Logs:Sins and Blood and Poverty
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| RL Date: 18 March, 2013 |
| Who: Aishani, Vienne |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: Aishani and Vienne talk about her big reveal, and the reactions to it - as well as Vienne's Snowdrift Problems. |
| Where: Storerooms, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 10, Month 4, Turn 31 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: K'del/Mentions, Z'ian/Mentions, Jo/Mentions, Azaylia/Mentions, Liv/Mentions, N'rov/Mentions, Mielline/Mentions, Taikrin/Mentions |
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| After lunch, the storerooms seem relatively quiet today - it might have something to do with the lack of snow or rain and the decently warm weather, finally. No rest for the wicked though, or the Weyrwoman either; Aishani stands near the kitchen tunnel with the clipboard in hand so customary to this place, looking over whatever's on it. People still move in and out, but they neither bother her nor linger for long, likely as eager as anyone else to have duties done for the day and get outside. She probably could just have Oswinth ask Iesaryth for a location, but Vienne has opted to forgo the dragon-lojack in favor of the old fashioned approach and after asking a few people in the lower caverns, she ends up being directed to the stores, which could be a hunt all on it's own were it not for the Weyrwoman standing so close to the entrance. The bluerider arrives with her chin high, ready to go peering about, and it drops readily when she sees Aishani. What smile she might like to wear is tucked between her teeth as she approaches. An exhale and a shrug proceed her greeting. "Hey." No, Aishani only lurks the deepest stores at night, fortunately. Or that's the story, anyway. Always alert to approaches, the goldrider's dark gaze flickers up to spot Vienne on her way over, giving her enough time to finish up - or mark her spot at least - with her task. Looking up fully to offer the bluerider a smile that's threaded with apology, "Hello. I'm sorry I missed you the other night." A pause. "And I am sorry I couldn't tell you." Not regretful, no. But she might have liked to. Vienne is quick to give her head a shake, her smile softening for how quickly an apology comes. "No," she insists. "Everyone at once; it was right." But she draws in a deep breath, perhaps a little awkward as she stands there, hands uselessly together with fingers idly fiddling, a hint of tension curving her shoulders. "N'rov?" she wonders with a cant of her head to the side, a quick flick of her glance to make sure that storeroom workers and passing stuff-hunters aren't within ready earshot. "It was the easiest way," Aishani says, tone low, but the way she smiles belies that simplicity, satisfied. It must have been satisfying after all this time, for all that people shouted out, walked away. "I hope... Well. I should have stopped worrying about what my father would have thought a long time ago." That makes her look down, stare hard at her clipboard for a moment or two before she can meet Vienne's gaze again, with a brief smile. As for N'rov, she just nods a little. "I... can't go home. I asked him to go for me, and he sorted it out." A pause, before she admits, reluctantly, "Guessed. And I didn't notice... It was a good thing." Catching sight of that satisfaction widens Vienne's smile, no less the admission that follows. "It's the kind of thing that can... get away from you. There's rarely a 'right time' and prejudices can be tricky things." There's a little lift of her brows for that, eyes rolling to the side to emphasize what she knows about such situations, different as they may be. As for N'rov, she tips her head again for the correctness of sending a messenger rather than Aishani going herself. "Guessed?" she wonders. "About you? Some time ago or was that why you decided to... come clean." She doesn't like that phrase, though, and a wrinkle of her nose apologizes for it. Expression hardening, Aishani's dark eyes are flinty as she answers a few questions with: "They needed to know. What point was there to coming here if they didn't know?" Obviously, Vienne isn't included in the nebulous 'they', but bet those riders that bailed are. K'del, well. He's still alive. It could be worse. Right? "Everyone can think what they want about me. They're all still afraid, that's the important thing." There's a smirk the bluerider's way before; "He guessed about me, but that wasn't why. He'd kept it quiet. It was time. I wanted to be me again. It'd been nearly five turns." If Vienne is surprised by the darkness lurking under Aishani's expression, her words, the only visible sign is in the way she has to blink the blankness from her face. "Was it always the point?" she asks, letting her gaze cast away. "Something you chose to do rather than something that happened and just didn't stop?" She realizes belatedly that this is perhaps a bit nebulous, and it makes her flash a quick, shy smile to beg pardon. "The name, I mean. Pretending not to be you." Her eyes flick over the goldrider, still trying to adjust to the invisible change of her name. But it's not an adjustment that comes easily and Vienne shakes her head a little. "Five turns. Secrets are lonely things." But after that she has to smile more broadly again, in triumph for