Difference between revisions of "Logs:Not Family"

Records Room, High Reaches Weyr

Books. Scrolls. Bound hides. Maps. If it's a record pertaining to the Weyr, it's likely to be in this roughly oval room with its floor-to-ceiling cherrywood shelves, its multitude of slots for scrolls, and its wide drawers for materials that shouldn't be rolled up or folded. A scribe is usually on duty at the tall desk up front with its good view of the room, and is able to help visitors find what they're looking for via the big bound index on its rotating stand. Past the desk, several tables stand in neat rows for note-taking, each stocked with glowbaskets, scrap hide, paper and pencils. Additional lighting is provided by a many-armed wrought-iron light fixture, its glows gleaming through luxurious glass containers in fluted shapes instead of baskets.

To one side of the room, a gap between two sets of shelves outlines where another set once stood, now replaced by a tapestry-covered aperture. Peeking behind the tapestry reveals another cavern, this one likewise full of shelves, but occupied by only a few boxes of older records and a somewhat musty air of disuse. As well, two narrow but solid doors are locked when the room is unattended and a discreet staircase provides direct access from the Weyrleaders' weyrs.

Sure, E'sren was in here a lot in the earlier months of weyrlinghood when he was studying so hard for exams, but he's still easy to find in the records room nowadays. Even though he has his own weyr to read all those books in, and he has a few stacked up on the table while he reads from one in particular, he still comes here to pass time when Ahruth is busy doing something else, Telavi or Sabella are off doing their own things, or he just wants some alone time. There's usually only ever a couple of other people in here with him, those who work here, and they don't bother him. In fact it's terribly quiet in here this afternoon, so much so that when he turns a page it's like he's broken something.

It is the records room and records are the duty of the weyrwomen, so it's not too shocking that Aishani is in and out on a regular basis. She's a tall dark shadow, some days; her boots soft-soled and silent, her movements quick and quiet, her inclination to leave the workers alone. Others, she's less concerned with people taking notice, for whatever reason, amiable enough, if distant. Today, she seems somewhere in between - not worried about anyone paying attention, but loathe to disturb the silence - still, E'sren is with his page turning anyway, and, as she notes once she's approached his table, "I'd been hoping I might run into you. It's been awhile." Her voice is still pitched low, though, in deference to the others.

Sometimes you can tell when someone is approaching you just by the way the atmosphere changes, Aishani's steps are quiet but that shift happens and E'sren first glances to the side with no expression at all, expecting to find one of the recordskeepers or maybe another weyrling, though regardless of who it is he already starts to smile his warm smile. It's that smile that greets Aishani, on purpose or not, and he leans back in the bench to look up at her. "Yeah? You can always find me though," he points out, because dragons, though he doesn't say that. "It has been. How've you been?" Perhaps a loaded question, asked as he gestures with one hand at the seat across from him, in case she'd like to sit.

"It wasn't so important that it required summoning or anything like that." Aishani's tone is light, as if she goes around summoning people to do her bidding and attend to her all the time, but who knows. Anything is possible. She has a smile of her own for E'sren, somewhat warmer than her usual, but brief. As she slides into the seat across from him, she has something a wry quirk of lips for the question. Crossing her legs, flicking dark curls back over her shoulders, "Busy. I assume you've been likewise? Moving, getting set up... it usually takes time."

Now that he has company it seems rude to have an open book between them, so he flips it closed over a ribbon placeholder and pushes it to the side after tapping his fingers on the cover. "Ah. Yeah. That part wasn't too bad, mostly moving everything up was... interesting. Took some creativity and a lot of Ahruth putting up with awkward furniture strapped to him." He shrugs, meets her eyes with his head tilted. "Can I take it to mean, since you don't have any brownies, this is a casual visit?" Which is clearly a joke.

