri, 22 Mar 2013 23:56:00 GMT.

That is FABULOUSLY unexpected.

Azaylia (Dragonshy (talk)) left a comment on Sat, 23 Mar 2013 00:28:08 GMT.

The best realizations happen either at night, or in the shower. ...Or in the shower at night! The jumble of emotions and confusion in dealing with them... it's maddening. I definitely wasn't expecting Madilla to come to that decision, and I'm so excited to see what might come from it!

Madilla (K'del (talk)) left a comment on Sat, 23 Mar 2013 00:33:37 GMT.

I honestly did not expect it, either! I knew it was something that would come out at some point, but... I had no idea Madilla would put the pieces together like that.

I can't wait to see what happens, either! It could go so many ways.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-{{ Logs
+{{Log
-| cast = Nala, Nalyn, Ulyana
+|involves=High Reaches Weyr
-| summary = Ulyana meets Nala and Nalyn.  The former candidate makes her feelings known.
+|type=Vignette
-| gamedate = 2014.08.03
+| who =Madilla
-| icdate = Day 7, month 6, turn 35 of Interval 10
+| where = Madilla's Quarters, High Reaches Weyr
-| quote = "Why would the dragons care if they lied?"
+| what = Aishani's revelation has an impact on multiple levels.
-| location = Solarium, Fort Weyr
+| when = Day 21, Month 4, Turn 31
-| categories =
+|day=21
-| mentions =
+|month=4
-| icons =
+|turn=31
-| ooc =
+|IP=Interval
-| log = It's close enough to lunchtime that many have already made their way over to the living cavern, quieting down places in the Weyr that might otherwise be quite populated in the summer. The solarium, with its glass roof and warmth of light, if not actual /warmth/, is often busier in the summer, but thanks to the lunchtime exodus, it's occupied by only a handful of people. One of them is a young boy, who skirts the edges of the room, zooming a dragon toy ahead of him, and another is the dark-haired bluerider sat on one of the couches, her focus on the hides she's got propped on the arm of the couch, though she also seems to be keeping an eye on the boy.
+|IP2=10
+| gamedate = 2013.03.22
+| quote = Maybe it was time.
+| weather =
+| categories = Re-Return of the Vijays
+| mentions = Aishani, Devaki, Dilan, H'kon, Lilabet, Leova, Satiet
+| ooc = Why hello there, middle of the night realisation. I didn't need the sleep, really. XD
+| icons = madilla.jpg
+| log = Madilla sat on the floor beside the bunkbeds her children slept in, watching the way their chests rose and fell with each deep breath. Dilan slept in his side, curled up into a little ball, his little face turned towards her. Even in the dim light of the room, she could see his features clearly; they weren't her features, not even really a little bit.
-And then there are those who are a bit more sneaky than most - and on friendly terms with the cooks. Ulyana ghosts into the solarium with a couple of hides of her own and a small cloth, one which has been repurposed as a lunch bag of sorts. Left to her own devices, the former candidate might have claimed one of the less occupied sections - but the scattering of people renders that decision a bit more difficult. She slows to a stop, forehead furrowed, while she studies the space and the people. This also puts her rather inconveniently in the way of the lad zipping about with his dragon toy - though it's clear she's momentarily oblivious to the potential peril.
+It had been three sevens, now, since Bri-- since ''Aishani'' had made her announcement. She had so many thoughts about it, she found it difficult to really keep up with them all. She'd not known what to think about the raids, when they'd happened, and she remembered all too well the sick awfulness that followed the execution. The lying, though: that bothered her most. ''She lied to me'', she found herself thinking. ''To all of us. And for what? Was it necessary? Was it worth it?''
-It says much to the boy being more in his own mind than reality right now when he doesn't stop, even when Ulyana is all too close. He's not /much/ of a threat, at all of three turns, but a running child is still a running child, except he finally /does/ notice the presence of someone in his path, and rather than risk crashing into her (or making any kind of contact at all), he swerves and tumbles to the floor, sending his plush toy skidding away. "Nalyn!" The bluerider is on her feet, approaching fast, and though some toddlers might shriek out their indignant pain about now, Nalyn... doesn't.
+And yet, sitting here, watching her sleeping son, she felt a guilt of her own. She was lying, too. She'd been lying for the better part of five turns, now, if only by omission.
-The moment of revelation is shared. Ulyana realizes what's about to happen in the split seconds before it does, though she only has time to widen her eyes and suck in a sharp breath before the toddler takes a tumble. Her half-step back comes too late to prevent the incident - and she's quick to step forward, concern creasing her brow. The hasty approach of the bluerider is enough to determine her course of action; the girl pivots slightly to walk toward the fallen toy to retrieve it. "I am sorry. Are you injured?" she asks, her accent betraying her as being from Crom for those with an ear for such things.
