Logs:Stuck In The Middle
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| RL Date: 21 March, 2013 |
| Who: K'del, Vienne |
| Type: [[Concept:{{{type}}}|{{{type}}}]] |
| What: Vienne drops in to see K'del. He's... not really sure if he should talk to her anymore. Because he sucks. |
| Where: Lights in Darkness Weyr, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day {{{day}}}, Month {{{month}}}, Turn {{{turn}}} ({{{IP}}} {{{IP2}}}) |
| Mentions: Aishani/Mentions |
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| Lights in Darkness Weyr, High Reaches Weyr A heavy, brocade curtain separates the ledge from the weyr within, which opens up into a long, wide wallow and a walkway beside it. There's easily enough room for a bronze in here; the ceiling is high enough that sound tends to echo. Down the wall beside the walkway, small circles appear to float within the dim light like miniature moons; a high panel of them that's perhaps four or five times as long as a man is tall. They end abruptly as the wall curves around and opens out into the rest of the weyr. It's a good sized weyr, and laid out nicely with a fine collection of solid, expensive furniture. A niche off to one side offers built-in shelving and a desk set out beneath it, while much of the rest of the space has been taken up by a couch and several chairs, laid out in front of the hearth. It's reflective, that hearth, made up of squares tiled on point, many of which look very new indeed. To one side of that is a dark opening that might be another niche, or perhaps a passageway. A tunnel leads off from that dark opening - narrow, if still tall. It turns a corner and then opens out into an expansive room set against the other side of the hearth. Most of /this/ space is taken up by a bed that has clearly been made to fit the space exactly, although there's still room to step around to another niche - this one with a plugged basin above and a drain below. There are more of those moons here, too: moons that glow with light from the room beyond. In the time since Bri--Aishani's announcement, K'del's been a relatively visible figure, and not one prone to outbursts or moments of madness (thankfully). In fact, more than a few people seem willing to overlook all of that in order to remember the K'del who was involved in 'solving' the Vijay problem way back when. On this particular cool, damp afternoon, however, the one-time Weyrleader is at home, using the breeze to air out bed linens and clothes, all strung from haphazard ropes out on the ledge. He's barefoot, despite the cool stone underfoot, and seems... largely content. Cadejoth, in contrast, is nowhere to be seen: out flying, somewhere, no doubt, so helpfully leaving the ledge for his rider. K'del has been around, so has Vienne, and though they've surely bumped into each other now and then, the bluerider has left the interaction to simple things: small smiles, pleasant greetings, and glances that say she'll catch up with him sometime. That time has come. With Cadejoth out and K'del on the ledge, Oswinth calls out a heads-up warning as he aims to land, thankfully managing to do so without getting tangled in laundry lines. He takes stock of his limbs, making sure everything is still in order and meanwhile, Vienne is slow to hop down from his shoulder, like she isn't sure what to expect from the bronzerider. But her expression is at least hopeful when she asks, "Busy?" It's windy enough already that Oswinth's wings (and his landing in general) don't have any particular impact on the laundry lines, though K'del does reach for the knot that ties them to the pole contraption, just to make sure-- it holds, thankfully. Having reassured himself of that, he turns, giving Vienne a look that is difficult to completely place, though it's not unfriendly. His nod speaks to resignation, somehow, even though it clearly isn't answering her question, since he waves a hand towards the passage indoors. "Not so busy I can't spare some time. How are you, Vienne?" His reservation must not be entirely unexpected, as Vienne is hardly baffled by his reluctance to offer a warm greeting. But then she was not among those to publicly walk out after the big announcement and her lunch dates with Brieli-Aishani were hardly in secret. She draws in a deep breath before climbing down to the stone and leaving Oswinth with a quick pet to his shoulder as if one of them needs reassurance. "I'm alright," she answers casually, even if there's definitely some tension in the air. But pretending that everything is normal doesn't seem to have much appeal today. As the small woman follows K'del inside, her hands together like an obedient child and her heeled boots noisy compared to his barefeet, she asks quietly, "Do you think I'm your enemy now?" "Enemy?" He sounds surprised by that, glancing over his shoulder to study her expression. "No." It's followed by an exhale, a long one that is not far off a sigh, as he turns his head back, moving to perch on the couch, feet drawn up to the edge of it, his arms resting loosely upon his raised knees. "But you'll understand if I'm cautious, given givens. It's not that everyone must be on a side, one or the other, and everyone else is an enemy. Nothing's so black-and-white." The 'but' goes unspoken, but perhaps it's visible in his expression. Vienne follows, choosing to stand in front of K'del, whose head is now so much more level with her own. There's little in her posture to suggest she expects to be invited to a seat, but her hands start to unbutton her tan coat anyway. "You don't trust me and you feel uncomfortable," she says with a quiet note of regret. "I don't feel there's anything I can say. If I'd done something, I could apologize for it." And she lets her own silent 'but' fill the space that follows. "You seem to be doing well," she remarks with a hitch to one side of her mouth as her eyes scan over the perched man. "No," he corrects, though it's presumably for the first set of statements, and not the last. K'del's chin lifts, his blue eyes regarding Vienne levelly. "It's not that. You haven't done anything, and you're perfectly allowed to be her friend, if you so wish." He sounds as though he's trying very hard to be generous, and not bitter, though his 'her' shows very distinct dismissal and even... pity? "She's a broken person. She needs friends, too. It's not you I don't trust; it's her. She'll use anyone she can to get to me, and that makes me wary." He even sounds apologetic. "I'm fine. Doing fine." "I didn't know, K'del," Vienne says then, her glance casting off around the room, like it will stumble on a solution among his things. "I didn't know when I tried to suggest she talk to you. I didn't know before she made her announcement." It comes out rather spontaneously, particularly given its source, and she looks back at his level gaze as his comments sink in more fully. She lets out a silent, helpless kind of laugh. "If you so wish," she parrots at him. "You want to say it's okay for me to be friends with her, but you don't mean it. You want to say there aren't black and white sides, but there are, for you. Because you can't trust anyone who would associate with her." She shakes her head, letting her eyes fall toward the ground, mouth pinched small. "I'm perfectly allowed to be her friend..." 