Logs:Neutrality
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| RL Date: 28 February, 2013 |
| Who: K'del, Nicky |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: K'del and Nicky catch up over dinner. |
| Where: Kitchens, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 12, Month 2, Turn 31 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Azaylia/Mentions, H'kon/Mentions, Taikrin/Mentions |
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| Kitchen, High Reaches Weyr Polished marble and granite surfaces, gleaming metalwork and pale woods characterize the vaulted fastness of the kitchen. Several large hearths gape red-mouthed against the outer wall of the cavern, their fires almost always stoked for the constant cooking the Weyr requires to feed its denizens. Sinks line the wall to one side of the hearths, providing ample space to wash large quantities of dishes, while to the other, cabinetry and a deep pantry provide storage space for items commonly needed on a day-to-day basis. The remaining wall space is taken up by passageways and extra seating: swinging doors that lead variously to the main living cavern, the inner caverns and the storage rooms, a counter-height pass-through for food service to the Snowasis, and a series of nooks equipped with tables and benches for quick, out-of-the-way meals any time of day. It's a little late for 'dinner', really, but the kitchen staff are prepared for people who need meals at odd times throughout the day, and so K'del's managed to put together a relatively decent feed despite the hour. The bronzerider is currently squirrelled away into one of the nooks, half of his attention placed firmly upon a little notebook in which he's scrawling at casual intervals, and the rest focused upon his meal. It's relatively quiet in the kitchens, now: most of the other nooks are empty, and though there are staff about, they seem largely focused upon clearing things away and getting things set up for the breakfast shift. No stranger to odd-hours eating, Nicky is in much the same situation as K'del. He's also scrounged together a plate of deliciousness, and he makes a beeline for the little alcove that he'd normally choose when he's there after-hours and wants to eat out of the way. It's such a well-worn path for him by now that he doesn't realise the nook's already occupied until he's practically on top of it - and K'del's presence surprises him. "Oh! O-oh, sorry, sir... I--" He's interrupted by a kitchenhand passing by with a mop, who nudges the candidate into the space with the bronzerider so that she can get by and clean up properly. Nicky looks down at his piled-up plate where he holds it in front of his chest, trying to make himself small against the side. "I-I didn't realise you were in here, sir." "Mm-- oh!" K'del's interrupted from his half-written thought by Nicky's stammered arrival, blue eyes lifting abruptly from the page so as to allow him to regard the candidate steadily. He smiles, tipping his head towards the seats on the other side of the alcove in what could easily be taken as a belated invitation. "Wanted to see how you were doing, anyway," he offers. "Catch up. Besides, meals're usually better taken in company. You're eating late." Nicky pads over to the indicated seats, settling down in one of them with his plate on his lap. For all it's piled up high, it's filled with things that are easy to eat, especially easy when you load them into bread, which is exactly what the lanky teen starts doing. "I'm good, sir. I've been... um..." He bites down on his lip, a thoughtful expression causing his brow to furrow - which might be to do with picking the next morsel to be placed in his sandwich... or it might not. "I've been doing a little favour for B-Bones. It's kept me up a bit later than usual, b-but I'm nearly done with it, s-sir. I've h-heard that, um, y-you've been busy, sir?" "For Bones?" K'del's surprised to hear that, it seems, and tilts his head a few degrees to the left, studying Nicky thoughtfully, as a result. "What's he got you doing, then? Don't let him keep you too busy - if you Impress, you'll wish you'd had the sleep." He sets his fork down, leaning backwards against the backrest of his seat as he adds, "What've you heard about me, then? About what's keeping me so busy? I'm curious." He does seem to be, genuinely: there's no censure in the question, nothing but faintly amused interest. "It's n-nothing big, sir. I'm just sh-sharpening some of his tools, is all." Nicky gently shrugs his shoulders, brushing the task off as nothing. "It's something I e-enjoy doing, though, so I'm taking m-my time over it, when I'm f-free." He takes a bite of his sandwich, chewing thoroughly before answering K'del's question. "Um. W-well, um, I heard you d-did something with the w-wings, sir?" The teen pauses, brushing the pad of his thumb against the corner of his mouth. "I-I'd want to ride with you, sir, if there's a dragon out there f-for me." Having abandoned his fork, K'del turns his attention to his mug, lifting it towards his mouth with both hands. He's partway through a