Logs:Uncomfortable Choices
| |
|---|
| |
| RL Date: 12 November, 2015 |
| Who: Edyis, N'rek |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr, Telgar Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: Misunderstandings happen, people come clean and a choice is made. Trigger Warning. |
| Where: Mad Smithcrafter's Den Weyr, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: 3D 4M 39T I10, spring night |
| Mentions: Gretvyn/Mentions |
| OOC Notes: Trigger Warning: Pregnancy Termination, feel free to make any changes or alterations as Necissary |
| An ocean breeze lifts to dance through emerald leaves, as Akluseth informs, « Edyis needs to speak with yours. It's an urgent matter, if you two can; as soon as you get the chance » Largath's touch is of wet leaves, the brown's curiosity evident as he sends back, « We're almost done with sweeps. We will come. » The Telgari pair makes it there within the hour, N'rek off from his dragon and in the inner weyr in moments as he asks aloud, "Largath's telling me it's an urgent matter? What's urgent?" He's looking around as he goes. Edyis is leaning against the counter, a tumbler of whiskey already poured as she holds it out at arm's length to him. There's a fish stew in a pot over the stove, and signs of mild chaos everywhere. "I need to apologize to you first, with everything going on, It was my fault. My responsibility. The healers told me I'm pregnant. Since it's undeniably yours, you have a right to know, and a voice in the decision that comes next." She pulls no punches, laying out the facts as though they'd been rehearsed. Dark eyes not daring to lift to catch his expression. N'rek eyes that held-out whiskey as if it's a trap. As common with him, he says nothing as Edyis speaks, seeming to let her say it all out as he watches her face and the chaos of the weyr about them. Silence permeates the space between them for moments more before he steps forward to claim the glass and knock it back in one motion. "So what do you plan to do?" he asks, his expression carefully neutral as he watches her as much as she watches him. He hands the empty glass right back to her as if he hadn't drunk it. That glass gets refilled and set on the counter, as she lifts herself to sit on the counter itself. She looks at him as though the question might be a trap, lifting the bottle itself to her lips and taking a small swig. "I haven't decided." She answers after some time in silence. "There is a history of miscarriage in my family, so even if we were to decide to keep it, there are no guarantees that either it or I will survive." She looks up fixing him with that intense gaze, expression carefully neutral. "I'm not ready for it, for the possible complications that could come with it, and I don't know that I would be able to get the leadership to sign off on a transfer to Telgar. Even if they did, I don't know that I could go through with it." She swallows hard then. "So while it would have been easier to make the jump and simply not tell you, the truth is you are too good of a person for me to not give you the truth, or a choice." "Shouldn't you be not drinking....that?" N'rek looks at her as she takes that small swig with a look. Still, the other thing Edyis reveals draws a shake of his head and a, "Ed. I don't want you risking your life or a baby's life if there's problems with having it. You definitely shouldn't even be thinking about transferring from your home. I wouldn't ask you to do that whether your leadership signed off on it or not. Seems like the answer is there, in my opinion. What do you want to do?" Arms fold across his chest as he watches her, studying her in the intense quiet that follows. The bottle is put aside at the reprimand, and a slow squeeze shut of her eyes in guilt. "And what if there would be no problems? What if whatever defect that ruined my mother's life is completely absent in me?" She studies him, watching that fold of his arms with brows drawn and lifted slightly. "I don't know." She answers again, "I always expected that one day I simply wouldn't have a choice. When I moved to the weyr it seemed like an impossibility. Had it not been for Akluseth noticing it before my next trip to Monaco, there probably wouldn't be a choice because we'd never have known." She looks at him then, "And what of you? I can't ask you to take on a burden you weren't expecting, You and Largath belong to Telgar. This thing between us, whatever it is has only worked because of that simple principle. Never asking for more than what is willingly given." She swallows hard. "Could you even forgive me? Regardless of whatever choice is made?" Could she forgive herself? "You want