Logs:Uncomfortable Truths.
| |
|---|
| RL Date: 13 November, 2015 |
| Who: Jo, Edyis |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: Edyis comes clean to Jo, Jo sets her straight. |
| Where: Mad Smithcrafter's Den Weyr, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 4, Month 4, Turn 39 (Interval 10) |
| OOC Notes: Feel free to make any changes, edit alter or adjust as needed. Trigger Warning: Pregnancy Termination. |
| 3D 4M 39T I10, spring night Mad Smithcrafter's Den Weyr Weather: Rainy Other notes: Trigger Warnings:
Jo and Tacuseth are slow to come these days. After all, it seems like her night excursions beyond the Weyr have picked back up, which means more often than not the bluepair isn't easily reached. Tacuseth must be in the area, though, for Akluseth's call does reach him and he is quick to respond with, « We'll come soon. » Soon they do with Jo dismounting in her dark leathers that look newer than the black ones, stepping into the weyr and taking a look around her with a slight frown. "What's all this 'bout?" is her greeting as she walks in further, the wingsecond pulling her riding gloves off slowly, one by one. Her gaze lingers on the food and the notebook. Edyis laughs a little nervous. "I hadn't been able to stomach the scent of anything else so far. And I haven't been able to keep much down." There's a pause, "There's something that I need to talk to you about." Setting the plates on the table along with utensils, letting Jo pick what she wants to drink for herself. "I've been out of my mind for the last two days. Ever since I talked to the healers and N'rek. Stuffing the riding gloves into an inner jacket pocket as Edyis talks, Jo's brow merely lifts when she explains. "'Bout what? Somethin' gonna keep ya from Snowdrift?" she asks since the healers are involved, and the bluerider is now looking her over with a sharp gaze as if she could see what ails her friend and wingmate. "No." She says, resolute. "In fact, I would like to take on more work if there is any to be had. I need the distraction." Uncorking, one of the bottles and filling the glass in front of her as she sets the plate on the table. "A few days ago the healers suggested that I might be pregnant." Settling into the comfort of the couch. Jo moves towards the table where Edyis is at, ungloved hands being shoved into her leather pockets. There's a brow lift at hearing about Edyis being pregnant, the woman dropping, "Might be." It's begging for more information since the bluerider finally takes a seat and falls silent to listen. "There is a history of complications with pregnancy and miscarriage in my family, my mother managed six healthy ones, but at the cost of her health, and eventually her life." The brownrider sips the wine, before continuing. "So this time at least, the most rational decision seemed to be not to take the risk." Jo listens as she settles into the chair, watching Edyis in silence. When it looks like she's done, "Shit," is her comment, looking a bit surprised. "Yer alright? Didn' know that 'bout yet ma. Six of ya, huh?" She shakes her head as she leans forward and looks toward the glass that is to be hers as she says, "Yeah, it'd make sense to wanna bury yerself in work. Been what I've been doin' since. If the healers're sayin' it's a big risk to take...." she shakes her head to that. "I don't really remember her all that well. I remember that she was frail, and her voice. I remember hearing her cry sometimes. Gretvyn really was the one who raised me. Most of what I know about Edelyn I learned from her." Edyis's mouth twists oddly. "After my Father died, Gretvyn started talking about things." At the question of being alright her brows draw together and she lifts the glass. "I am not sure I am supposed to be. I still feel like a coward for it Jo." She admits, "N'rek even agreed that it was the right decision ." A lingering but, left in the air as she shakes her head setting the glass aside to pick at the food. Jo has started eating already as Edyis explains further, nodding on her family history. "Just like the bastards to pass down somethin' to their offspring," she states flatly. "Mine better not have." Apparently all parents are bastards in her eyes. Ed's answer on her wellbeing gets a pause, and then, "A coward. But?" She hears the 'but' as she pause eating. "I think the worst part was realizing just how much I have managed to delude myself into thinking I let go of my hold bred notions." There is a mild head shake pushing a flake of fish back and forth. "Realizing that entire conversations that I thought were important, he didn't even remember. I couldn't even get mad about it, I was so shocked." Jo claims the drink she has and gulps some of it down. "Rek, we're talkin' of?" she asks, brow lifting