Logs:Insecure
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| RL Date: 28 July, 2015 |
| Who: Hattie, E'dre, Elaruth, Wroth |
| Type: Log |
| What: Hattie and E'dre discuss the fate of knots. |
| Where: Elaruth's Ledge, Fort Weyr, Weyrleader's Office, Fort Weyr |
| When: Day 19, Month 5, Turn 38 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Lilah/Mentions, N'muir/Mentions, Dee/Mentions, N'rov/Mentions, H'vier/Mentions |
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| Late in the morning, Elaruth is still to be found on her ledge, having not moved from the comfort of weyr or the aforementioned since the evening before, and now she lies near to its edge, face tipped up to catch the spring sunshine. Her rider is safely tucked into the curve of her body, though the weyrwoman's legs dangle over the edge of the rock, her back pressed against pale gold hide and head likewise tipped towards the sunlight, eyes closed. Though she's by far now into the awkward stages of her pregnancy, Hattie looks far better than she has in past months - perhaps for turns - the shadows of stressed eased from her features. Occasionally, the goldrider cracks her eyes open to observe the goings on in the bowl, yet otherwise she's at rest, one hand cradling the curve of her stomach. E'dre makes his way across the bowl with a small group following him. He seems to be in an animated conversation with them, his hands flying up and to the side to emphasis points made in response to the statements being addressed to him. He pauses near the weyrleaders' complex and turns, making a large gesture of dismissal to the disgruntled riders. He watches them depart with a scowl, arms folded in front of him. It is only after he's assured himself that they have returned to more important duties that he turns and makes his way towards the Weyrleader's office. He must notice Hattie but doesn't seem like he'll interrupt her peaceful repose against Elaruth as he moves forward. It must be Elaruth who notices first, for she tips her head slightly towards E'dre and that small group, though she soon lifts it back to the sun and leaves Hattie to monitor their progress through eyes opened to no more than slits. Hattie watches - and doesn't - until footsteps send ripples across the ledge, picked up by sensitive paws. Her queen serves as something of a barrier, and so she lifts her voice as the brownrider goes past, to call, "Do I ask? Or is it safer not to?" She turns a little, resting weight more on one hip than the other, and peers along the line of her dragon to where she might catch sight of him. E'dre pauses at the sound of Hattie's voice and doesn't hide the loud sigh that escapes his lips. He steps around Elaruth, offering her a murmured greeting as he heads towards Hattie. He ruffles his fingers back through his hair, the tension that's still got his actions and features tight clear. "I don't think you want to know," he answers as his hand drops to his side. "You'd think they'd figure out I am not going to transfer them back into their old comforts of their former wings. I moved them for a reason. Yet they still whine at me like petulant toddlers!" He shakes his head and glares towards the bowl. "I should've assigned punishment to two of them. That's the third time they've complained." He looks back to Hattie as he crosses his arms in front of him and grumbles, "Bastards." "If they're behaving like children, then treat them like children," Hattie replies, craning her neck a little to look up at E'dre. "Until they're actually rude and insubordinate, repeat the same thing, in the same tone, again and again." And she must assume he's doing something similar, for it doesn't sound like she's delivering a lecture. After a moment's hesitation, she curls her legs back from the edge of the ledge and reaches her hands up towards him. "Help me up?" she asks, any embarrassment that accompanies the request swallowed down. "It's ridiculous that grown men and women need to be treated like I treat my daughter," E'dre continues to vent as he bends down and offers his hand to help her up. He goes so far as to support her lower back as he adds his leverage to get her standing. "It gets awkward at this stage, doesn't it?" he asks, smiling at her as he releases her hand. "You're looking good," he adds, "Less stressed." He shakes his head and scrubs at his face briefly with another sigh. When his hand drops, the smile seems to want to remain as he looks at her. "Eventually they'll stop complaining. Then they'll all start hoping for a new Weyrleader to be settled and then 'things will get better'," he quips with a wink. "It is ridiculous," Hattie agrees, as she reaches to grasp E'dre's hand and accepts his assistance to get back to her feet, a murmur of thanks offered as she finds her balance. "But then, people are ridiculous." She brushes at her skirts to get rid of any stray sand and grit, trying to straighten them as she goes. "...I feel like I should just park in one place for the day and just yell really loudly and hope people hear if I need anything," she says wryly. "Moving is too much hassle." But still she gestures towards the Weyrleader's office, as though to indicate she'll follow if he resumes his path. "I wasn't... easily idle, even as a child. This is new." And on the subject of both new and Weyrleaders, she suggests, "...You could be Weyrleader in your own right. Don't too easily scrub yourself out of the equation." E'dre offers his arm