Her sharp dark gaze flickers over to the cover, the spine of the book, curious even if it's not likely that the weyrling is doing anything but... studying weyrling-type things. Aishani glances back to E'sren, fine brows raised a touch as she asks, "Did you want to do it on your own? I'm sure someone would have helped if you'd asked. Iesaryth would have." There's not much in the way of furniture that the gold could find all that awkward. "And do you like your space?" When their eyes meet, she has a quick grin - it comes and goes before, "I haven't had much taste for them myself. And yes. Mostly." A pause. "I'm working on a deal that might interest your mother, but it will take some time to see if it's a decent one. I'd rather know that first."

She might find it curious if she's expecting some old beat-up 'Pern: A History' that the book E'sren is reading is titled 'Up From Bitra'. Regardless, E'sren pays it no mind now, nor her reaction to it, and he folds his arms atop the table to lean slightly into them. "If 'not wanting to bug anyone else' and 'wanting to do it on my own' are the same thing then yeah. Just seemed like something I should do myself, I wouldn't have thought to ask someone who has better things to do." Like he assumes she does. "I do like it though, yeah. It's small but big. I mean you know how it is." To sleep with your family in a wagon, then to sleep in the barracks with everyone, then to sleep on your own all of a sudden without the sound of calm breathing or soft snoring. The last has him lifting his eyebrows. "Oh yeah? What's this deal then?" He asks gently, with a familiarity she might not share but that he seems comfortable enough with.

That is interesting - interesting enough to arch those brows questioningly now, though Aishani doesn't seem to think there's anything strange about it. She folds her hands atop the table neatly for now, one booted foot swinging gently under the table now and then. "'Better' is relative. As are priorities. Though I'm not very good at asking for help either." She glances across the table to E'sren, offers a wry twist of lips. "And... I do in a sense, though I was at Crom for a time before in the caverns here. I... wanted to be alone, though mine is... ridiculous, really. It's more space than either of us need." As for her dealings, that sobers her a touch; her dark eyes serious, "I'm working on something for my family, to get them back on their feet, in decent shape again. I'd know that the people I'm dealing with will treat everyone... equitably before I'd recommend them to anyone else."

"You're better at getting to the point than I am," in regards to asking for help because, yeah, that's kind of what he was saying. E'sren 'ahs' again, nodding and pointing a finger at her. "Right, I forget sometimes that you were at Crom. Sorry. And you're right, it has its perks, being alone I mean. Sleeping is still kind of tricky. And if you think yours is ridiculous, and I think what little I have might be too much, I'm thinking I'd probably just wander and get lost in yours." Since that's decided, he moves on with her. He pushes his mouth out a little, contemplates her explanation, then, "That's pretty vague." A grin before he adds, "Are my family the people you're dealing with, the everyone, or the anyone else?"

Another of those here-and-gone grins before, "Not always, apparently." Aishani shrugs easily, adding, "I doubt you're the only one. I doubt very many people who were actually there remember me or Brieli. And it did..." She pauses, considers her words and E'sren both before; "It did take me some time to sleep well, whether I was alone or not. But... I wasn't sleeping very well then at all." There's a little laugh though, for the idea of actually getting lost - with something almost rueful to her tone, "There's not enough in there. Just... space." Anyway! "Oh. What? Oh! Your family is the anyone else." It takes her a second to get it, but she gets there.

Consider E'sren just generally amused by most of that, judging by his smile. Not for the not sleeping well parts, for obvious reasons, but everything else yes. For the serious stuff he just nods his understanding because yeah, him too, but maybe not for all of that. Then her reply comes and he lifts his eyebrows, also confused when she's momentarily confused, but things clear themselves up shortly. "Okay. So you're working with someone who might also be useful to Ma. What are you thinking? I can talk to her about it if you want, or do you...?"

Aishani doesn't quite know why she's entertaining, by her expression, but she's willing to let it go. Leaning forward, elbows on the table, forearms crossed. For the nod, she just offers quietly, "They can always come back." As if E'sren doesn't know that, as if she hasn't likely said as much before. But once confusion is cleared and they're both on the same page, "I don't know that it's worth going to her yet, but... I thought I might see if it's something she might be interested in. I can see information being useful to most people, and I can see that being... fairly easy for your family to come by."

