Logs:Time to Fight

Time to Fight
Maybe it was just that she knew too well what it was like to have your whole world fall apart and wouldn't wish it on anyone.
RL Date: 29 January, 2013
Who: Brieli
Type: [[Concept:{{{type}}}|{{{type}}}]]
What: After Brieli (Aishani) tells K'del the truth of Ysavaeth's last flight and before she recruits Jo, she wonders why she hasn't tried to destroy High Reaches.
Where: Nighthearth, High Reaches Weyr
When: Day 3, Month 12, Turn 30 (Interval 10)
Mentions: K'del/Mentions, Iolene/Mentions, Azaylia/Mentions, H'kon/Mentions, Taikrin/Mentions, Lujayn/Mentions, Tiriana/Mentions, Leova/Mentions, Serah/Mentions
OOC Notes: Nolan Ross quote courtesy 'Revenge'.
Aishani sat by the nighthearth, staring into the fire. The heat was slowly unthawing her toes, frozen from being outside in too-thin boots for too long, but she hadn't expected that. She hadn't wanted to raise her voice to K'del either, even a little. But it was so hard to keep her calm in the face of his anger when she was the one who had every right and reason to hate him, to want him to hurt. Even if it never felt quite as good as she wanted it to when she saw pain in his expression. She hoped telling him about Ysavaeth would buy her the time she wanted. Take some of that self-righteous wind out of his sails, as if every decision he'd made had been so perfect, everything he'd done had been beyond reproach. Like he hadn't been Weyrleader to chaos. Why did she even try to convince him that she'd done the right thing all along? Why did she argue in the first place? Why was she fighting so hard for this, this place that had taken so much from her? « It happened because your inner gladiator's finally waking up. » Iesaryth was amused. Perhaps inner Hraedhyth. Though water couldn't be blocked forever either, it wore every barricade down eventually; likewise Aishani wasn't someone to be stopped. If she had to fight, she would fight. « You do what you must. » She supposed that was true. Nothing in her would allow her to step back. It was difficult not to push harder, not to do things she knew that she could do... or have Iesaryth do. K'del hadn't realized all of what she'd told him. They'd helped Iolene and Ysavaeth. Not just Shani, but Iesaryth. Through Ysavaeth, Iesaryth saw the how of putting that false weight on the Weyr. She'd supported it, convinced the Weyr of the other gold's tragedy and soothed them over it. Certainly, Shani's bond with Iesaryth was easier to manage than Azaylia and Hraedhyth's, but... due to Iolene's secrets, they'd developed certain skills the other pair hadn't. There were things she could do - not even necessarily to force Azaylia out, but to force their will on the others. But that was something she didn't want to resort to, and - as the gold reminded her even now - not something Iesaryth loved to do. It simply wasn't in her nature. Shani also remembered Leova and others under that weight, resentful of it without even really being aware of why, like the Weyr when the queens stopped the dragons from flying. She couldn't really blame them for it. Neither Shani or Iesaryth liked to feel trapped or owned. She wouldn't just be shoved aside or told what was best for her. Would Iesaryth have chosen her if she'd allow it? And she knew, somewhere in her, the other goldrider had to have the same core. Whether it could be drawn out was another question. Without Shani, in a similar situation, Azaylia might have let the brownriders or bronzeriders tell her what to do, what to say, who to go to, just due to her uncertainty. Though she was playing on the pair's fears a little, it was only to make sure Azaylia didn't waver. Council hadn't done Tiriana any favors. Who knew what would happen to them, as young as they were. But why hadn't she tried to take the Weyr down? Why didn't she? Why didn't she just ignore the objections she knew Azaylia would have (but perhaps not voice) and cut H'kon out entirely in favor of Taikrin - as planned? She could have pushed, convinced the other woman it was the right answer, rather than looking to her for cues. She supposed she still could. K'del mentioning the brownrider at all made it certain (in her mind) that they'd spoken, as he'd suggested. Threatened. Like anything H'kon and K'del had to say to each other would be helpful. She'd had some idea how the meeting would go. She