Logs:Headlines
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| RL Date: 26 July, 2013 |
| Who: Aishani |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: Aishani reflects on her recent decisions and apparent future. |
| Where: Wagon, Southern Continent |
| When: Early Month 5, Turn 32 |
| Mentions: Madilla/Mentions, N'rov/Mentions, Azaylia/Mentions, Jyani/Mentions, Jo/Mentions |
| OOC Notes: I'm not a big fan of Drake, but 'Headlines' has always been on Bri/Aishani's playlist as it seemed to reflect her relationship with her family -- as time has gone on, it's fit in other ways, and I was listening to it when it sort of inspired this. The piece that's always worked best for me is: "Yeah, I be yelling out money over everything, money on my mind/Then she wanna ask when it got so empty/Tell her I apologize, it happened over time/She says they miss the old Drake, girl don't tempt me/If they don't get it, they'll be over you/That new shit that you got is overdue/You better do what you supposed to do/I'm like "why I gotta be all that", but still I can't deny the fact that it's true." [Video] -- [Lyrics] |
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| Aishani couldn't forget Madilla telling her not to abandon High Reaches. As if High Reaches hadn't abandoned her, more than once. As a child, terrified and hiding from her riders in the cold early morning light; as a young woman, when she'd put aside who and what she was -- everything she'd lived her whole life to achieve -- to lead them when she thought no one else could. She wished she'd thought to say that at the time. Clever responses seldom came to her so late, and it bothered her, as did the missed opportunity to inflict guilt on someone else who had been at the Weyr when her family was so mistreated. She wondered if the Healer, with children of her own, had thought of the trader children, or if they'd just been an abstraction at the time. Sometimes, thinking of how concerned everyone was for their own children, their own families, the stores Shani so carefully watched even now, when they'd just left her to starve on her own... it made her so angry her hands shook, she felt ill, she had to leave, to run somewhere, anywhere else to get it out of her system somehow. More often than not, it was South, like today, to do something mindless and manual with the wagon. She'd throw knives at the tree she and N'rov used for practice if it was worse. She knew she'd done a good job. She knew she'd been strong where she needed to be. And she knew the only mistake she'd ever made was giving in, giving up, stepping aside when she'd gotten to where she was only by wits, will, and sheer audaciousness. She'd accomplished so much and let it dissolve in a fit of pique -- one that was entirely justified, granted, but still. Aishani would never admit to an error in judgment, never allow to anyone beyond Iesaryth and N'rov that she might have done something wrong. Her image was not that of a woman that made missteps. Or that's what she liked to think, at least. In the end, it seemed that it wouldn't have made that much of a difference, unless she could find some way to nudge Iesaryth into flight earlier than Hraedhyth... and that was a dead end so far. She could have hung on until the bitter end, but would have there been a point to it? Shani wasn't entirely sure. Legitimacy in leadership would certainly help the Weyr, and continuing on in a less politically obvious position would definitely aid in her projects to raise a bit of capital for herself and the family, but she was equally unsure of her status once everything was settled and Azaylia was firmly in charge. She had to wonder though, what Weyr might accept them as a transfer after everything -- they might be "Reaches' problem" for some time to come. It was strange to consider that a possible advantage, but she needed time at the very least. Time to coordinate with Jo, to build something that would sustain her family for some time, that would make money for her. She liked having it, liked spending it... and if she was honest with herself, she liked being able to supplement the Weyr as she'd planned. Jyani still argued with her about telling someone about that, anyone, given what some of the rumors were, but Shani told her the same thing she'd told Jo -- she had no interest in buying anyone's forgiveness or respect. Jyani didn't like that, but there wasn't much she could do without risking being sent home.... though her cousin did point out that she had no issue buying their family's forgiveness. That got Jyani sent back to the caverns. It also stung. But it did mean she knew how important it all was, even though Shani herself didn't know why. The people who knew her knew how important everything she put herself into was, maybe the reasons for that, better than she did. That was all right. Aishani had never needed much in the way of reasons. All she needed was action. |
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