at Edyis in askance. She shakes her head a bit as she says, "Men don' hardly remember their own dicks 'less they tug on it occasionally, darlin'. It's their nature. What were ya expectin' with him?" she asks now, setting the drink down. "If yer mentionin' holdbred notions." Akluseth snorts in amusement at Jo's assessment of men. Edyis nods, setting aside food in favor of wine. "I didn't know what to expect, but I didn't expect the words "not serious" or "casual", I didn't expect them to hurt as much as they did either." She takes a long gulp from her glass, reaching for the bottle to refill it. "Stupid right?" "I was of the impression that that was all it was," Jo notes, though she's quick to add, "Not that ya've been forthcomin' when it came to him. Neither has he to me, either. Can't expect'em to know what ya want, darlin'. Did'ja tell him ya wanted not casual? Where does this leave y'all now?" She drinks down her wine before setting it aside in favor of more food. "The day he picked out the tree that shelf was carved from." Her eyes lingering on the sleeping green on the top shelf. Edyis exhales softly, "I don't want to trap him into anything Jo. I know we both have our own lives, our own Weyrs, and I don't even know a thing about Weyrmating." She notes swirling her glass. "But I would be lying if I said I didn't love him." She squeezes her eyes shut, and opens them pulling her plate over again and managing a few bites. "It's all uncharted territory for me from this point Jo. Even though I know betweening was the right choice right now, I still - feel guilty." Jo blinks a bit at the first, but the bluerider says, "'N he was 'spose the figure from that, darlin'? Ya didn' remote tell him?" There's a click of teeth for that, her wordless admonishment. "Ya love him'n ya never told'im. Now ya got hurt. Ya should be vocal next time," she says, shaking her head. "I've learned that men aren' mindreaders'n if it's not somethin' they're expectin', they won' see it. Sorry it happened at all - the guilty feelins'. I can't say much 'bout that, but I know this is uncharted territory for ya." Her easiness on the matter is there, though there's some touch of concern in her expression as she watches the brownrider. "No I actually used words, and he agreed and decided it would look pretty much the way things are." She laughs, "He just forgot it I guess." There is a smirk for Jo's admonishment. "Words are cheap, but I get your meaning." There's a nod, "It was an accident, and at least now I know it's actually possible. It does mean I need to be more vigilant. Maybe some day it will be worth the risk, and maybe it was the only chance." She shakes her head then. "Akluseth helps, reminds me that this is part of being a rider now. If I risk my life, I risk his too." "Or he meant what he said 'bout things bein' the way they were," Jo says with a slight shrug on the matter. "No matter. Miscommunication, perhaps. Perhaps not. I dunno what all he said'n I dunno all that ya said to him." The last gets her to raise her glass briefly towards her as she says, "Yeah. Ya are. Don' ever forget that, darlin'." "Probably." Edyis admits in retrospect, sinking into the couch again. "It doesn't really matter either way, the damage is already done." Finishing her plate and setting it on the table in favor of her wine glass. "I shouldn't have told him. It only complicated things. It seemed like the right thing to do though." There's a smile for the lift of the glass, "Unlikely to happen any time soon." She notes of being a rider with a smirk. "My, my," Jo muses as she lingers on her drink, watching Edyis from where she sits. "How quickly youth gives up." Setting the remainder down, "Perhaps ya didn' love him as much as ya think yerself," she notes briskly, "if that is that'n the damage is done. It seems to me like it was merely a miscommunication issue. It happens, even to those of us not in a relationship. If ya like each other that much, ya fix it. If not? Then ya shouldn' be mopin' in the first place. Ya move on'n find the guy that wants the relationship ya want." It's simple to her at least, and it's said as such. "As for that toast," she goes on say, "that was for riskin' yer life'n yer dragon's. Nothin's worth that in the long run if ya can help it. 