Difference between revisions of "Logs:We All Change"

What there is of the winter sun in the skies has yet to truly burn through and make much difference to the freezing temperatures that crept over Fort during the night, what remains of recent snowfall frozen now to dangerous ice, tiny slivers of the sharp stuff mixed in with the snowy-sandy mix that lines the shore of the lake. It's certainly not the right weather for human or dragon bathing, unless one is either brave or stupid, and Hattie is neither of those things today, wrapped up in a long, fur-lined leather jacket with its voluminous hood pulled up. Turned not towards the icy water, but towards the bowl, she leans in against Elaruth's shoulder as Weyrwoman and queen observe the slow traffic to and from the caverns, some poor souls acquainting themselves with the ground almost the very same moment that they step outside.

It's certainly cold, but the chill is merely bracing compared to the heat of the hatching cavern, and not-so-chilly compared to the high dry winds of the high mountains -- but that doesn't mean Aishani's not dressed for the weather either, wine-dark jacket with high fur collar attached, just a shade below 'ridiculously big', knit cap to match over glossy curls. She has a beaten cloth bag slung over her shoulder as well, though there's little purpose in her stride beyond the need for air and space. That is, until the hooded Weyrwoman and her queen are spotted, and her steps direct her that way briskly, while above, Iesaryth launches from her circumspect place on the rim to start to spiral down toward the lake.

Given the clutch on the Sands, of recent times Elaruth has been more watchful of those who pass through Fortian airspace, and so though Iesaryth may have been /noticed/ and noted, she's enough of a familiar figure to not be /watched/ unless she does something particularly curious, or, of course, moves nearer, for it would then be rude not to acknowledge her. The little queen's gentle greeting is wordless, only the soft nudge of sparkling mists against Iesaryth's mind, the other Senior's rider kept in her line of vision so that she might extend a quiet clatter of a 'hello' to her too. Hattie's senses are a moment behind her queen's, her dark eyes lifting from watching the slow progress of one of the Weyr's older residents to find Aishani, a small smile offered in her direction.

Iesaryth is always polite enough to send the drift of the tides and a sea-salt breeze of greeting Elaruth and Bijedth's wave when she arrives, clutch or no, but she seems to remember -- or be able to draw from her rider's mind -- the little queen's caution about eggs on her Sands. Even if she might have initially had her own reasons for staying off the cavern's ledges and sticking to the rim, her interest is clear, perhaps less in the eggs than what they may /become/. As she lands nearby, there's bubbly seafoam for the other gold, pleased to see her /physically/ for once. Her rider lifts a hand in greeting to Hattie and Elaruth both, offering a faint smile of her own. "How are you feeling? Unless you're tired of hearing that? And thank you for the gift. I was bad and opened it early." She fails to look ashamed.

From Elaruth's reaction to Iesaryth's presence, you might think that queens wouldn't ever have the potential to be rivals, for once she's satisfied that she's greeted Aishani, the pale queen immediately turns to seek out the 'Reaches Senior, padding steadily along snowy-sands to meet her younger counterpart, though she doesn't invade her personal bubble of space for all her eagerness. Hattie has to push back against Elaruth's broad shoulder to make sure she maintains her balance, even if her lifemate is very careful indeed not to knock at or nudge her as she slips away down the shore. "Not so bad, actually," Hattie answers with a fair amount of relief. "Could be worse, all things considered." Where Aishani fails to look ashamed, she fails to look at all rueful for the early sending of the aforementioned gift. "You're welcome. I thought it was time something... more official was offered too. Taikrin never struck me as the sort to enjoy /wine/. And I've not heard how Azaylia is taking to... truly being a junior."

Iesaryth is glad to have Elaruth come over! She's just kind of big, so likes to leave some room when she lands, even if it's rather graceful for her size. The sunburst queen is also rather laid-back, so the thought of rivalry isn't like to enter her head unless it's someone's time to rise. And perhaps unfortunately for Reaches... not quite yet. Unslinging the bag from her shoulder, "That's good to hear, at least. We have... a pregnant weyrling." Now that from Aishani, /that's/ rueful. "Can you believe it? She's all right on and off, but right now, she apparently can't bear to smell klah. I can't see how she manages." There's a wrinkle of her nose before she has to flash a grin Hattie's way. "No, Taikrin doesn't like wine much. Nor does Azaylia, actually, so it all works out well. And she... Well. She /seems/ happy when she's busy." A pause. "She doesn't like secrets. We haven't been as friendly of late." A touch regretful, but resigned.