+After the hatching, Lilabet had been unusually verbose, rambling on about the hatchlings, the candidates, all the new weyrlings. And the blonde man, the one who used to play with her. He'd seemed so familiar, and it had taken her a while, and then she'd ''remembered''. "He waved at me, Mama. He looked at us all."
-Nalyn glances between the woman who, from a very faint similarity of features, must be his mother, and Ulyana, uncertain of providing a response. He reaches both hands towards the bluerider, and though she reaches back to assist him, she doesn't pull him up or lift him into her arms, but lets him find his own feet and balance with minimal assistance. Still, he doesn't speak, and wraps an arm around one of his mother's legs. "He will live," the rider, Nala, announces crisply. "The fault was his own - he was not looking where he was going." It sounds harsh, but she has a comforting hand just touching the top of his head.
+All.
-The toy is held loosely in one hand while the boy gains his feet and takes his place at the bluerider's leg. Ulyana's attention shifts abruptly toward the rider when she speaks - and, to her credit, her expression slides into a well-schooled neutrality. There might even be a glimmer of respect, in spite of - or perhaps because of - the other woman's explanation. "I see." The toy is offered to Nala and she says in her peculiar, naturally flat affect, "I should also have paid attention." But, she already gave her apology and nothing further follows in that vein. Her head tilts, avian-like, as she adds, "He is a strong child to not cry out."
+She'd sent them off to their days, to eat breakfast with the other children and get on with things; that's what seemed best. At the feast, she'd caught sight of Devaki across the other side of the room just once, and she'd kept her gaze away. She'd hid.
-Nala murmurs thanks as the toy is passed across, though it's more of an appreciative sound that she makes than any clearly enunciated words. Her son has settled to staring up at Ulyana and is only distracted by his toy being presented to him, when he eagerly clutches at the soft green 'hide' of his dragon and looks to his mother for permission to run off again. "Go on," she quietly encourages, which sends him darting away without another word. "He does not mean to be rude," Nala tells the once-Candidate. "He is often reluctant to speak in-front of people he does not know. It is... rare that he is very vocal with complaints." All this, as if it is through study, not experience. "Nala, blue Jynth's," she adds, belatedly, offering a hand.
+A lie.
-The child's staring is met, if for a short while, with more stares. Ulyana doesn't shy away or squirm under the boy's attention; she only blinks when he finally rushes off to play. Her gaze lifts again to meet Nala's. "It is understandable. I was the same way when I was younger. Very little talking; no crying. Pragmatic, in a way." An empathetic smile is attempted, but it ultimately fails. The remains are swept back into a neutral line while she accepts the offered hand. But that, much like her particular flatness of tone, feels awkward. Practiced, but still not right. "Ulyana of Crom Hold." A beat. Two. Then comes the socially prescribed: "It is a pleasure to meet you."
+She hadn't thought of it in those terms at the time, though. It had just been the natural thing to do: stay away from him. It was only a moment, and then she'd been gone anyway, gone with H'kon long before any announcements were made, any revelations. Hers… or anyone else's.
-It seems much the same for Nala, who reclaims her hand as quickly as is polite to do so, the whole gesture perhaps one for formality, rather than feeling. "Well met," is mannered, though not particularly awkward, the reply one without much thought put into it. A matter of moments pass before she can no longer keep her gaze from brushing that /other/ knot, as she assumes, "You are one of the ones brought in for Eliyaveith." She doesn't say 'clutch'; not /now/. "It is unlikely they will do wrong by you, you know. If they intended to forget about you, they would not have made any offers at all."
+Now, however, it wore at her. What right did she have to feel uncomfortable with Aishani's secrets, her deceptions, when she had secrets and deceptions of her own? Her intentions were good, she knew that: she wanted to protect her son. But was that a good enough reason to lie?
-It was inevitable. All the same, one corner of Ulyana's mouth contorts at the observation and she dips her head in acknowledgment. "Picked me up just after my turnday with a few others. They went home." The twisting of her mouth turns sour before she forces it into flatness. "I am sure they will keep to their word here," she replies. "I will stay until I have fulfilled what the search rider asked of me." One shoulder rises and falls in a lopsided shrug that also serves to re-settle the hides tucked under that arm. "Assuming the dragons do not lie again, anyway."