her friend. "Not anymore, though." It takes a moment for Aishani to shake that darkness off, but she does. It's slow to fade, though - or perhaps it's always been around her eyes anyway. "A little of both, after awhile. I chose to do it, and it became more difficult to stop. And then, it felt like... something important, I suppose. Like it was meant to happen this way." She glances Vienne's way, a bit uncertain about putting it that way, like it might sound a bit... weird. "Like... when things fell apart, I could hold them together like I couldn't when I was a kid. Even if it was here." With a grateful smile, "Yes. They are. I'm glad to be done." In a sense. "And how have you been? Starting fights, I hear." It looks like Vienne might have another question, but something about Aishani's idea that things were meant to happen this way, whether it's the notion itself or just the goldrider's hesitation about it, has her giving up her own queries to smile encouragingly. And she's mostly teasing when she lets her grin pull sly to wonder, "Am I going to have to get to know you all over again now?" But the fights, oh the fights. Vienne lifts her hands to hide her face for a moment, animated in her exaggerated distress and chuckling uncomfortably. "I haven't been able to talk to Z'ian. Snowdrift's schedule has been suspiciously opposite of Boreal's." So that he always seems to be busy when she is free and visa versa. "I don't think it has anything to do with me anymore. Mielliene just wants to stick it to Z'ian." There might be a questioning arch of fine brows at the sense that Vienne has more to ask, but if Aishani feels like the bluerider's moved on, she'll let it go. Giving a little laugh, dark eyes bright, "As I told Jo, there's not that much of a difference between 'Brieli' and Shani. I might be able to talk a bit more about my life now." Not that she seems too inclined to do so right now, more interested in the other woman's embarrassment. Grinning as she folds her arms over her clipboard, "It sounds like she's got some sort of issue with her pride or with him. It's a little ridiculous, though. Perhaps I should have told him; if he and Mielliene had a fight after I'd spoken up, perhaps both that and Tillek's heir would be forgotten in the melee." Another arch of brows - you think? Aishani's teasing only makes Vienne's laugh brighter, and a touch helpless just for show. "Oh, yes. Please, in the future, feel free to use my problems to direct everyone's attention away from yours." She shakes her head because, well, no, please don't. "I don't know what Mielliene's issue is. Pride maybe, or just trying to feel like she has control of things when so much has been unsettled. You, maybe." After all, a good portion of Snowdrift headed for the door after the goldrider's announcement. Vienne doesn't appear to want to linger on that event, though, eyes drifting low to the side. But she will admit. "I like that Z'ian stayed. That Boreal stayed." So the lift of her gaze again seems to show a mind that has been made up, no matter what roadblocks her current wingleader might try to throw in the way. With her own laugh, "I'll consider it. It might have worked." Not likely, but Aishani can hope. As for Mielliene, she merely wrinkles her nose. "If she was there, my issues are finished, unless anyone wants to start them." No, Shani's content with them just knowing she's running the place, holding that over their heads. "No, if it were me, it wouldn't have been an issue before. Something about Z'ian and implying you're not being properly utilized is getting to her, I think." There's a beat where she looks at Vienne and agrees, "I... should thank him for that. He doesn't seem bothered." And her expression is approving; but she's seemed in favor of this move in the past. "Perhaps you should speak to Taikrin, if it gets too awkward." "I don't know if it was a problem before," Vienne points out, weight shifting anxiously at the prospect that she could be at the center of some kind of issue that needs a Weyrleader's hand. "Things escalated, but I wouldn't say any of it is serious. Competition for the sake of competition? I'll speak to Z'ian and things will move forward." Her hands gesture lightly in the shape of something that is more 'done and over' rather than moving forward, but her lips press together, a hiccup of hesitation. "Utilized?" she wonders. Pursing her lips a touch, Aishani leaves it at, "I hope so." As Vienne's nervousness sinks in, she adds, quickly, "I won't mention it." Just to be reassuring. As for the last, there's a flash of a smile, with not so much apology as self-deprecation. "My way of saying that they don't really give you much to do, I suppose. You're smart and observant, and people talk to you. I think, if Z'ian has thoughts on how that could help the wing and the Weyr..." She shrugs. "I'd like to see that." Maybe it's just unexpected to hear Z'ian thinks such things, or that the statement seems more bald somehow, coming from Aishani instead of Brieli, but Vienne does lift a brow, head cocked in a bit of surprise. And she smiles as well, party shyly flattered and perhaps also a little pleased. "I'd like to help," she admits. "I don't know what it is, really, that I can do but..." But that does remind her of other times she's attempted to be helpful. "Have you spoken to K'del?" Her lips press tight again, as