A younger Hattie might have been embarrassed by the sight of little Elaruth next to a younger and larger Iesaryth, but this one seems to find it amusing or comforting in some fashion, for she spends more than a few seconds glancing over her shoulder towards the two queens, unable to quite rid herself of a faintly silly smile when she looks back at Aishani. "You have a /what/?" she utters, smile swallowed by quite the befuddled stare. "How-" Quick as anything, she holds up one hand to try and stay any response about /that/. "Okay, I know /how/, but... being a bit quick off the mark with that sort of thing, isn't she?" She shakes her head a little, soon adding, "Well, if she's going through with it, I suppose that says... something of character." Something indeed. "I never could imagine Azaylia not being as earnestly honest as she seems," is said more softly. "It feels like a strength in her, but I could never be..." The same.

With a fond glance of her own for the pair of queens, Aishani notes, "She's happy to sit with her. I suppose they don't do that often." And Hattie's befuddlement and amazement doesn't cause the least offense -- she laughs quietly at the hand held up, nodding, expression still abashed and a little bemused herself. Wryly, "From the timing, they were rather ahead of the curve, as it were. Or maybe not, with this lot. Honestly, I can /understand/, but I waited till I had my own place, yes?" She lifts fine brows the other goldrider's way like 'can you believe these kids?' -- some of which could be older than /her/. Smirking, "I think her reasoning is somewhat more romantic, but she has good friends at least. And... I think I know what you mean. There are those that value honesty above all else. I just wonder how it would affect relations sometimes. I believe Azaylia thinks it would make things better... but I am less certain." Big surprise.

"I suppose some queens /can't/," Hattie considers, aiming another quick look back at the two golds. "Sit together without sniping at each other, I mean." She has an exaggerated shrug for those 'kids'. "I don't know... I don't think it will be the last time that weyrlings get up to all sorts in dark corners of the Weyr," she sighs, though there /is/ a slightly embarrassed glance down at the ground made, unable to deliver that statement one hundred percent guilt-free. "And if they aren't going to learn that actions have consequences then, then when are they going to learn?" As far as honesty goes, the tug of her lips into a not-quite grimace is agreement enough without any words to accompany it. "Azaylia may one day be able to turn a reputation for honesty into something to her advantage," she muses lowly, almost like a warning. "Though I'm not sure I'd want her to be anything other than she is. Are you finding it any easier? The knot, Taikrin... all of it?"

"Iesaryth isn't terribly territorial or... snipey. Not most of the time. She has her moods, but usually less /at/ anyone then generally... moody." Not today, though -- today, the queen is all sunny skies and calm seas. "Nice that they can, at least." Aishani shrugs a little for what weyrlings might get up to, and while she might have a wicked little grin and a bit of a flush to her cheeks for it, she doesn't look guilty. "I'd have hoped if they were going to get up to something, they'd be smart about it, but... yes. At least they /both/ have to live with the consequences. It's not as if we're going to pretend she got herself pregnant." Hattie's near-warning brings a nod, a purse of lips before, "I think people have been trying to turn it to her advantage recently. And... I wouldn't want her to have to change. It's part of the reason... things are as they are." The other woman's last causes her to consider for a time. "There's a routine. But it's /tiring/. No one's ever happy. I think making a point is good. But I think a proper goldflight will be better for the Weyr. It's been some time."

Hattie huffs out quiet laughter, saying, "I wouldn't put it past some girls to claim 'I don't know how it happened'." And given the roll of her eyes, she might actually have heard that one before. "At least she's not trying that one." The sympathy in her gaze as she acknowledges Aishani's response isn't cloyingly overdone, but a matter-of-fact understanding of the way things can be. "Someone has to take charge," she can agree. "Routine is better than the alternative. And I think we both know that very rarely are people going to be /happy/. I'm not sure that they ever see that someone has to pay the price for keeping things in order as best they can be." She turns and tilts her head slightly, keeping both queens and Weyrwoman in her line of sight for a fraction of a second. "...What if it's Hraedhyth?"

"I suppose that's one way to avoid giving up the other guilty party," Aishani says wryly. "Though why you'd want to... Oh, here I am, holding this..." She offers the cloth bag over to Hattie, with a brief, small smile. "A friend's mother makes creams and such -- there's one that ought to be good for stretch marks, she said? And just a toy for your youngest. People tell me they get jealous of the presents for the baby-to-come, they're so used to being the baby." A little shrug for that before sighing, "I'd settle for a lack of complaints, really. But there's always something... and no, I don't think people see that there are prices to be paid. Reasons for doing as we do." The last question doesn't seem to come as a surprise; her dark gaze shifts to the queens as well, as if Iesaryth might have shifted shades in the meantime. "Sometimes, I think I'd be glad to be rid of it. But sometimes... I don't know. These people we deal with... they're not good people, necessarily. Holders or not. But if it is..." It is.