to risk that on a what if?" N'rek reasons, leaning back against the frame of the weyr entrance as he watches her. Arms spread from his body, "This is about what you want," he tells her easily. "You already know that I wouldn't be in the kid's life much. Telgar's my home just as much as the Reaches is yours. We're not weyrmates and as far as I knew it, this thing between us hasn't been something serious other than us seeing each other here and there. Unless there's something more you want to tell me today," with that glimmer of humor behind it, there and gone. Arms dropping, "There's nothing to forgive," he answers the last simply, his tone neutral as always. "This is how Weyr life is. We don't live in a Hold. If you want to take that risk, then you take that risk." She stares at him for a long time, as she listens, her expression resolving itself to something more neutral the longer he speaks. "She did manage six kids. Though it cost her her health" Is noted, but it dissolves, "Your right." She agrees evenly. The bottle clicking against the stone countertop as she lifts it to her lips, and drops onto her feet. That flicker of humor gets met with something else that is gone just as quickly. "Sorry to have bothered you with it. It was silly." Setting the bottle on the counter, as Akluseth shoots an accusatory look at the male as though it's entirely N'rek's fault that the brown is now climbing off his warm comfortable couch with a grumble, as she moves to start settling him into his straps. N'rek says nothing, eyes slightly narrowed as he watches Edyis like a science project. That she dissolves to his opinion quickly gets a shake of his head, but it's when she says the last and moves to strapping in Akluseth that he turns and follows her with a, "Where are you going? You didn't bother me with .....This is not silly, Ed, but it seems as though you were expecting a different reaction from me." Frowning a bit as he looks to Akluseth, "I thought you were just telling me about this," he says to her. "But now you're leaving and acting like I had said the wrong thing." Akluseth help him? Maybe not. Akluseth, he gives the male brownrider a doleful look, as though he knows just how much trouble the man is in. There's a shake of the brown's great head and a snort, as though to say, think about what you just said stupid. « Great so we are going back to hating anything with a penis today? This hormonal thing isn't permanent is it, because you do realize if you just said... » Edyis Jaw clenches and the brown hisses with teeth bared as a strap is tugged just a little too tight. "I've told you. We discussed it. It's done. I need to deal with this before I can't." « You know, I know you two don't have the benefit, » Read curse. « Of having a female whose hormonal in your head, but generally it's not a good idea to tell one whose stupidly head over heels for you that it isn't serious, if you want her to still cuddle in the morning. » His tenor sounding as though all the air is being squeezed out of it as he imparts this to Largath. Largath and N'rek exchange a look from the ledge, with the Telgari brown answering back, « But she said it wasn't....... » with a touch of confusion before he adds, « Greens are never this confusing. » Yep. N'rek's on his own. Something must exchange between him and his brown since his gaze is unfocused, and when it clears as he watches her with the straps, "Ed," he says stepping towards her back. "You've never said this was a relationship. Is it? I've always asked for honesty between us," and so there is where his own bemusement lies as he watches her. "And you've never said anything. Whatever I've said, though....I'm sorry." He takes a step back then towards Largath. « She's kind of a coward, in case you haven't noticed » Akluseth admits with a little less guilt than he might otherwise as another of his straps gets roughly cinched, the discomfort resulting in another vocal grunt. « Greens are way easier. Except the really young ones, they tend to be just as mean. » He somehow manages. "A relationship requires two people who share the same feeling." She answers back flatly, which earns a grumble from Akluseth as he steps away purposefully to get her away from where she can over cinch things again. "You said you didn't object to more. I thought I showed it. I am sorry I misinterpreted that." "How did you show it?" N'rek appears a touch guarded now as he studies Edyis and her responses. "I didn't..." Then there's a heavy sigh as he brushes a hand over his face as he looks away from the ledge. "I'm sorry, Ed," is all he seems to say now, his bemusement with the situation now slowly falling towards his