sip of the now-cooling liquid when Nicky says his last, and perhaps that's for the best: he can hide his immediate reaction, that twist of his mouth, behind the rim of his mug. It's several seconds later, when he's set it down again, that he says, "Well, I hope that, should you Impress, I'm in a position to let you do so." He sounds tired, when he says it, and perhaps a little sad, though his expression seems determined to be encouraging. "Afraid my position is largely... self-created, at the moment. Advising wings, and only... less so, now. We'll just have to see how Taikrin does." "I hope so, sir. On b-both counts." Nicky's crooked smile is coy, and he takes another bite of sandwich to give him an excuse not to comment on Taikrin in her position. He chases it down with a sip from his mug, then seems happy enough to continue talking; he's relaxed, even, as he leans slightly towards K'del, with his floppy curls just skimming his vision. "I don't understand the p-politics, sir. Not yet. B-but I'm, um... I'm not sure I'd back miss Taikrin as W-Weyrleader, sir. On account of her b-being a -- not being a... a ma-- a b-bronzerider." There's an uncomfortable shifting about on his chair as Nicky squirms, and the rosiness blossoming on his cheeks creeps up to colour his ears - what's visible of them beneath his hair, anyway - red. Blue eyes regard Nicky levelly, and abruptly shift away, right as K'del finds himself smiling, both amused and pleased. "Better not call her 'miss'," he advises. "That's not a dragonrider title." He doesn't seem to have a better option - certainly, he doesn't seem inclined to recommend calling her the Weyrleader - but, well. It has to be said. "You've time to learn the politics, I promise you; it's a good start that you're listening, at least. Paying attention. I was Weyrleader a turn by the time I was your age, or thereabouts, after all - not that I'd recommend that to anyone, or wish it on them. Paying attention, having opinions: that's enough to start with." "O-oh, sir, I-I wouldn't want to be W-Weyrleader." Nicky shakes his hand and his head, worried he's given the wrong impression of ambition. "I'm learning a lot though, sir, b-by listening. There's a l-lot being said... s-sometimes it's hard to, um, tell what's a l-lie and what's truth. Everyone h-has their own spin on events. M-maybe..." His nose wrinkles as he drops his gaze back down to his plate, where he pokes about with his fork. He doesn't look up as he delivers his suggestion. "W-would it be a good idea t-to, um, have a c-circular? F-from a Harper? A /neutral/ H-harper. S-something to, um, set everyone straight. O-once a sevenday, or something." K'del's, "Smart boy," is clearly intended as answer to this prospect of Weyrleadership, though he doesn't follow it up with anything else that would explain the remark further. Instead, he lifts both elbows up onto the table in front of him, using one upturned hand as a chin-rest, whilst the other supports the structure closer to the base. "Do you think it's possible even for a Harper to be neutral, Nicky?" It's a gentle question, not intended to chide. "Not entirely convinced anyone is neutral, whatever they think. Even not having an opinion on who is right still requires an opinion on what people are doing on. People aren't necessarily up-front about that, either." "Yessir," Nicky replies naively, with an somewhat emphatic nod of his head. "Harpers sh-should be neutral, sir. I-if they're writing the ch-chronicals of Pern, sir, then they sh-should be neutral... there must be some who are, sir?" He spears a vegetable on his fork, holding it ready to be eaten once he's finished talking. "M-my opinion of neutral s-sir is being able to be, um, unaffected in your w-work no matter what your o-opinions are. You may not l-like what you're doing or wh-who you're doing it for, but it might be for the better good if you j-just go with it." K'del lets out a long, low breath, rather a sad one, really, as he listens to Nicky. "In an ideal world," he says. "I'd like to think you're right. But-- Nicky, Harpers are just people, same as the rest of us. They all come from a certain background, a background that probably encourages them into certain views, same as all of us. Hope they do a better job of neutrality than some of us - that'd be ideal. But no one, not Harper or otherwise, is really neutral. Have you ever heard the phrase, history is written by the victors?" His nod confirms that yes, Nicky has heard of that phrase, and he mulls it over as he finishes his mouthful of vegetable. "But maybe, sir, maybe the victors might /direct/ the words, but maybe the Harper w-writing them might want to write s-something else?" There's hope there - but only a faint glimmer of it that he shrugs away with a roll of one shoulder. "S-see, I like my job because it d-doesn't matter how I feel about the p-person who asks for the work. I-I only have to care about g-getting it right for the /runner/... a-and runners are as n-neutral as it gets. So, um, my opinion doesn't cloud my work, sir." "And who's to say that that something else is any