Hattie carefully reaches out to accept the bag with a smile of her own and a genuine, "Thank you," as she lowers her gaze to take a peek inside before meaning to decant the gifts, assuming Aishani needs the bag back. Her eyes widen slightly at the prospect of a envious Nimarie, a wry smile tugging at one corner of her mouth. "I hadn't thought... my eldest was jealous of her once... I think she's very much used to not having to share her father with any siblings. She's a stubborn little thing," said with a mother's love, "who might not take kindly to having us fuss over her baby brother or sister." There's something to warn N'muir about! "I will make sure she knows who it's from. She's starting to learn some of her letters - you might get a scribbled picture of a feline and a squiggle identifiable as a name in return," she goes on, her smile easing to distant affection for the child not present. "Sometimes I think it would be easier to be a junior again... Then I think I would go mad having to /watch/ things happen. If only our knots weren't bound by /biology/. Then, there are ways to be a junior that don't involve being so... subservient, shall we say."

Waving off the whole bag thing, Aishani tells Hattie, "It's not as if I won't be by again." With a smirk that's belied by a brightness in dark eyes, "There's a work in progress in the hatching cavern I'm to check in on. Not the eggs, no." Because that would be normal. Sliding hands in pockets, "Stubborn. Then yes, perhaps something to keep an eye on. Though you never know, sometimes they go the other way and are quite protective. And really. Well, if I do, I'll have to save it. All my cousins are past the scribble-and-squiggle stage. Not past stubborn." Her own smile is warm, though it shades to something more amused for the other woman's last. With a nod, "I feel that the way we choose leadership... may leave something to be desired. But at the same time, I don't imagine all that much might change, if I so choose. I always have something to do."

"This... is true," Hattie supposes with an answering smirk, closing up the bag as if to protect all from a blizzard sweeping up out of nowhere, the evidence of recent days suffering at the hands of winter having formed low dunes to accompany the icy floor of the bowl. "I do wonder about him sometimes..." she has to confess, no guesses as to the /him/, but it's all quite without any trace of malice. Bemusement, yes, there's that. "Well, now we'll definitely have to encourage a scribble-and-squiggle. If she's caught sight of Iesaryth on her travels, you might even get a scribble of her." As for leadership, she feels moved to say, "It /is/ the respected way of doing things and little can be done to argue with it, more tricky circumstances aside. In that, it is safer for many concerned. Easier, perhaps." And sometimes, easier is... easier.

With a wide grin, quite as if she can't help herself, Aishani has to say, "He just needs things to keep him occupied." But thankfully, /predictably/, she doesn't elaborate -- at least on any shared occupations. "Does she like dragons, Nimarie? I suppose she'd have to, but does she like any ones in particular? So much of my family is still a bit... wary. And Iesaryth /is/ quite big." She seems to understand a mother's worry that a large dragon might mistakenly squash a child. Glancing sidelong to Hattie with a quirk of lips, "True. And there's some theory... that might be bearing out, to be honest... that the dragons can /feel/ it when it's a bronze and a gold, when everyone /knows/ where things stand. As much as I'd like to believe biology has little to do with that part... I'm not so sure. Do you feel like the dragons here just /know/ to look to Elaruth, feel her presence that much more innately?"

'Occupied' earns a lift of brows solely in play, but Hattie is wise enough to not ask after that word, settling the borrowed bag over one shoulder in the brief silence that might have held a question. "Dragons and felines seem to be a big hit with Nimarie. She's had both Elaruth and Bijedth as babysitters. I think she feels safe with them. There's my uncle's brown too, but... I think it has a lot to do with whether a dragon likes /people/. Elaruth is rather obvious about it, which people either seem to find delightful or frightening." Not much of a middle ground then. "Is Iesaryth good with your family?" It's likely a subconscious thing that has her glancing towards the leaders' ledges before she can form what she would deem an proper response about golds and bronzes. "I think there might be something to it," she eventually says, words forming slowly. "Elaruth and Bijedth seem to have a strong presence as a pair; they are obviously mates. /They/ are the leaders. I don't know whether it's her sensitivity that has her tuned into the Weyr so or that they /know/ to look to her."