guardedness. "You can't just assume that I would have gotten that. I wouldn't have objected to more if you would have told me. It was never my intention to hurt you." His first question doesn't seem to merit a response, as she steps closer to the brown, brushing a hand against his hide. "I did, the day I gave you the tree." She says softly when he claims she didn't tell him. She draws a deep breath in, and with a deep breath out, "It is ok, Rek. Really." Her voice lowered to the same soft tone she'd used before. "There's nothing to forgive." Starting to pull herself up between the brown's neckridges. That he had missed that - the tree - is telling on Rek's face. Quietly, "It's not okay," he says, but he turns to grab at Largath's own straps. Pausing, "I don't commit easy," he admits as an afterthought, looking in her direction. "I'm open to it, but it wouldn't be easy." His mouth parts as if to say more, but nothing more comes out before he shakes his head and mounts. « Young greens aren't that mean, » Largath considers that one with interest. « They're just young. » Somehow between Akluseth's ridges she seems more stable, more sure. "It is. This is what we are, it's what we do. I don't want anything you aren't freely willing to give Rek." A hand pressed against her life mate's neck. "Neither one of us is ready for anything like that." She frowns as she see's him mounting. "It only takes a few heartbeats, and then we will be right back. If you wanted to stay." "And here I thought you were kicking me out for good," Rek says on the last once he's climbed onboard Largath, "the way you've been talking." Edyis gets a measuring look in addition to that. "This is exactly why relationships don't come easy to me, Ed. I'm not exactly good with women beyond what's expected of me on the surface." It's a faint humor, that, and a bit self-deprecating. "If more isn't what you're ready for, then stop trying to give me a heart attack. I'll wait, if you still want me around. If not, I'll go." Akluseth huffed a breath and plopped down, making it very clear that he wasn't taking the crazy humans anywhere until they sorted things out. « Use your words Ed. » It's only when it's clear she's losing the argument that she slips back down loosening the buckles. She leans against the brown's hide watching him, listening as he speaks. She rubs at her face, arms folding, "Trying to give you a heart attack?" A brow arches at him expectantly. Largath's been mute throughout this whole conflict. He seems to be taking to watch-and-see position with N'rek still seated on top of him. The rider of the pair watches Akluseth make his decision before bringing his focus back to Edyis with the open hesitation of coming of dismounting just yet. When she does finally speak, "Yeah, a heart attack," he nods, slow. "Ed, this whole time we've been pretty casual and I really like and care about you. Everything I've told you has been true. I do want more, if we're both ever ready for that. You do know it's going to come with its complications. I don't live here and you don't live there in Telgar. A long distance relationship," he pauses, giving a slight hitch of one shoulder, "well, it's hard on its own. It's not very ideal for the both of us when we don't even see each other all that often. When we can't even see each other all that often. That with my own issues....Right now I can't give you that sort of relationship. It wouldn't be wise, and you'd end up feeling worse than you do right now if we were to right now. I thought we were on the same page with that, Edyis." She watches him, listening as he speaks, those dark eyes intensely focused. Her back against the brown who seems to be watching as well, faint flecks of yellow tracing over the facets on occasion. "I thought we were too." Edyis answers of being on the same page, rubbing her arms. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen. But it did." Her gaze shifts out to the bowl. "Another lesson learned." Akluseth's tail twitches, she remounts. "I think you should probably figure out if you want to be here when we get back. Either way we will be ok." And with a sigh Akluseth launches, and in the space of a few wingbeats, they are gone, between. "You know I want to be here," N'rek answers, but Akluseth launches into the sky, the wind of his passing blowing through him and his dragon until the pair winks Between. They would have waited long enough before Largath receives a summons from his wingleader to return home, and the brownrider leaves a note on Ed's table detailing, ' Wingleader needs me. I'll be back in a few hours with something to eat ' before Largath takes him back home. |
Leave A Comment