more accurate?" K'del's smile is sad around the edges, both for what he's saying, it seems, and for the illusions he's (perhaps) destroying. "In an ideal world, I hope you'd be right. I'm sure some are better than others, certainly. There's--" He takes a moment to think over his words, using that time to break off a piece of bread from that which still remains on his plate, though he doesn't yet put it in his mouth. "There's something comforting, in knowing that some work is neutral. As a dragonrider, though - it's harder. Even simply doing your duty can be confusing, if there are multiple people demanding your duty. Politics impact us all." Nicky leans back, sighing heavily enough for his shoulders to sag as he sinks against the wall. "Is it... i-is it worth it though, sir? I've heard th-that having a dragon is like n-nothing else on Pern. I-is it worth all of the political stuff, to h-have that neutral b-bond with a dragon? P-politics can't affect it... right? It i-is neutral, between d-dragon and rider?" His forehead furrows, brows coming down in low concern over his brown eyes. "It's h-hard to understand everything, sir. I-I only know mostly what the H-Harper stories tell you as kid, a-and they might not be entirely, um, truthful." Especially given what they've just established Harpers to be. Sympathy marks itself deep into the lines of K'del's face; he seems almost regretful of the conversation they've had thus far, of the reaction he has drawn out of Nicky. At least, on the topic of dragons and riders, he's more certain. "It's difficult to lie to your dragon," he says. "If you let them, they can see all the truth there is: everything you feel. Takes an actual deliberate effort to stop that; it's not something you can do at first, definitely. Doesn't mean they'll always agree with you, though, or that you'll always believe the same thing. They've a personality and feelings of their own - it can get complicated, sometimes. But it's worth it." Of that last bit, he has no hesitation. "It's not supposed to be easy, Nicky. It does get easier, though." Looking somewhat reassured, Nicky gives K'del a crooked smile and nods his head gently. "I'm not sure it's been hard yet, sir. Just... j-just confusing, a bit. C-complicated. There's a l-lot to learn about Weyrlife on its own, even when there i-isn't u-upheaval and a p-power struggle at the t-top." Again he shrugs, his lopsided smile growing a little for a few seconds, before fading again. "B-but I think I'm doing ok so far, s-sir. Being a candidate h-has thrown me into the th-thick of things, so I'm, um, learning faster, maybe? I wanted to thank you for giving me the ch-chance, sir. I'm h-hoping I-I can make you-- e-everyone, really -- proud." "Believe me, I get it," says K'del, with a crooked smile. "It is hard. Seems like you're doing pretty well, thus far, to be as-- relatively comfortable as you seem to be. You're-- you don't need to do anything, to make people proud. To make me proud. Even if you don't Impress, okay?" He drops his hands, drawing back from the table, though his gaze doesn't leave Nicky's. "You're most welcome, for the opportunity. Someone gave me that chance, once, and-- it is worth it. All of it." "There's some I'm going to h-have to try to make p-proud, no m-matter what happens when the eggs hatch, sir." A beat, during which Nicky inhales sharply. "I-I'll have to p-probably try harder if a dragon ch-chooses me. My family... um. Th-they aren't too happy I'm a c-candidate, sir. My uncle's ok with it, b-but all of them b-back home? They... they're not h-happy. 'Specially because it's here that Searched me. I-I think they're m-more, um... a-actually, sir, I don't know if I g-get it, beyond b-being upset th-that I'm doing s-something different." K'del winces, genuine sorrow arrayed across his expression, though he tries - it seems - not to let it entirely overwhelm him. "Sorry to hear that," he says, quietly. "It's - guess our families tend to expect one thing from us, and it's hard to change perceptions. Things're messy here, no doubt, but they will improve. It's an honour, to ride here, and don't forget that, whatever happens. Your family'll come 'round, if you Impress. And if you don't? Don't let them tell you that you shouldn't have tried. It's always worth trying." "Oh, I agree, s-sir, it'd be an h-honour. I knew that straight off when a-asked me. Trying to c-convince them that isn't so easy, though. They're, um... we're Holders. Th-through and through." Since he is still one of them, after all, even if Nicky doesn't seem too thrilled with it right now. "I was lucky th-that my uncle broke away a bit, a-and I'm glad I followed him, sir. But it's still a bit odd, n-not to have them around, 'specially not now, w-with my turnday coming up. They always th-throw a big dinner for someone's 18th." The last morsel from his plate is popped into the teenager's mouth, and he swallows it in no time. "It's w-worth being a candidate instead of being there though, sir. It is t-to me, anyway." "Eighteenth," says K'del, giving the age all due weight in his tone of voice. "Reckon