casually to Hattie as it's clear she's going to follow him into the office, wanting to lend support to her condition without drawing too much attention to the action. He barks out a laugh that sounds less amused and all too bitter. "Lilah made it perfectly clear that my brown would have no chance at securing this position for me." He strides forward, heading into the office and to the security it will offer to their continued conversation. "I hate using this space as it is," he tells her as he prepares to lead her towards a more comfortable option of a chair to settle in. "But it was brought to my attention that I am not accessible if I settle myself in other public places to work." He shifts subjects and focus off of him and back to Hattie as he glances at her face and then pointedly to her belly. "You won't be overly idle too long now, will you? And I'm sure Lilah still requires your help for many things." Hattie accepts his arm without making a fuss, and looks up at E'dre as he makes his remark about his chances. "I didn't choose any of the males who caught Elaruth," she states, though she is honest enough to admit, "at least, not the first time," a little more quietly, a shallow shrug indicating surrender to whatever theories others have about Elaruth and Bijedth. "You've the most experience to offer. Sometimes, it's said, the Weyr gets what it needs, not what the queen's rider wants." She settles in the offered chair, though takes a moment or more to seem actually comfortable. "...This place will be someone's home again, one day," she murmurs, glancing about the room. "But, to be honest, I think you can be accessible wherever you sharding well please." The goldrider follows his glance to the bump that dominates her frame and provides an assessing, "I don't think idleness is in my future, no, depending on..." But she can't speak of the baby. "Lilah feels she isn't secure in her position with me around. I'm sure she'd like anything but my help, really." E'dre maneuvers to perch himself against the desk, leaning an arm down to support himself as he considers her words seriously. "I have the experience, sure. I'd only say this is the first time I've earned the position in that I haven't done anything too seriously fuck up or compromise the Weyr." He tilts a rueful smile her way, "Unless you're one of the riders' who hates their new wings. They may not agree on that one." He shakes his head and drops his smile as he looks at her with more serious lines to his mouth and gaze. "Lilah is young, inexperienced, and insecure. I do not think she can do any serious damage with those qualities. However, if she ultimately is matched with an equally young, inexperienced and insecure Weyrleader, the Weyr will be fucked." He isn't going to sugar-coat his fears as he shares them. "I'm hoping I can do my best to prepare all those who may throw in for the position when Eliyaveith rises again. I've even given N'rov more responsibilities in Hematite. Vhaeryth has shown he knows how to catch a gold or two, hasn't he?" his dry delivery is followed by a crooked smile. "We've got time yet for all of that yet. Is Lilah really that bothered by you? I thought she'd have some loyalty to you." "I was younger than Lilah when I became Senior," Hattie considers, weighing up that fact with another shrug of her shoulders. "Then, age is only a number. There are times, I agree, when she seems very... young. Her arguments do sometimes seem to be nothing more than the 'because' or 'I want' of youth." She's more analytical than critical with her assessment, inside of her lip bitten down on in thought. "Training up N'rov isn't a bad idea, even if... he's sometimes as wilfully blind as she is. He's not a bad sort. I hope he means well, most of the time. I just... don't know if they'd be right together." For the rest, she has a rueful quirk of her lips. "I don't know where her loyalties lie. She's been... kind enough to accommodate what I need, for now, not that I'm sure she had much choice. She's certainly bothered enough to believe that I engineered the rebellion of the caverns staff." "He plays stupid a lot," E'dre agrees on the subject of N'rov with a shrug. "But if I don't give him a chance - we'll never know if he can step it up all the way. He is loyal. And the two of them? That'd lend its own problems, I agree. I heard she's been hanging around with H'vier and I'm not sure we want Reachian--," he laughs then, shaking his head as he angles a smirk towards her. "How can I say 'we don't want Reachian blood here' when Wroth and I hail from there? Turns and turns ago now, sure. Long enough I forget." He plucks at his lower lip for a moment and blinks at her. "She truly believes you'd do that? To what gain?" "Given that H'vier invited me into bed the other day, whether serious or otherwise, I highly doubt he's capable of a long-term, genuine attachment to her," Hattie declares, aiming for matter of fact, yet she falls somewhere closer to predatory instead. "Eliyaveith will rise sooner or later, and if he loses I imagine it'll be a case of whether he gives up there and then or keeps trying. He's more than a little transparent. We just need to hope she's smart enough to see it." She reaches out, aiming a poke at his shoulder as she insists, "And if I must answer to a 'Reachian, I'd much rather it were you." Acknowledgement of the past comes in the form of a quirked smile. "As much as we may never have seen that on the horizon." The