"Right. Yeah I kind of figured as much." Which isn't said too confidently, like he knew it all along or presumed it to be true, but probably honestly just knows the kinds of deals his mother makes. His brow furrows though and he lifts his chin by a small degree. "Information is useful, but I'm not sure what you mean by them coming by it easily, if that's what you're suggesting. I mean we hear things on the road, and some of it's for our benefit, but there's very little my family needs with most of what they hear. There isn't a lot of... intrigue to our life. In fact if you hadn't sent Seamus to that wedding, they wouldn't have cared much about it at all. Or do you mean information... for you?"

"It's not as if I wouldn't have offered that anyway. We're not family, but... I'd rather help than not." That may or may not be true - it's certainly difficult to tell with Aishani, but she does sound sincere, her dark gaze seems honest. Tilting her head, she tells E'sren lightly, "You might not have need for the things you hear, but others might. Who might be willing to make deals or pay for that sort of advantage. Again... I'm not far along enough in this, I probably shouldn't have said anything." A purse of her lips, then; "I wouldn't ask that, not putting any of your people a tense situation again. If they heard something... well. That's something to discuss with your mother as well, I suppose."

Understanding dawns. "Ah, so they'd tell people what they hear, like with the wedding. Except with the wedding it was you who wanted to know." E'sren quiets, looking down at the table now. At length he says, "Yeah, you should talk to her about it. I can't volunteer them for anything like that, I'm not... a part of that whole process anymore. And I don't know that I'd do it even if I was. And you're right, we're not family." Pause. He looks at her squarely for this. "But maybe a little, we are. I dunno what she'll say." Another pause. "Information is useful." And here the look he's giving her turns into a long, measuring one.

One of her faint smiles surfacing, "Yes. Though ideally, I might like to serve as a go-between, to ensure that your family - and mine - are treated fairly." And perhaps, just maybe so Aishani knows whatever her mysterious partners know, but that's her business... and perhaps good for the Renai's business as well. Though something he says makes her lift fine brows again, blinking briefly. "You're... not? I... Not like me, not like what happened with..." She stops and looks at E'sren for a moment and then realizes no, he wouldn't be just okay with things if his family had cut him off entirely. And then, flushing just a little, she can still meet his gaze, nodding. "Maybe. Maybe I'll have to go speak to her sooner than later." That long, measuring look has her last drawn out, her expression clearly, 'yes?'

He just gives her a little shake of his head in answer to that unfinished question. No, not like her. A different way, kind of the same but also really not at all. "Well if you want to see her I can let her know, write her a letter, have her stop them somewhere we can get to so we don't have to chase them all over the woods. Just let me know." Because somehow for her to write the letter herself seems... wrong? Something. And then the reason for his look comes, when she's so clearly asking for it without words. He's hesitant about it too, but here goes. "What's going on with this place? I talked to a few people. F'manis, Z'ian. Just haven't talked to you yet, figured I'd wait for a good time, but. Ahruth told me about what Iolene did. And that you helped. And none of that stuff has anything to do with me, but... I need to know why you did it."

"I'll let you know," she promises. And though the questions are hesitant, Aishani's expression tightens a touch at them, looking across the table. Lips purse and dark eyes narrow, though it's brief - those really aren't the names to be talking about hanging around with right now. Even so, she considers it for a moment, jaw set, until her vaguely wounded air has vanished. Evenly, "Everyone thinks they know better, so should do whatever they want. Opinions may differ. And you'll have to tell me what you think I did before I can tell you why, because frankly, there's people claiming I masterminded the whole thing. And why not with everyone else dead."

It's that tense-ness that E'sren was the most concerned about. Too late to back out now. When she recovers her cool, which isn't necessarily good, he eyes her a little warily. The last word, emphasized so, makes him wince. "Well," he starts, that's safe right? "Ahruth told me that there was a flight, but not a Flight, and basically someone lied about there ever being a flight and you... might have helped with that. And I'm just trying to figure out... you. I'm trying to figure you out. Why do it? And you don't have to tell me, I can leave right now." He gestures with his hands, see there's the exit.