we can still do something. You're right - it's not every day a person turns eighteen, and turndays... they're harder days to miss people, I know that much." He glances away, his gaze seeking out some distance spot on a far wall, though it seems more likely that he's staring through it into something quite unseeable. "But if it's worth it, that's something. Good. S'what we want, in our potential future riders." Nicky's grin takes on a goofy sort of note, and he even has a bit of a laugh rumbling in his throat. "I thought maybe, um, maybe I'd be lucky and I'd get a d-dragon as a turnday present," he admits with a 'hey, it could happen' shrug; he's in the right place for it to happen, in any case. "D-did you ever play riders when you were a k-kid, sir? My aunt would knit us all stuffed dragons, l-little ones. There'd be lots of different colours a-and on our turnday, we'd close our eyes and p-pick one... and that would be our dragon. M-mine was blue and I c-called him Woolly..-th. He had to have the 'th', of course. That was my, um... my sixth turnday, I think. I-I remember being jealous because my sister got a bronzy-coloued one. Sh-she said it was a brown, but it wasn't. N-normally my aunt would only p-put bronze ones in for boys' turndays, b-but she must've let that one, um, slip." K'del turns his attention back towards the Candidate, listening with apparent interest to this story, and laughing at several appropriate points - Woollyth, bronze, and so on. "Seems like it won't be too far off your turnday, the eggs hatching," he remarks, levelly. "It's not possible. We did not play riders much, no, though I'm pretty sure I would have demanded bronze, if it'd been the case." He seems rueful, for the recollection, shaking his head as if to dismiss it. Nicky finds that last little nugget of information interesting, and he cants his head to look curiously at K'del. "R-really? Did you always know you'd ride bronze, sir?" He mulls that thought over for a little while, eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "I-if knowing plays a p-part in it, then I'm... I'm not sure where I'll be, a-after the hatching. I know I'd like to leave the S-Sands as a weyrling," that's said with a touch less confidence, making it a tone or so quieter than the rest of his speech, "but I d-don't know if I'd rather have one colour dragon over another. I-I'd like a healthy lifem-mate, if there's one there for me." Ever so quick, is K'del's shake of the head. "Oh no," he says. "Dragonriding wasn't something that even crossed my radar until I was Searched; it was then that I became determined to ride bronze, rather to the exclusion of all else." He seems mildly embarrassed about it, too. "I just wanted to be the best at something. Eighth of nine children - it felt like there was nothing left for me to do." Another shake of the head follows. "Azaylia definitely didn't know. Most people I've ever met - no. It's nothing to do with what we think will happen. The dragon chooses, whatever it will be. We just have to... wait and see. Yours is a much healthier attitude than mine was. Imagine if I'd walked off the sands alone? Or with a dragon of a different colour?" "Th-that's why I try not to get my h-hopes up, sir... or why I try to k-keep them to myself if I do have higher hopes. That way, I only have to worry about, um, letting m-myself down - or embarrassing myself. Only I'll kn-know that I didn't get what I expected to." Nicky nudges his plate aside, so that he can lean forward with his elbow on his knee, and his chin in his hand. "I'm a m-middle child, sir. There's not 'nine of us, but I've got b-big shoes to fill i-if I want to live up to my siblings." He huffs softly through his nose, causing his nostrils to flare. "A-anyway, sir, I think you were destined t-to be a bronzerider. You're, um... you r-remind me of the ones in the H-Harper stories." K'del's nod, this time, is approving. "That makes a lot of sense," he says, genuinely. "Much safer... and less likely to cause you personal turmoil. In the end, though... you'd love any dragon you got. Cadejoth, despite being bronze, is not the dragon I expected. Can't imagine riding any other, though." He seems genuinely flattered by the last of what Nicky has to say, his smile broadening, and his shoulders shifting just so. "Well," he says. "Good? I'm glad, I think." K'del's mouth twitches, at mention of H'kon, but he says nothing. Instead: "Have a good evening, Nicky. Good luck." He will lower his head back towards his page only after several long, thoughtful seconds - and a shake of his head. |
Comments
Azaylia (Dragonshy (talk)) left a comment on Fri, 01 Mar 2013 12:19:05 GMT.
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Aw haw, Nicky. c: I'm really enjoying these scenes between the two of you. They're nice, even though the things they talk about aren't always pleasant.
Brieli (Brieli (talk)) left a comment on Fri, 01 Mar 2013 16:52:08 GMT.
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I think Nicky's kinda in love with K'del. Just sayin'.
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