should have just forced the whole thing, even if Taikrin was 'crazy', would send the place into chaos. She didn't understand. Perhaps it was that she really wanted to change some of the things Iolene had wanted, some of the things the people actually wanted with the influence she had, the situation they were in. If H'kon had been willing to work with them, with her, it would be somewhat different; the point wasn't to destabilize the Weyr, but to refocus the power of the Weyrleader position only to the wings, make it less important who did the job. If possible, anyway - it seemed the perfect opportunity for it. She didn't want all of these overly-entitled arrogant men to continue to think they could push them around, murder them, depose them, transfer them away when they became inconvenient. Wasn't it obvious, now that Rielsath was gone and there was no one to break the tie, to claim seniority, to claim experience, that they were important? Necessary? Not just there for flights and eggs and Faranth bless Azaylia but, hugs and welcome baskets? If she just pushed Azaylia into decisions, it wouldn't do much to maintain the solidarity they so desperately needed, nor would it help their friendship, which Shani had come to rather like, despite herself. It was so difficult to use the other goldrider. She just didn't see it coming - and for all that Shani didn't care much for fairness, it didn't seem right. It was possible that she no longer blamed the weyrfolk for her father and her family, now that she knew they had no more say in their lives than he had in his death. She could try to change that, in a way that they'd accept. Iolene had just scared them, ironically - as Io had seemed terrified of most people. She should have talked to everyone like Shani did. If she had, no one would have let her die; they likely would have loved her. But it wasn't something that ever came to mind to mention, something she'd always forget was hard for Io. She'd been so lovely, Aishani found it difficult to believe she found it hard to make friends. Maybe it was just that she knew too well what it was like to have your whole world fall apart and wouldn't wish it on anyone. She didn't know if everyone should pay for what only a few people decided, one of whom had been sent from the Weyr, unfit to rule. Supposedly. Shani had begun to wonder. Maybe it was all of it. Maybe it didn't matter. At least, now, she was sure what to do. There had been such a long time where she felt uncertain, felt the weight of Iolene's death and the justice for it, the hypocrisy of her actions given her father, how he'd died, what it had done to her and her family. And finding Io, seeing K'del - that had shaken her. That had made her wonder if he'd paid enough, if she'd paid him a death for a death. But now? She saw his debts were endless. Her family was still in ruins and lost to her, and he wouldn't get out of her way. No, it was easier to plan now. She needed to know what was happening outside, with the other Weyrs. She needed to build. She needed to see where people ended up, what side, what sides there ended up being. She needed to keep the plates spinning. Shani got up to refill her mug and wondered idly where her cousin was.

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Comments

Azaylia (Dragonshy) left a comment on Tue, 29 Jan 2013 21:51:28 GMT.

< Not just there for flights and eggs and Faranth bless Azaylia but, hugs and welcome baskets? Hey! Those are important! ;) The vig is ominous but not, and certainly thoughtful. It's so different from what she was like when she first arrived. Now there's more planning, but with a little heart put into it. Is that Iesaryth's doing? ;) Or did Shani learn to care(even a bit) on her own?

Brieli (Brieli) left a comment on Tue, 29 Jan 2013 22:31:02 GMT.

< Bad influences. *coughtn'rovazayliacough*

K'del (K'del) left a comment on Tue, 29 Jan 2013 22:38:37 GMT.

< Screw you, too.

The point wasn't to destabilize the Weyr, but to refocus the power of the Weyrleader position only to the wings, make it less important who did the job.

That is never going to go down well. Oh boy. XD

Ceawlin (Ceawlin) left a comment on Tue, 29 Jan 2013 23:05:17 GMT.

< Brieli has some machinations up her sleeve! I'm verrrrry curious how it will all play out! ;D

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