"Ysavaeth and Iolene convinced Cadejoth and K'del that Ysavaeth rose while they were away, which seemed convenient, but who could prove otherwise? Then, time went on, and once we'd moved into our weyr, I think... so around now, for you... she came to ask me for help." Shani's words are quiet, her tone low, her expression darker for remembering it all, but resigned as she looks down at the table before her. "Because there wasn't going to be a clutch. I had a choice, certainly. But she'd sent me South for Iesaryth, and she was the only Weyrwoman I'd known. She was an outsider, she would have understood, if I'd told her. But I ran out of time for that." She's silent for a time before looking up and across to him, unapologetic. "I owed her, and there were few other options that made sense. I'd rather have seen K'del brought down then, honestly. But I helped her think of a way out of the faked flight, and Iesaryth helped make the Weyr believe the clutch was lost. And she did not want to."

That's a lot of information to take in at once, and it's pretty plain on E'sren's face that he realizes as tough for him to hear this, it was probably tougher to live it. He watches her solemnly while she recounts what happened, still save for the subtle changes in his expression. When she looks at him she'll see a tense jaw and furrowed brow. To know so much, and so little, and to be able to understand even less, is a difficult thing. Eventually he speaks. "I'm sorry, Aishani." Probably not the first thing that popped into his head. "I'm so sorry you went through everything you went through." He searches her face for something he doesn't mention and presses his lips together. "But I feel like you have to come back from it. Or it's gonna keep deciding who you are."

Looking at him with some bemusement, then with an edge of annoyance, Aishani says, "You don't have to be sorry, E'sren. It's over. I never should have told K'del, that was my mistake. I was past this; he dug it up, handed it to Z'ian to spread around the Weyr. Look, I held this place together when Iolene died and we were left alone, Azaylia and I. I know how to get past it and hold my shit together. You asked me what happened, I told you. It's not an easy thing to talk about." And she doesn't need your pity or sympathy either, dammit! Starting to push back from the table, she adds tightly, "It's the truth. It's all that we did. Ahruth can ask Iesaryth. She doesn't lie." No matter what anyone says.

It's going about as well as anyone could expect, really. When she reacts like that, E'sren looks, well... unsurprised. You just don't enter into some conversations thinking everything's going to end well, and this was one of those. Still, he isn't anything but concerned when she pushes back as if she's about to leave. Also not unexpected, but still. "I get that, I know it can't be easy. But I'm not the one looking like she's about to book it out of here." He can't even take the time to appreciate a pun. He must feel like he's already lost because his shoulders slump, then shrug, and he turns his hands out at her, palms first. "Go, fine. All I'm saying is it'd be a real fucking shame if you let all of this turn you into someone you might not wanna be. And I never said anything about Iesaryth lying."

She stands slowly, hands on the table; it takes a moment before she looks over at him. Every once in awhile, it occurs to Aishani that there's a few of the weyrlings that are, in fact, older than her, if not by that much - that you know, E'sren might be aware of something she's not already. Perhaps a little dully, "Someone has to do what no one else is willing to, yes? Someone has to cross the line. I spent my life training myself to do just that, so why not put my skills to use for... something productive." Not for good, never. Her head bows for a moment, curls obscuring her expression before she straightens with a sigh. "I need a drink. My apologies for the interruption, but I hope it was at least... enlightening."

All E'sren can really do is look up at her, shake his head slowly and shrug again. He's already said his things, there's nothing more to say for now, so he just says the only thing he can say. "No apologies necessary." He leans back, grabs his book to open it as calmly as possible back to the page he was on, and lets her take her leave without further questioning or advice.

Shani's fingers trail along the edge of the table and tap it lightly as she moves away, but she's quiet as she retraces her steps into the council chambers, and presumably back to her weyr.