'Less ya like bein' reckless. Reaches seems to be filled with many of those sorts. Myself, included." "I didn't say I was giving up." The brownrider notes with a dour look. "And I'm heavily considering women at this point, less risk involved." It might be an attempt at humor, despite the utterly deadpan delivery. Something about the explanation of the toast has her wincing ever so faintly. Akluseth craning his head to look over as though to say, see at least one of you humans has sense." "Anybody ever tell you you are insufferable when you are right?" "Didn't sound that way to me," Jo is flat in saying on giving up. "'N if this is how ya were talkin' to him, too, I'd imagine it was the same to him. Talkin' 'bout conversations. Darlin', honestly, if I had taken every single gift I've gotten as a declaration of love, I'd be fat'n handfasted with over eight children right now. Or weyrmated. Ya talk to him, woman. That's what it takes. As for yer," problem, and there's some handwave, "make friends with the healers. The way I wager ya were fuckin' him frequently, this was bound to happen. There's ways to prevent that. In the future." Ed's last gets a snort as she takes a drink, draining her cup before she answers, "I'm honest, only 'cuz I've had to face reality a time or two myself. Ya learn from it. Ya get tougher." Ed stares at her wineglass, processing that particular admonishment. "I don't know what I am supposed to say Jo." Edyis exhales as though she had been holding her breath. "I tend to obsess over my fuck ups. I line them up in a row and analyze them for what I should have done differently. What I will do differently in the future. Seems like it never really gets any better, as soon as I manage to fix one flaw, half a dozen more show up." Tipping the wineglass back. At mention of the healers she nods, "That would probably help on the rare occasions that I am not making multiple daily trips between. Until this last month or so there seemed to be no need of it." Clearly she was quite mistaken. Edyis studies the blue rider quietly, something of awe written into her expression. Playing with her empty glass and not refilling it quite yet, that first gets Jo's answer in, "I don' know what ya should say, either. That's for ya to figure out, but sittin' 'round here hemmin' over fuck-ups ain' gonna get yer answer any sooner. It ain' about flaws. Yer young. Ya make mistakes. We all still do. I tend to forget how young ya are sometimes. All I know is, ya'll figure it out if ya want to." Now she leans forward to refill that glass, not topping it. Edyis can't help but laugh, "I can't help my age, Jo." Amusement glittering in those dark eyes. "But at least I get the benefit of your turns of experience." There is a nod for the rest, an easy acceptance of the truths the bluerider speaks. "Speaking of age, there is a certain blue riding acquaintance, who has a turnday which merits celebration soon." Grinning, "No, ya can't," Jo agrees on Ed's age, "but ya can help how it affects what ya do. Now, what's this bluerider'n turnday yer talkin' 'bout? I'm assumin' ya mean Alida?" She doesn't seem to be putting forth any other mutual bluerider name. "Does she even celebrate her turnday?" "I lets hope." Alida's name earns a wolfish grin. "Generally, no. I usually get her something though, but It could be more fun to drag her out for drinks in the snowasis or something." The brownrider notes. "Guessin' Alida, she might prefer the gift," Jo muses with a touch of wryness in her tone, "but, if y'all decide to go out, I might come along if I get my work for the wing done. Haven' exactly been in a celebratory mood lately, though," hence the non-committal. "Who knows. I might make a cameo. Thanks for the meal," she gestures towards her plate, and the made-up table. "It's pretty dressed up just to tell yer wingsecond that ya used to be pregnant." Her glass gets drained. Edyis laughs, "Probably, but why not both." The warmth fades a little at mention of celebratory moods, replaced with concern. "I know, and I get some of the why, but - I think it would maybe do you a little good too." At mention of the table being dressed up the brownrider smirks, "It is as much for my sake as it is yours, but good things become better when shared with good people." There is a wry twist of her mouth, "probably would have been just as dressed up if you hadn't come." Unable to resist the light tease. "Not how I operate, darlin'," Jo tells her with a lift of one corner of her mouth. "Though, ya mean well. Got too much on my mind right now to be celebratin', but, have Akluseth call on Tac if it does go down. I'll have somethin' for Alida on her turnday." She gets up then, draining the last of her drink before setting it down and saying to her, "I should be headin' out. My day doesn' end yet. Thanks for lettin' me know, 'bout the pregnancy. Ya know how to reach me." For anything. Ed nods, several times in succession. "I know we are supposed to report it, but I don't want off wing duty Jo." There's a weight to the words, "And I don't - with it being a moot point the fewer people who know the better." It probably doesn't need saying but it is there anyway. "You are always welcome here Jo, and the knowing how to reach out. It goes both ways." |
Leave A Comment