'But not yours' is palpable even if she doesn't say it. K'del's head shakes, a protest beginning to launch itself from his expression, from his mouth, from every suddenly sharp line of his body-- though it falters, a moment later. "Don't believe you knew," he said. "Never thought that. Can you get it, though? Why this is so hard? She hates me for protecting my people. She hates me because I punished her family for doing the wrong thing. So I was, what, supposed to just let them keep doing it? Rob us blind? I--" His feet slide back towards the floor, though he doesn't move to stand. "I'm sorry. Know it's not your fault. Know it's not fair of me to-- just makes me so angry. I pity her, you know that? Because she's wasted her life on this. And yes, it bothers me that people don't see a problem with her. With what she's done, what she's doing. She let I'kris be sent to his death, but I'm a monster for having her thief of a father executed?" "I do get it," Vienne answers with a nod, the dip of her chin never quite lifting up again. "It just makes me... sad." She takes a breath to steel herself against the feeling, however not-steely she might end up looking afterwards as the exhale drops her shoulders in a defeated slump. "I don't know what she thinks or why she's done what she has. But if she wants to tell me, I'll listen. It doesn't mean I'll agree with her." A hand comes up to rub her fingertips along an eyebrow as she frowns through her thoughts. "But I understand that you're angry." Quietly, and with far less intensity than his previous words, K'del says, "She makes me sad. She loses. We all lose. It's such a waste." His expression is more restrained, now, as he studies Vienne's face, his nod a half-tilt, just subtle. "I'm tired," he says. "Tired of being blamed for things that I did for the right reasons. Only ever did my very best for this Weyr, but it's never enough, is it? How dare I punish a thief. How dare I take opportunities that benefit my Weyr. How dare I take steps to get rid of a Weyrwoman who was hurting the Weyr I love." None of that has anything to do with Vienne, and he seems conscious of it, abruptly shaking his head to push the thoughts away. "I'm sorry this puts you in the middle. I just... I can't. I'm sorry. I don't hate her. I feel sorry for her. But she hates me, and that means I need to be careful." "She hasn't really spoken about you in the way that... that you say she feels." But Vienne is quick to shake her head, lest he jump to conclusions. "Which isn't to say that I don't believe you. I just don't have any evidence. Maybe you're right. Maybe it has all been a waste. Maybe it has all been hate and darkness. But I'd rather..." She closes her mouth over what she'd rather do, eyes hunting the floor again, his bare feet in her periphery. Her weight shifts so that one boot is free to rub the toe across the floor. "You know I don't blame you for any of that. I don't have any blame to place on anyone." But what he says is true, she's in the middle, no matter what anyone would prefer. She lifts her glance to him, a tenative attempt to meet his eye. "I try to be careful. I wouldn't want to see her hurt you." K'del, too, seems more interested in staring at the floor than at Vienne, or anything else. It's not even his bare toes he's focused on: just bare stone, worn by the ages. Perhaps he senses Vienne's lifted gaze, though, because his follows suit, his blue eyes meeting hers. He nods, just once. "Always knew she didn't like me for some reason," he says, quietly. "Never knew why that was, until now. And... it's not like I completely blame her? Know I'd find it hard to tolerate the person who had my father killed, whatever-- but it's the extent of it. The purpose. I'm sorry, Vienne. I know you don't want to see me hurt. I do. I'm trying. Rather be your friend than not. I'll try. It's just... too soon, now. To know what to think, maybe. How to feel. Except that I intend to take this Weyr back." Surprise. "And that you can tell her." "I don't know what her purpose is. I don't know what her aim is. I've only spoken to her once since..." The announcement. "She seemed different, but I don't know what that means, either." And there Vienne's brow furrows faintly, a sigh leaking out as she tips her head to the side to give K'del a meaningful look, like she might be able to will him to understand. "Don't you see, I'd rather know." But she doesn't really seem to hold out much hope that the bronzerider is going to be coming around any time soon. So she swallows the impulse down and wets her lips. "I'm not telling her anything. And I resent that. I don't deserve it." She rolls her shoulders in her jacket like she can shake off the injury of his words. For a moment, it looks like her hands are going to go about buttoning her coat up again, but instead she just stuffs them in her pockets. "I'm--" Fuck. K'del looks appalled, clearly at his own words. "I'm sorry. Fuck, that was wrong of me." It's obvious he doesn't really understand the rest of it, that he's so wrapped up in his own perspective it's hard to step out of it, to look at it from another. Ultimately, he shakes his head. "Give me time, Vienne. I'm still trying to get my head around how things have changed. That's all." "Everyone is," Vienne tells him, apparently accepting his apology enough that the words are gentle again. She even manages a small smile for him, sad still, but a smile nonetheless. "Take all the time you need. You know where to find me, whenever you're ready." She let's that smile gain a little strength, and then she turns toward the ledge. K'del's smile is barely there, though it's obvious he's trying to encourage it into himself. His nod is a little firmer, made as he rises-- even if he doesn't move to follow her towards the ledge. "Thanks, Vienne," he says, quietly. "I'll try."
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