weyrwoman leans back in her seat a touch more and provides another shrug. "As for to what gain... I tried explaining that to her. To. What. Gain? As much as I acknowledge her faults, I support her, whether she ever sees it as support or not." "Men like that are disgusting," E'dre drawls, shaking his head, "and too much of a clich?." Her poke and her words draw a surprised lift to his brows. "So I'm not fucking up, hm? It's harder to slip when N'muir and you have had to make arrangements that--," he shrugs, not wanting to delve further into that topic. "All we can do is bide our time and wait, really. Wroth has tried in the past, but let's be honest with each other. He's small for a brown. And if people weigh in on the color mattering to a clutch size?" He splays his fingers out in front of him as if he were displaying his words for her to view. "What gain? Why, to make her position look weak and take your knot back as soon as your medically cleared, of course. To make us all wish for another replacement. To call Ali back. The potential gain," he lays thick the sarcasm in his tone, "is so evident, Hattie!" "I think you will fuck up if you let your Weyrwoman convince you that you have no hope of keeping your knot and are inferior to her needs," Hattie answers, aiming another poke just beneath the last. "Though I've always told her that she must not have a Weyrleader walk all over her. Find a balance. Wroth may be small physically, but..." She dares a grin and doesn't verbalise the sheer volume the brown often possesses, but it too turns sarcastic the more gains are laid before her, as if absorbing tone from his words. "I know I'm paranoid, but that's an impressive level of it if even half is true. You didn't even mention Taeliyth rising first." "Leave me be, woman!" E'dre's tone is all joking as he playfully swats at Hattie's fingers. He glances around the office briefly and then looks back at Hattie. "This? I honestly never thought I'd want it, Hattie. I'm doing my duty now," he frowns, shaking his head as he draws his arms up to fold in front of his chest. Any further denial is cut short as the brown being discussed causes the brownrider to wince visibly and reach a hand up to press against his temple. "He can do it," E'dre grinds out through clenched teeth. "I needn't be a snot-nosed weyrling and deny we're good for the Weyr." E'dre doesn't have a habit of sharing his dragon's commentary to others and the sour look he levels at Hattie has nothing at all to do with their previous discussion. "He's going to be all puffed-up and proud now that you've said he could do it." He shakes his head and refolds his arms again as he shifts on the desk. "I hadn't thought of Taeliyth, actually. I don't know if Dee would be ready at all." Hattie makes to poke at him again, but feints away at the last moment, smirking. "If you do want it, don't count yourself out of the race already. You know, self-fulfilling prophecies and all that. If you only think you're going to surrender the knot to someone else, then you'll probably end up doing so." She tilts her head at E'dre's reaction to his dragon, yet she doesn't pry, her answer the instinctive reach of a hand that doesn't quite make it to touching his arm. "...I trust that N'muir made you Weyrsecond for a reason. I might not have always seen the reason, but I do trust that his choice was the right one for the Weyr, and for him. And I trust that you're doing what you believe are the right things for Fort. Whether I agree with anyone's choices is neither here nor there; I don't believe you'd willingly harm us." A flick of her fingers accompanies, "And if it is Taeliyth, she'll need someone with experience." "I may not have always shown the reason why I was made Weyrsecond," E'dre admits with a shrug as he pushes off of the desk and strides forward. "I had thought to come in here to work." He glances at the desk and the piles of records stacked neatly on it and then to Hattie with a sigh. "But with the thoughts of Wroth catching either Taeliyth or Eliyaveith in my head, I'll admit I'm scared shitless over what that would mean." He visibly shudders and then cracks a smile at Hattie, making the truth of that statement seem more of a jest than anything. There's the slightest hint of something more to his gaze as he moves to offer his arm to her again. "Shall I escort you to the living caverns for some food? I could use the company. We could start a great many rumors for being seen in public talking. I can only imagine how that'd infuriate Lilah. Though she seems to enjoy others' company outside my own counsel." He twitches a shoulder in the semblance of a shrug and keeps the smile on his face. "All is going as well as it can. I could use an ale though." "Don't wind her up," Hattie chides, playing at stern more than she manages to really be. A moment of hesitation - and something like guilt - later, she pushes herself to her feet and accepts E'dre's arm once more. "Only if you honestly don't have the heart to be accessible and working right now," she agrees. "...Let's go to the Fountain. It'll be quieter, though I suppose us talking will be turned into half a dozen different things by anyone who sees. It was foolish of me to think I'd leave behind that part of life for a while. I'm half-tempted that you should drink for me too while you're on the ale." And though she'll buy, she won't insist that he drink for two, or three. |
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