if she doesn't really want to know the answer. Shrugging, "Perhaps you won't know till you get there. So to speak." Aishani has a smile for Vienne in return, easy and bright, seeming sincere in her belief that the bluerider has some worthwhile skills. It fades a touch at the question though, and she says, oddly, "Not really. Iesaryth spoke to Cadejoth. Apparently they think I wasted my life." A humorless little laugh. "I think I'm still fairly young. And I doubt he really wants to talk to me. Would you, were you in his shoes?" Vienne is ready enough to concede that point with a tip of her head, that sometimes help is less about delivering something in particular and more about being able to react on the fly. But it's for this report of Cadejoth and K'del's perspective that has the bluerider echoing Aishani's empty laugh. "Some waste," she says with a dryness that touches on derision. "I wonder what they think you should have done instead." K'del's shoes, however, quiet and soften her expression. "No. I doubt he does. I don't know that there would be any benefit in it, either." But while they're on the subject of people who probably aren't thrilled with the turn of events. "Azaylia?" With a smirk, Shani agrees, "I thought I'd done all right for myself, whatever my reasons. And I'm not really sure. I suppose live with the sins of my blood. The poverty they drove us into, thought nothing of. That's not something I was willing to do with my time here." Here alive, presumably. There's a pause for K'del, whether there'd be a benefit or not, before; "I don't know. I'm not sure that he could understand, or I ever will." And when Vienne asks about Azaylia, she has to grimace a touch, looking down at her boots. "No. She's... She doesn't understand secrets. I don't know if she'll get over this. Liv... have you met her? She thinks I should try, but..." Sins and blood and poverty are not happy things and they have Vienne shaking her head, eyes down and expression sober. "I hope that's not what anyone wants," she says. "No matter how people reacted, there's no reason to believe that, to think like that." On either side. There's only a sideways hitch of Vienne's chin to suggest she's not quick to agree with Liv, or maybe it's just that she hasn't met her, though her comment might imply the former. "People will come around when they're ready, I think. If they're ready. And things with Azaylia have been complicated for a while." "I don't think they did, they do. I think they just didn't think." And by Aishani's tone, she thinks that's just as bad, perhaps. Now that she's talking about these things, it's difficult for her to keep the edge of anger from her tone, but it fades easily enough. Maybe she is done. Unconsciously hugging her clipboard a bit tighter to her chest, she glances up to Vienne with a quirk of her lips. "It's true. I'm not sure if there's any way to make it right, or apologize in a case like this. I'd... like to try. But I've always known that there'd be some things I gave up." A sad little smile for that. The anger is new and it's doubtless that Vienne recognizes the subtle shift in the Weyrwoman, something less measured, but it only makes her thoughtful. "Some people feel first, think later," she says as if those who do so need to be excused. At the sight of Aishani hugging her clipboard, Vienne's shoulder wriggle upwards and down again, not a shrug but an echo of that impulse to hug, whether she has any thought of offering such a thing to the goldrider or not. "Hopefully not forever," she remarks on things given up. "And meanwhile, the friends you have can get to know you better, the real you." It's such a fuzzy thing to say that she has to bite her lip a little bit as she shifts a step away, perhaps ready to leave Aishani to her clipboard. There's probably something that feels freed in Aishani, but it might only be a temporary thing, might be related to the subjects at hand, who knows. And by the little twitch of her lip, she might think people who put emotion before rationality need to be excused. But then, who went running off where for her dragon's flight? Vienne's little wriggle makes her smile, but the words make her likewise thoughtful, and she smiles before agreeing, wryly, "What friends I have left. And... I imagine it's been something of a barrier. Not that everyone loves to talk about their past, but..." She doesn't seem to take offense, at least. Turn around is only fair, even if Vienne seems to be rather innocently caught off guard by it. But it makes her laugh, smile broadly and warmly at Aishani as the bluerider starts to back away. "Sometime," she promises, as if the topic has been laid on the table plainly. "I think most people's secrets probably pale in comparison to..." She drifts off rather than actually say Aishani's reveal is a huge deal. "Boreal must be done with their sweeps." It brings a sly grin to her lips. "Oswinth is calling me." Hence the slow departure. Seeming amused for some reason, fine brows arching a touch, "Fair enough. I should get to finishing up in here anyway." Aishani lets the clipboard go, shifting it down into one hand to wave it idly. The work is still there, whatever her name is. "Tell me how it goes, Vienne?" Beyond that - and her own grin with a little wave - she's back to her adding. The glamour. |
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