"Dragons and felines. I suppose there's some similarities, though I never really thought of a dragon as a babysitter. I'm not sure I'd trust her not to get distracted. Or nap." There's a glance over to the dragon in question, who does not seem to be napping at the moment, at least. Aishani has a grin for Hattie, noting, "I imagine it's difficult to feel indifferent about something that size finding you interesting. And Iesaryth is, but she stays a little way away from camp, still. There are some that still don't deal well with dragons. The younger ones are always curious, though. She doesn't mind their talk." It's likely habit that has her following the Fortian Weyrwoman's gaze, as if history might have answers left on the ledges. She too considers before, "I would think being mates would help. It's... fortunate, for you. For the Weyr, it seems, but personally fortunate. And I'd imagine sensitivity helps. But I suppose we'll see. Sooner than later, I'd hope. The uncertainty has been difficult, for all we've managed well enough."

"I think it helps that she likes babies," Hattie utters wryly. "And we've never been too far away. Some dragons are too unpredictable and I'd not let her near them." If one can ever tell that an unpredictable dragon is going to be unpredictable. "But I can see why they would be... concerned, even if no harm is meant at all. It's considerate of Iesaryth to keep that distance. I think there are some dragons that wouldn't understand or consider it to be a personal slight." Her glance up at her fellow Weyrwoman is a little hesitant, but she speaks frankly all the same. "I used to think that there being a personal component to things would be a very bad idea. I've never minded what the dragons feel. I had one of my best friends for a Weyrleader once and it could get... awkward. Difficult. But this is... different. /I'm/ different." Yet she can't or won't elaborate any further than that, shaking her head slightly as if to tell herself off for being silly. "For what it's worth, I think you're doing a good job," she tells Aishani sincerely. "I think you would do a good job if it /is/ her. She seems a calm, sensible sort. A Weyr needs that."

"Mm. Indeed." Aishani has a few dragons in mind, by her tone, by her expression and the twist of her mouth. With her own reluctant glance Hattie's way, "I think some of them... can't help it. They remember what happened, even so long ago, and it's a little like it's happening again. There's not many that are like that, but..." She shrugs, glancing away -- uncomfortable admitting to even other people's weaknesses. "And I can see that, how one might think it would be a bad idea, or when it's a different sort of relationship... I don't know. I don't know what I want, really. It's a bit of a luxury; I've not had that for... so long." Watching the other goldrider shake her head with something approaching warmth in her dark gaze, "We all change, I suppose. People do that to us. Bad influences." That last is said lightly, with a grin that fades a touch for the last. "That means a lot, Hattie. Weyrwoman. It does. I never thought... I'd be in a place where I'd want someone to tell me that I'd do well for High Reaches."

"But brave of them to try," Hattie murmurs, not approval, nor sympathy, for she has no right to truly offer either, but her opinion shared, low-voiced. "Sometimes, maybe it's better not to know," she supposes. "More avenues open that you might not see otherwise. More ways to see until... it's time." She angles a sly smirk across at Aishani, remarking, "People are /awful/," for once meant in jest and not a savage stab at the nature of others. "And well... it gave you /her/, didn't it? In a roundabout way." Accompanied with a nod towards their queens. "I can... hate what this Weyr has made me do, but I have to love it because it's /hers/." That, it appears, is acceptable in its rough honesty, said with pride and not regret. "Anyway. Do you need to head back or do you have time for a drink? I might need one before I dare look into the galleries again." She must be joking, given her condition, but the invitation stands.

Aishani can agree, over a heavy breath, "At least we're talking. It took a deal, but I suppose we're traders. It has a certain... something to it. Rightness." Even if it is family. Offering Hattie a faint smile, "And maybe it is. At least if I go back and forth, truly... perhaps I won't be disappointed, whatever the outcome. Though I /will/ stab K'del, I warned him." That's quite serious, nose wrinkling at the very idea. Disgusting! But that goes away for a smirk in return, nodding her compatriot's way before, "Terrible, really. And I suppose I have time for one. I'm not heading back just yet -- I haven't tracked N'rov down, but I knew I had to look first. Otherwise... I'd probably have to go /right then/. Not that I notice the minor details, but... I pretend." As for the rest, she considers. Eventually, "In a roundabout way, yes. In some ways, I feel like I've always been tied there. But that's not a story for drinks. You should tell me all about how awful being pregnant is. Quielle's enough, I think, but I want to be sure I'm put off for a good few turns." She offers her arm, as the snow-sand might not be the best for walking.

Unfortunately, Hattie cannot blame inappropriately-timed, bright as can be laughter on being pregnant. She doesn't even try, but hastens to say, "Nothing meant - it's just oddly joyful to hear someone express such sentiments towards /that boy/." The boy that she won't even name. It takes her a few moments to compose herself and stop grinning such a feral grin, but soon it takes on a teasing edge as she gratefully and gently tucks her hand in against Aishani's offered arm. "Well, how many turns are you wanting to be put off for? How much of a horror story are you looking for...?" Surely she /won't/ paint such an awful picture, but she can /play/ at it along the way.