+She hated lies. She abhorred dishonesty. She remembered how sick she'd felt, keeping Satiet's secret, all those turns before. She remembered, too, how freeing it had felt (fever-drunk, admittedly) to even hint about the truth, Dilan's truth, to Leova.
-For all intents and purposes, Nala appears ready to accept what she is offered in response, right up until there's mention of lying. Where she was coolly impassive, now her brows dip and her expression takes on a much sterner edge, dark eyes finding sharper focus. "There was no lying involved," she says flatly. "Eliyaveith rose and was caught. There was no reason to expect that there would not be a clutch. What gain there would be from lying would certainly not be in the Weyr's favour, feeding and housing more people when not absolutely necessary." The twitch of her lips is not quite a smile. "It is... strange. Which dragons do you accuse of deception? The queen? Or the dragon who Searched you?"
+Dee-lightful.
-She bears the brunt of that sharpness well; there's little to cut into with Ulyana, with her unblinking eyes and thinly folded mouth. "I did not say people lied," she replies. "People are responsible for taking care of people and dragons. Why would the dragons care if they lied? They do not have to maintain ledgers. They do not have to tend to tithes." With some slight shifting, she's able to fold her arms over the hides and half-forgotten bag of lunch. "If it was not the queen that played pretend when she flew, then it was the dragon that Searched. They're supposed to -know- there are eggs." In short: typical, slightly petulant Holder views. Or not. In either case, she's adamant, chin up and eyes unblinking against Nala's sharper gaze.
+They'd not talked about it since. What happens in quarantine stays in quarantine, right?
+But she wondered.
+She should have told him while he was at the Weyr, but she'd been afraid. Now…
+Perhaps she should go and tell him. Lay it out. He'd be unlikely to catch a glimpse of her son (''her'' son) at the Hold. He'd still be safe. They could… perhaps they could agree on something. To keep him safe.
+''Lies hurt people'', she reminded herself.
+It was the one thing she ''was'' sure about, in all of this business.
+Maybe it was time.
-"Why would dragons care enough about the matters of people to be calculating enough to engineer all of this?" Nala's tone is not so much one that demands an answer, nor is it accusatory. "If there is one thing that I have learned about them in my time here, it is that they have the capacity to be so much better than us. And worse, in times of base instinct, but rarely as calculating and twisted as we can be." There's very little heat to her voice, her argument more a matter of belief calmly stated than emotional need to refute accusations. "How can they be expected to /know/ any more than a husband," only there does a moment's sadness seem to touch her, "should know his wife is expecting before she does?"
-It's only now that the dull mask of Ulyana's face properly cracks - and that's to allow a knitting of her brows. She is silent while Nala speaks - and clearly listening, gauging by the increased fracturing of her visage - and lets that silence hang for the span of a heartbeat before she answers. "Why wouldn't they? Why wouldn't a queen want to play pretend at being a mother? Little girls are supposed to do the same all the time." She takes a half-step back, but only to prepare for a pivot leading toward departure. "I do not think it is twisted, but it is not right. If she was pretending, she should have told the other dragons. And if she was not, then perhaps they should wait until eggs are there before Searching." So says the Holdbred teenager, at any rate. It's the last that only seems to settle her expression again. "Because they're dragons and we're people. We don't have to Search for someone to take care of babies."
-The clenching of Nala's jaw is an almost imperceptible thing, perhaps because it's not born of an obvious anger or irritation, but of something much more subtle than she attempts to suppress. "But what grown woman would play pretend at such a thing, to be humiliated so in public? ...And does it not make it worse for her if the prospect was real and her hopes faded in-front of all?" She gives a little shake of her head. "Maybe you should try and meet Eliyaveith and then see if you still believe as you do." Across the way, Nalyn has reached a halt, and is beginning to get the glazed-over stare of the overtired toddler. "Excuse me. Enjoy your afternoon." And off his mother goes to retrieve him, then her work.
-That jaw clench goes wholly unnoticed by Ulyana. For all the words given and perspective shared, all the former candidate can think to say is, "How do you think it feels for us?" She rolls a shoulder again and shifts the hides to settle under one arm. No promise is made to meet with the queen in question; there's only the slight tip of a head to acknowledge the words as offered. "Be well," is offered in lieu of a proper farewell and the girl heads away and slips out, off to tend to whatever work she's taken with her.
 }}

Difference between revisions of "Logs:Lies"

Latest revision as of 10:20, 21 April 2015

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